European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 8, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse 9 amp k a a a t y u u t % y ruining today a crossword dear Ann Landers a a Jim and i Are sharing a Home. We Are both divorced retired senior citizens. We purchased this House jointly two years ago and agreed to split expenses and housework. We were extremely compatible and Felt we could spend our Golden years together happily. Our sex life was wonderful. Ann Landers since that time however the intimacy has gradually decreased to Zero. We argue constantly and now occupy separate by drops on opposite ends of the House. Our relationship has become so unhealthy that i am under tremendous stress. To add to this problem Jim seems to be on a path of self destruction smoking excessively and eating junk food. His coughing gets worse each Day. About two months ago after i attempted once again to bring some Romance into our lives Jim confessed that he is overcome with guilt. He feels that As a Catholic he is committing adultery if he is intimate with me outside marriage. Unfortunately we cannot be married in the Church unless he gets his first marriage annulled something he refuses to do because it would make his children illegitimate. A civil ceremony Isnit the answer because that be recognized by the Church. = i now feel betrayed and cheated. Had this Man been honest with me i would never have become involved with him. I feel in a missing out on my Best years trapped in a Loveless relationship that is preventing me from finding someone who is free to love me unconditionally. I have suggested therapy or Selling the House and going our separate ways but he refuses. He wants us to stay together but i simply cannot continue like this. Please help me. . In Florida . It. V \ \ you and Jim heed joint counselling with a priest who will set Jim straight about annulment. The procedure does not make the children quo illegitimate. If Jim refuses to investigate the Steps no Essaiy to Many you the Best course is to split with him permanently. The Man is obviously Ridden with guilt and unless he gets himself squared away he will make a very poor husband. Letters to Ann condors should to addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chi Eago. Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate Mourner irked by thank you poem dear Abby following the funeral of a close relative i received a store bought printed card bearing this poem a perhaps you sent a Lovely card a for sat quietly on a chair. A perhaps you sent a Floral piece a if so we saw it there. A perhaps you spoke the kindest words a was any Friend could say. A perhaps you were not there at All a but thought of us that Day. A whatever you did to console our hearts a we thank you so much for whatever the signed the entire Jones family not their real name. Abby this is the most insulting -1�? a card i have Ever received not Only was i there i travelled through two states to get there. I also sent a costly Floral arrangement and paid for my own a rude message we done to know whether you made it to the funeral or not a perhaps you weren to even there but just thought of us instead. I am furious this stupid message was supposed to be a a thank you from the entire Jones family. Abby the entire Jones family numbers close to 100 people. Believe me after this i am not going to speak to any of them. Am i wrong one of the family dear one please done to be Hasty in your judgment. In All Proba dear Abby ability the person who selected the card did not read the message care Aljy before sending it. This can easily happen in times of stress. Don t Analyse the message the intent was to thank you for your presence and the Lovely Floral piece. Over look the inappropriate poem. Life is too Short to be critical when the intentions Are Good. Dear Abby on Christmas morning i found a lost Labrador retriever who was wearing a choke Chain and a length of rope. Since the animal shelter could not pick him up until the 26th, i drove around asking people of they recognized him and posted a lost dog signs with his description. The dog wound up spending the night and was picked up by the shelter the next Day. My husband who is normally a Loving and sensitive Man was irate with me a claiming that it was a a Means to lock up the dog in our fenced Yard. Rather he said we should have let the dog Loose to find its Way Home. We would like your opinion please. San Diego dog Lover dear dog Lover since the dog had no License or id on its choke Chain it could have been dumped in your neighbourhood by someone who had stolen him or who no longer wanted him. You did the compassionate thing by keeping the dog safely secure while you tried to find the owner. Tell your husband Abby says it s time to Bury this Bone of Contention. Letters Tor this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris Iii. 61054. 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