European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 7, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Thursday january 7, 1993 brother s suicide angers sister dear Afan Landers this is one of the most difficult letters in be Ever written but i feel i have to write it. Ori oct 24, my 26-year-old brother shot and killed himself. I can to even begin to explain How i Felt when the police came to my door and told my Mother and me what had happened. I am still having trouble understanding what could have been so wrong in Niy baby brother a life that he would do such a horrible thing he was Young healthy and on the verge of receiving i pad and he had so much going for him. 1 know you done to have the an Swers but just talking about my brother and putting my pain Down on paper Are helpful. 1 Ann Landers know my brother loved his family but he  have been thinking of us when he did this. My Mother is devastated a a he was her Only son. If it weren to for my daughter her Only grandchild i done to know if my Mother would make it through this. I am trying so hard to be Strong for my mom that i Haven to had time to face my own grief. I am thankful that my father who died four years ago was spared this tragedy. My daughter is too Young to remember How tenderly her Uncle held her or How smart and kind he was. 1 will always love him but sometimes i am so angry at what he did to himself and to us that it almost blocks out that love. Please Ann if any of your readers Are thinking about taking their life Tell them where to get help. God knows How Many friends and family members my brother could have called but did no to. Suicide is not. The answer to life a problems and it devastates the ones left behind. A sister left behind w in Sacramento dear sister for those of you who May be contemplating suicide or Torl Hose who have survived such a tragic loss there Ai a a is centers and support groups All Over the unit Tel states and Canada to get the name of the Center nearest you write to the american association of Sulci ology 2459 s. Ash Denver Colo. 80222. Do it today. Dear Ann Lander there Are several reasons for bed wetting. Apparent by one very common one which 1 was not aware of is a hormone deficiency. It is considered a sleep disorder Over which the child has no control. These children sleep very soundly. Because of the Lack of this hormone the sensation of needing to urinate is not present. There is a treatment that doctors can prescribe. I Hope parents who read this will seek professional help. Visalia Calif. Dear Visalia we did extensive checking on this problem and the top authorities in the Field say that bed wetting is not a hormonal problem. When treated by drugs alone which Are costly Little is accomplished. When used correctly the safest most effective and least expensive method of therapy is the conditioning alarm. Letters to Ann Lander Shook be addressed to her at . Box 11 m2, pm Cago Iii. 60011-0562.  creator Syndicate promises a a Tough Call dear Abby. Your advice to a Tough decision a who had made a deathbed Promise to his brother a Ray a to Tell their grandparents that Ray was Gay and had died of aids was a Bummer. In the first place if Ray had wanted his grandparents to know that he was Gay and was dying of aids he should have Tola them himself he had Quot of time. It was unfair of dear Abby a to Lay that kind of Burden on Nis brother Abby you told a Tough decision a you made a deathbed Promise to your brother and you owe it to him to keep your Promise. The truth never Hurt anyone a Only lies  Bull you came up with a trite parable of an answer. A Tough decision made his own Best analysis a Ray is gone now and revealing the truth Isnit going to bring him backhand 1 hate to Hurt our grandparents by revealing something like  who said deathbed promises Are sacred and must be quibble honoured at All costs and where did you learn that the truth never Hurt anybody deathbed promises Are made in times of stress and they Are not necessarily binding. Then you went on to say that Ray had his reasons for wanting his grandparents to know that he was Gay. That is ridiculous what Good would it do their grandparents to know it would Only Hurt them. You blew it Abby. You really blew it big time 1 Charles Piper Rancho Palos Verdes Calif. Dear Charles All right already you and several Hundred other readers wrote to Tell me i blew it but this is the Way i saw it rays grandparents adored him. Ray was a decent respectable lovable Young Man but he did no to have the courage to Tell his grandparents that he was Gay because a As he said a a they were old fashioned and  understand that being Gay was not a Choice. But at the end Ray wanted his grandparents to know that a person could be decent respectable and lovable a and also be Gay. Letters Tor this column should be addressed to dear Abby at  Box 447, mount Morris lit. 01054. C Universal press Syndicate the stars and stripes today a crossword Page 17 across 1 a a nearly was a. Mine. S Fluffy accessory a witticism it appraise 13 a cabaret a lyricist 14 stale Tor sure 15 finished 14 lend a a a hand 1? take a your Leader it insist. Upon 20 admitting Custo Mere 22 expert. ,. 24 Antillean Indian 24 whammy 30 actress Thurman 31 exploits 32 a yes Virginia. New spa 33 shells last word 34 funnyman Caesar 35 moreover 34 entree 3? be judge accept a Able 40 nest builders. Piece. 41 paste Pard 45 California. Tommu. Nity 47 whale t group 44 a a who a the Boss Rote 50 Apple denizen1 51 tar diddle v 52 any it minute. 53 reply log shall we 54 Type squares 55 Barbershop Call Down 1 stepped 2 contain 3 particular 4 ship Defeated by John Paul Jones 5 Abacus 1 components 4 Kyoto cummerbund 7beily. 4 Caan or Coco 4 ultimate 10 drunkard 11 Brace Compie solution Lime 23 mine. Bug Qiju Dunia ghd0q0 to qom a a a aaa  a a us Juuti boy a Una asap a Guana Muaau a a a a a Dudh Ono Aara yesterday s answer ment 14 Collar. 21 opposite of Bellburn 23 Dun sounds. 24 Austen heroine 25 Mcnally a partner 24 Point 27 Atlas Section 24 Warbler 32 get cozy 33 Liam Neeson. A movie 35 parisians. Pal 3scou. Stoa us a Milieu 34 emulates Sellz 34 heavy Reading 42 color Quality 43 Strong As 44 look homeward. Anger hero. 45 barn occupant 44 Warnath. Or Montana 44 intention crypt quip p a x q t w w u t t z x u e xxx q x q d e d z o k x u d h g Xgo t a x o s p Pax Fpx the aug Fugg. Yesterday s crypt pulp Glove thieves Are often fingered by Alert bystanders. Today s crypt pulp due w equals g r