European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 11, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Saturday december 11,1993 the stars and stripes Page 21 inner today a crossword dear Ann Landers recently i celebrated my birthday my husband invited some friends to join us for dinner at an elegant restaurant. It was his gift to me. Everyone knew the evening was our treat. A Tom a my husband s Best Friend ordered two rounds of drinks for everyone then an appetizer a salad lobster cry Pes Suzette for dessert and four bottles of a very expensive wine for the table. After that he ordered after dinner drinks. I am pregnant and my husband is a recovering alcoholic. All our friends know this. Needless to say the dinner Bill was horrendous a $790 for seven j people. Tom has taken advantage of my husband on previous occasions. Since this was a Celebration in my Honor i did t know How to handle it. In addition to the expensive menu i thought the excessive drinking around my husband was totally has now been two weeks and i can t shake the resentment and anger. What should i do in the future to prevent this from happening feeling taken in Kansas dear Kansas when you Are hosting Don t let anyone else take control. Decide on the menu and wine in Advance and do All the ordering. Ann Landers dear Ann Landers this is for the Young Man who often Speaks foolishly because he fears he will be perceived As a a Dummy Quot if he remains silent. Please consider the Wisdom of the Book of proverbs 17 27-28 1. A a Man of knowledge uses words with restraint and a Man of understanding is even tempered. Even a fool is thought i self he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his in More modern terms if you done to know the answer the Best response is a i Don t it s a lot safer than bluffing and adds to ones stature. Quiet and nobody a fool in Stillwater okla. Dear quiet you sound As if you Are nobody s fool anyplace. Thanks for the counsel. Dear Ann Landers i divorced my alcoholic and abusive husband while pregnant with our first and Only child. A Bryan Quot expressed no interest in our son but the court ordered him to pay child support so at least i have that. But what can i do or say to the boy to explain his father s absence in his life no City or state please dear n.c., . Make it simple. Say a your daddy and i Are no longer married Ana i done to know where he this covers you in Case one Day Bryan surfaces and expresses an interest in seeing his son. Meanwhile its his loss utters to Ann under should be addressed to her it . Bom 11562, in Cago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate lessons Learned the hard Way can work dear Abby i read the letter you published about slamming doors and it prompted thoughts of my a discipline angelic had my first car just a few months when 1 accidentally left the headlights on stranding myself 30 Miles from Home. When i called Home i reached my father. Expecting to hear an angry compliance with my request for a ride Home imagine my Surprise when he said a Well you d better Start walking while its still Light from the dead silence on the line after he Hung up the receiver i knew it was useless to Call again and i managed to handle it myself. To this Day 30 years later i have never locked inside or lost my keys and i have certainly never forgotten to turn off my headlights. My fathers Small but emphatic gesture taught me a big lesson in self Reliance serving me quite Well in Many aspects of my life. Dear Abby incidentally thanks for your column. Lisa Mckellar. Tarpon Springs Fla. Dear Lisa you were not the Only Reader who identified with the letter Shkut the father who cured his daughter of door slam Mhz. Read on dear Abby i am writing in response to the father taking the door off the girls room. Jurt in the last few weeks my husband got tired of turning my daughter s lights off so he took out the Light bulbs to teach her a lesson. Well after a week of no lights in her room he put them Back. She has not forgotten to turn them off. We will Sec How Long this will last. We showed her the letter about the door and she laughed and said a at least i am not the Only one who got a lesson in proper care of the i can see again mom Quot in Crescent City Calif. Letter Tor this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Bom 447, mount Morris. Iii. 61054. 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