European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 31, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Thursday december 31, 1992 there s no place quite so silent Ann Landers dear Ann Landers a few years ago you published an essay that was very thought provoking. A Harvard Law student sent it saying it would save some lives and give your readers a heightened sense of appreciation for being alive. The essay was called the quietest room in town and was written in 1955 by Bill Kiley of the old los Angeles Mirror news. Would you please print it again Northwestern u. Law student dear . Law the essay you have requested made a powerful impression on my readers. I a pleased to re peat it a in time for new years eve. The quietest room in town they have been expecting you. They knew that eventually you a show up. It wont be possible for you to know what is happening so in a going to take the Liberty of filling you in. The beginning for you will be when you stagger to your car. The beginning for them will be when a bulletin goes out on the police radio reporting the location of a serious Accident with instructions to a a proceed at once. A you wont hear the sirens. The ambulance and the police car will arrive together. They will Check you Over and pronounce you dead. A few curious motorists who heard the crash will Stop their cars and walk Back to look at your broken bloody body. Some of them will get sick. The ambulance Driver will Roll out a leather covered Stretcher. The attendant will stuff your hands under your Belt and grab you under the arms. The Driver will take hold of your legs. You will be placed onto the Stretcher and covered with a Blanket. They will drive you to the Coroner s office where a Deputy Coroner will wheel you Over to a big scale. He will remove the Blanket shake his head and Sav a another one.�?�. Your clothes will be Cut off with scissors. You will be weighed and measured. The Deputy Coroner will make a record of your injuries cover you up again and wheel you to a Small room with White tile Walls. There Are hoses in that room. Traffic victims Are almost always a bloody mess. You will be cleaned up As much As possible and moved to a Long Hall with several stretchers lined up against its Pale Green Walls. In that Hall Are 41 crypts. If it has been a slow evening you will have a Stretcher and a crypt All to yourself. But if it s Christmas new years or memorial Day weekend you May have lots of company. They will go away and leave you there in the quietest room in town. In an hour or so they will come Back and move you again. You will be placed behind a Large Glass window so your wife or your husband or your parents or a Friend can identify you. You wont see the agony and pain in their eyes and its just As Well. Nor will you hear the screams and sobbing when they lower the Sheet and ask a is this your husband. Wife. Son. Daughter. Brother. Sister. Friend a As i was saying they Are waiting for you a the police the ambulance Crews the coroners at the morgue and the morticians. They Are expecting you. Remember this tonight when you toss Down that last drink and climb behind the steering wheel. Letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562 Chicago Iii. 60611-0562. A c creators Syndicate dog s year will become cat s meow dear readers what a year this has been George and Barbara Are out and Bill and Hillary Are in first dog Millie will be replaced by first cat socks. Folksy billionaire Ross Perot made a run at the presidency. Actually he made two runs but who s counting 1992 was a Royal pain in the throne for Queen Elizabeth. Prince Charles and Princess Diana Are living apart in his and her castles Prince Andrew and a a Fergien have also parted. Princess Anne 42, ended her marriage to capt. Mark Phillips to marry 37-year-old Timothy . Laurence who once served As her mothers Querry Mummy says she a delighted. Meanwhile a Wing of Windsor Castle caught fire no insurance no kidding. Speaking of flames there was a race riot in los Angeles and floods earthquakes tornadoes volcanic eruptions and famine struck around the Globe. Hotel Queen Leona Helmsley is doing a stretch in the a big House for tax fraud and for a creative  even Alan Dershowitz  save her country and Western Star Garth Brooks became a father. Whitney Houston married Bobby Brown both grammy winners. Pop Singer Paula Abdul wed actor Emilio Estevez. Sen. Ted Kennedy married attorney Victoria Reggie his sex Joan published a Book on How to enjoy classical music. Outgoing president Bush ordered . Troops and food to Somalia As a humanitarian gesture. Pray for peace and Good health for president elect Clinton and vice president elect a Gore. Letters for this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447 mount Morris Iii. 61054. 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