European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 9, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Tuesday August 9, 1994 commentary 1 the stars and stripes Page 13custody ruling an outrage to single mothers Anna Quindlen sometimes. You just can twin for losing. Particularly if you re a single Mother in America. Jennifer Ireland got pregnant when she was 15. She was a cheerleader her Ltd Boyfriend was the Captain of the football team. She decided to have a baby rather than an abortion graduated third in her High school class Androna a scholarship to the University of Michigan. When she moved to Ann Arbor she took with her Maranda Ireland Smith now 3. Maranda was enrolled in a licensed Day care Home where a woman cared for her own two children and three others. And that explains How the 19-year-old student came to lose custody of her child. Confused of yes so Are we All / except apparently for judge Raymond Cashen. He had to find a Clear and convincing evidence to take Maranda away a a from Ner Mother and award custody to the father Steve Smith 2 hand in his written opinion the sole difference he finds Between the two is that Jennifer uses paid Day care and Steve will not. A under the future plans of the Mother the minor child will be in essence raised and supervised a great part of the time by strangers a the judge wrote. Overruling the recommendations of / to impartial child welfare groups Cash decided that the Little girl who has never lived with her father full time should go to him while Steve too goes to College Maranda will be cared for by his Mother. A classic on the one hand a Man who has found a woman to handle his Domestic concerns. On the other a woman trying to do it herself. Its the equivalent of a Good Mother losing custody because she works and her sex husbands new wife does not. This decision is an outrage. It is insulting to those people who provide Loving Day care environments in their Homes. The woman who cares for Maranda is no More a a a stranger than her kindergarten teacher will someday be. It reinforces the knee Jerk belief that the latest results of the teen sex Survey fire be no it i Yin no. Relatives make better care givers which is not necessarily so. A study by the families and work Institute in new York listed among its most surprising findings that a children Are not More Likely to be securely attached to providers who Are relatives than to  and it reflects a View astonishingly out of touch with the world. A there is no Way a wrote the judge a that a single Parent attending an academic program at an institution As prestigious As the University of Michigan can do Justice to their studies and the raising of an infant  for All of us with rigorous jobs and Small children that not Only is patently false its deeply offensive. Last month came word from the census Bureau that the number of women having babies without getting married had soared Over the last decade. A substantial number Are teen agers who leave school and go on welfare. Their futures evaporate when their babies arrive. And then there is Jennifer Ireland. The judge tarred her in his opinion As a sexually indiscriminate and said that when she was in High school she left much of the rearing of Maranda to her Mother. Somehow when she did this it was a vice when Marandas father proposes it it becomes a virtue but though she would never Lead the life of an average College student Jennifer tried to forge ahead when she made a mistake. She went to court to collect child support. And after she was awarded a paltry $8 a week her former Boyfriend smacked her with a custody suit. She thought her ambition would count in her favor. And in his opinion the judge noted that As she grew older a a new Nia purity and determination made itself  but maturity and maternity were overridden by a kind of Donna Reed cultural terrorism the notion that mothers who work even work at bettering themselves for the Sake of their children Are second rate. One of her attorneys said that if Jennifer had stayed Home and gone on welfare she would never have lost her daughter. True Mayle but then shed have to listen to politicians a who have made unmarried mothers the new official National Scapegoat a a pontificate about How she should be forced to go to work go to school get off the Dole. Can twin for losing damned if she strives damned if she does no to. This Case goes next to an appeals court. Lets Hope someone there is from planet Earth and not mired in fantasy land. Teacher will someday be. Married had soared Over the last decade purity and determination made itself Evi v. Trees the knee Jerk belief that a substantial number Are teen agers who  c now York Timon. Not what you know it s How you look 0,�?� i said As the cabby took another wrong inthe transportation Industry a i ventured. A a what a competent looking got to do with it s him the address again a a fairly Well known a not. Really a the cabby said a but he could use. The said. . Uirt a i a a a Oll Virtu a in inn think Navish  Pitt to a no no a i said As the cabby took another wrong turn. I gave him the address again a a fairly Wel known spot in the Maryland suburbs a a and also a bit of a chewing out. A it looks like you done to really have any idea where you re going or How to get there a i told him. A a in a sorry a the cabby said. A this is strange territory for me. I Hope in a not making you late. In a truly  a a a. A a. . A. A. His uncharacteristic humility took me by Surprise and i was instantly sorry id been so harsh with him. \ a look Man a i Tom him. A a done to feel bad just because you made a couple of mistakes. I know you done to get out this Way very often. Most of your runs Are in d.c., and believe me you do just Fine in the City. These new suburbs could confuse anybody. The Only reason i sounded a wee bit critical is that. Well i just got the impression you a really rather be somewhere else. A not a bad insight for a newspaper Guy the cabby said. A truth is id rather be at Home fixing up my House putting in new Guinea impatiens trimming my Lig strums. And my wife a car needs a new Modulator valve it a be fun to put that in. I Haven to said this to anybody else but in be been thinking maybe id turn the cab Over to my brother in Law. That Way i could do the things i like to do a fixing up the House looking after the cars taking care of the insurance. Heck maybe i could even get another cab and put my Cousin to work t0i�?Tve always admired the entrepreneurial spirit and i told him so. I especially liked the part about sticking with the things he liked to do and leaving the other part of the operation to people with the appropriate interest and expertise. A i take it your brother in Law has some experience inthe transportation Industry a i ventured. A not. Really a the cabby said a but he could use. The   a. A.  a. A. A a Well does he know the City the shortest he at least talk to the passengers about the tourist attractions a a Check he can to even figure out the Zon Yares a the cabby admitted a but he a a tall competent looking Guy routes from Here to there can with a really Nice voice and i thought id let him handle the cab driving a especially the trips to the suburbs a now i was getting concerned. A just How did you come up with this Brilliant idea of yours a i asked. William Raspberry or the in be been a president watch the whole time in be been in Washington a the cabby said a and i be noticed something. The Man in the White House will usually have one thing he a really interested in and that a what hell focus on. The rest of the stuff he turns Over to aides. A take Reagan for instance. His thing was anti communism which he was very Good at and he left the Domestic stuff to either people. A same with Bush. Clinton on the other hand is deep into Domestic policy and so when it comes to foreign policy he turns that Over to other people. A now me personally in a More like Clinton. My interests Are on the Domestic Side so i thought id just let my competent looking brother in Law. A a a what a competent looking got to do with it a i said. A Well How do you think David Gergen got to be Clinton a senior foreign policy adviser a the cabby said. A Gergen knows As much about foreign policy As my brother in Law knows about the taxi commission. But he looks and sounds really serious and he a so tall you know a a a a a a a ,. A a a. A a ��?��?�.�. A �1 a a .�����.�. A a actually i told the cabby his observations had some Validity although they missed the fundamental Point. A a president whose main interest is foreign policy needs a Domestic affairs person with his own ideas Ana perhaps his own constituency. A president who makes his own Domestic policy can make do with smart functionaries on his Domestic affairs staff but Quot he needs a Strong self starter in the key foreign policy  a that just shows How Little you know a the cabby said. A president Clinton a interest is on the Domestic Side but he named Warren Christopher a a natural born no. 2 Guy if there Ever was one a As his Secretary of state and now he a named Gergen with Zero foreign policy experience As a foreign policy  a and look at the results a i said. A Good Point a the cabby said. A say you  happen to know anything about new Guinea teens would you a c Washington Post. 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