European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 11, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                A marriage of traditions Bride jump the Broom by Nathan Jackson new Day s Aaron Jones and his new Bride Robbin Betton Jones turned from the altar at the Convent Avenue Baptist Church in Harlem they held hands and jumped Over a Straw Broom. When they reached the Street an appreciative wedding party showered them with Corn not Rice. Then the newlyweds changed from their Church outfits a White tie and tails and a traditional White gown and veil a into West african garb before a lavish reception at a new York hotel. It has been nearly 20 years since Alex Haley s roots revived the african american wedding tradition of Quot jumping die  one of the most memorable moments in the televised version was when the betrothed couple Kizzie and Chicken George jumped Over a Broom signifying their official Union and the beginning of homemaking. So memorable in fact that Harriette Cole fashion editor for essence Magazine used it As the jumping off Point for her Book jumping the Broom the african american wedding planner which in turn inspired the Joneses to incorporate it into their wedding. Quot we figured the blending of our cultures would make for a Blissful wedding a said Robbin Jones 29, a financial planner after jumping the Broom. Cole s Book addresses a generational Awakening among Middle class Black americans to reclaim their african roots. Many Are reintroducing Quot africanist so into the most conservative and traditional of events the wedding. For their african ancestors the wedding was a sacred event with deep ramifications. When a couple married their families were also joined in Wedlock. It was Clear for All involved that there was now one family thus great care was taken in finding the right mate. According to Cole Quot you could t even get engaged without permission of the entire family. Quot recently when Omar Barnaman 35, a substance abuse Counselor and 5herri Beverly Barnaman 30, an assistant chef exchanged vows in a masonic Temple in Long Island n.y., the entire wedding los Angeles times party and most of the guests were attired in traditional West african dress. The modest Hal was filled with colourfully patterned Robes and Matching african crowns seemingly transporting everyone to another land a the Mother land. The Bride was dressed in a three piece gown Quot made by Brothers from Ghana Quot she said with her train los Angeles times Aaron and Robbin Betton Jones jump the Broom at their new York wedding White at left Omar and Sherri Beverly Barnaman Are married in traditional West african dress. Attached to the Back of her embroidered Vest a a style to symbolize Royalty a and her betrothed was decked out in traditional nigerian White pants shirt and jacket tastefully laced with african embroidery. Sherri Barnaman is a Baptist and her Groom is a Muslim they had a minister from each religion to bless the Union and the couple exchanged vows twice. During the Muslim ceremony the inn had both families sit behind the Bride and the Groom and they All participated in the Union which according to the Imam is the traditional african Way. Quot it was the Way we wanted it to be Quot Sherri Barnaman said after the honeymoon. Quot we wanted everyone to come together for each couple to reflect on their commitments and  Cole herself was married three months ago in an african american ceremony. Quot we need to concentrate on the Beauty the Power and dignity of our ancestors to help us move Forward with careful Well planted Steps Quot Cole said. Quot this Way we Don t have to move  saturday december 11,1993 the stars and stripes on the family a you offer solutions and suggestions for handling the typical frustrations and problems of parenthood and marriage. But that makes me wonder about your family. Does your Home always run smoothly do you Ever feel like a failure As a father and if so How do you Deal with it a i have been asked that question Many times although the answer should t Surprise you. My wife Shirley and i experience the same frustrations and pressures others face. Our behaviour is not always exemplary nor is that of our children. And our household can become very hectic at times. Perhaps i can Best reply by describing the Day we now refer to a3 Black sunday. We began the Day by getting up too late so everyone had to Rush to get to Church on time. That produced emotional pressure especially for Shirley and me. Then there was a matter of spilled milk at the breakfast table and Black shoe polish on the floor. My son Ryan got dressed first enabling him to slip out the Back door and get himself dirty from head to toe. It was necessary to take him Down to the skin and Start Over with clean clothes. Instead of handling these irritants As they arose we began criticizing one another and hurling accusations Back and Forth. Yes St was a morning to be remembered or forgotten. Finally four frazzled people managed to stumble into Church. T Felt guilty throughout the Day for the strident tone of our Home on that Day. Dure our children shared the blame but they were merely responding to our disorganization. Shirley and i had overslept and that s where the conflict originated. That evening i called the family together around the Kitchen table i began by describing the kind of Day we had had and asked each person to forgive me for my part in it. Then each family member got the Opportunity to say whatever he or she was feeling inside. Ryan was Given the first shot and he fired at his Mother. Quot you be been a real grouch today mom a he said with feeling. Quot you be blamed me for everything i be done All  Danae my daughter then poured out her hostilities and frustrations. Finally Shirley and i had an Opportunity to explain the tensions that caused our overreaction. It was a valuable time of ventilation and honesty that Drew us together once More. My Point is that every family has moments when it violates All the rules and its own standards. The important question is How do mothers and fathers re establish Friendship within their families when the storm has passed open non threatening discussion offers one solution to that situation. Returning to the question a psychologist can no More prevent All emotional distress for his family than a physician can circumvent disease in his. We live in an imperfect world which inflicts struggles on us All. Or. James c Dobson is president of focus on the family an organization dedicated to preserving the Home correspondence should be sent to him at focus on Trie family. P 0 Box 444. Colorado Springs Colo 80303 15