European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 24, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Miss manners Judith Martin dear Mlaka manner my husband and i disagree about whether it is prudent and socially a. A Citable to discuss nicotine patches in the company of smokers. Is it a Faux Pas we Are both nonsmokers and feel that these patches Are a wonderful development but Tom believes that any smoker who is confronted with this subject will feel criticized or personally attacked. 1 believe that smokers Are not that sensitive they would accept the discussion As simply another intellectual review of the latest advances in medical technology. I feel that a Brief inquiry about their impressions of this product would Only be viewed As polite interest in their opinion. If the smoker pursued the discussion i would Fol. Tow his Lead. If however he made a Brief averse response 1 would immediately change the subject to eliminate discomfort on his part. Of onto readers do you have these Little intellectual discussions about nutrition with people whose weight you believe to be unhealthy or about cosmetic surgery with people whose looks you done to like miss manners does t Trust your disinterestedness any More than your husband docs and he knows you better. Bringing up the subject of problems you identify in people you meet socially is the height of tactless nosing is polite people take care to avoid discussing any. Weaknesses they believe their listeners might take personally. Dear miss manners i want to know Why teachers think  rude to Yawn in class. I Don t khow if it is because they think you Are disrupting class or if it is because they Are tired themselves and they think your Yawn will make then Yawn too. Gentle Reader your teachers were too exhausted to Tell you his but miss manners assures you that they have no Hope of stopping your yawns. Their aim is to get you to cover your Mouth both so As to make your Yawn less noticeable because it is True that yawns arc catching and because they done to want to look at your tonsils during class. Manners have never been Able to take control of involuntary bodily reactions which is Why they sensibly attempt instead to augment them with polite voluntary reactions. In the Case of the Yawn it is covering the Mouth. Dear Mitt manners in be been told that children should not attend a formal wedding reception but in be been to several where children were present. I have Many Young cousins and a Niece and Nephew and am unsure How to handle this situation when 1 get married in  Reader there arc two schools of thought about children attending weddings a one that holds that they Are adorable and add to the spirit of the occasion and the other that they Are unruly and bound to be a nuisance. Miss manners holds to the former. It seems to her that weddings being the joining of two families As Welt As of two individuals who happen to have a yen for each other children arc an appropriate part. She is assuming reasonably polite children which May be rather a leap these Days. She does not therefore condemn those who take the other View. But children must then be excluded by age the Good with the bad. Pointing out who behaves like a Piggy is just not Good for family relations. Dear miss manners i am an older woman who tikes to look Nice at All times. However 1 am really annoyed at Church a where 1 never Wear Slacks although they Are prevalent there and among shoppers a by the constant a How Nice you look a you re hot wearing one of your Lovely hats  i Wear a hat a few times a month As i was walking into the late afternoon Vigil wearing a dress stockings very Nice shoes with heels not spikes and an attractive hat a woman i know said casually a Are you coming from a wedding Quot these people look As if they arc going for a walk. One woman said a you always took so Nice. Your hat is Lovely a it s the Way we used to look at mass years  if she knew anyone can go to a store and find a Complete hat department with hats of All colors. When shopping i am approached constantly by people who say a a Why Are you dressed up in a supermarket a the last woman who said that was twice As big As 1 1 weigh 103 pounds and wore Khaki Short shorts no stockings and Tow sandals. What anyone else wears does not bother me. I told my husband i m thinking of going to Church and stores in another town. He says that he is proud of my appearance and that i should not feel bad about their ridiculous comments. He says i never Over dress. Gentle Reader you could not have come to a a better place for sympathetic understanding nobody knows better than miss manners what it is to be a proper lady in an improper world. But the fact that you Are being complimented merely on meeting what you and miss manners consider to be decent standards of dress should not obscure the fact that you arc being complimented. And the proper response to a compliment is to say a thank you a not to consider that these people arc driving you out of your Hometown. United feature Syndicate feeling incorrect address your etiquette ques Llona in Black or Blu Black Ink on a title writing paper to miss manners . Bok 91428, Cleveland Ohio 44101-3428, the Quill shortage prevent miss Man nors Horn answering questions except through this column. Russia joining the charge of the credit card brigade c01uns London England Sui Nevelee. Have Hub tue of test of my a amp Wor Iris a Erma Bombeck i s this a bad time of the year for you to talk about credit cards i could come Back. It s just that 1 read a Story where we arc introducing plastic credit cards to the soviet Union. Exporting baseball and egg Mcduffins is one thing but credit cards Trust me when i Tell you they will not thank us for this. I have raised three children who cannot identify denominations of Money. That is because they have seen so Little of it in their lifetimes. They make monthly payments on food they have already eaten gasoline they be burned Telephone Calls to people they be forgotten and visits to the doctor for ail mints that arc gone. They arc still paying for vacations Long after their tans have faded and their Luggage found. On the Isth of every month their lives pass before their eyes. A a its almost As if plastic is not real but is some kind a of a monopoly game. I keep explaining to them a if you pass go too often you do not collect $200. You go directly to  this has no meaning for them i heard a conversation Between one of them and a Friend recently. The Friend was saying she was maxed out on her credit card and the Bank refused to give her any More credit until she made payment. Our offspring smiled and said a no problem. Just charge the payment to your other Bank  that a like writing the Bank a Check to cover an overdraft. The interesting thing about the russian visa or Mastercard is that you have to have $15,000 to. $20,000 in . Dollars in the Bank before you can get one. The card is simply a Symbol of wealth a status thing. The fees run from $30 to $300 a year. If my kids had that kind of Money they  need credit cards in the first place. As it is life for my kids is basically one giant poker game. They walk into a store and Survey the Mer Chandise. Then they pick a Purchase and Start shuffling a deck of credit cards. At present Russia has Only about 200 visa card holders in the entire country. Pray there is not a russian phrase for a charge it.�?�. Universal press Syndicate no kidding names from nowhere 1. Mama Cass a real name Ellen Cohen 2. Hulk Hogan a real name Terry Bollea 3. Tab Hunter a real name Art Gelien 4. Busty Springfield real name Mary of Brien 5. Mary Astor a real name Lucille Lange Chanke 6. Moms mabley a a real name Loretta Aiken world features Syndicate editor s note the Horoscope now runs every Day in the classified and pages. Page 10 a sunday january 24, 1903