European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 14, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Monday february 14, 1994 the stars and stripes Page 15 sane guidelines on love infatuation today s crossword dear readers today in t just another monday. It s a very special Day for Candy manufacturers jewellers florists at Tandoh yes lovers. In Honor of St. Valentine s Day i am printing a frequently requested essay that offers sane guidelines and raises some serious questions for the crazy in love starry eyed among you who arc certain that your beloved Hung the Moon and nobody but nobody has Ever been so much in love before. Love or infatuation infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another. Love is Friendship that has caught fire. It takes Root and grows one Day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You Are excited and eager but not genuinely Happy. There Are nagging doubts unanswered questions Little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just As soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You Are warmed by his presence even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him nearer. But near or far you know he is yours and you can wait. Ann Landers infatuation says we must have each other right away. I Don t want to risk losing love says be patient Don t panic. Plan your future with infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you Are honest you will admit it is difficult to be in one another s company unless you Are sure it will end in intimacy. Love is the maturation of Friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks Confidence. When he s away you wonder if he s cheating. Sometimes you Check. Love Means Trust. You Are Calm secure and Anthrea tend. He feels that Trust and it makes him even More trustworthy. Infatuation might Lead you to do things you could re Gret later but love never will. If you have love in your life it can make up for a great Many things you Don t have. If there is no love in your life whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the Circle. It fills the empty spaces in your heart. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. Letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chi Cago of. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate secret bequests not such a Good idea dear Abby this former Lowan takes Strong exception to your response to another Lowan who thought his son was out of line for wanting to know what was in his parents will. You replied the contents of one s will Are usually not disclosed until it s time to deliver the that can have disastrous consequences. Abby those of us who Are involved in estate planning be Lieve it is necessary for clients to discuss their estate planning with family members. This is especially True when the family As sets include farming property and family businesses. With a Federal estate tax that can exceed 50 percent of the value of the estate assets plus state death taxes plus Legal costs it is essential to instruct your children of your intentions. You usually consult your experts which is what you should have done in this Case. That son needs a Road map. Jerry a. Kasner professor of Law Santa Clara University Santa Clara Calif. Dear professor Kasner thank you and the Many others who wrote to dear Abby Point out my error. Read on dear Abby i strongly disagree that parents should keep the con tents of their wills a secret from their children. My Opin Ion is based on numerous cases several of which Are summarized As follows Al fifty year old son spends $7,500 on father s funeral without realizing the net Worth of his parents was $8,000, thereby leaving his Mother destitute. 2 daughter takes senile Mother into her Home and lovingly cares for her for the last three years of Mother s life. Mother s will written 10 years earlier gives entire $40,000 estate to an old Boyfriend who had not been seen for the past five years. 3 father s will leaves everything to son but father had All intangible property in joint and survivor ship accounts with daughter. Assets consisted of $600,000 farm and $350,000 in the joint and survivor ship accounts. Daughter died before father who was then senile. At father s funeral son informs daughter s six children that he will keep All $950,000. And he did 4 elderly couple places All assets $2 million in Trust with an unscrupulous individual resulting in poverty for couple. Ohio attorney at Law letters or this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris. 111.61054. 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