European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 16, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Is Ken George controlled Singer can serve to emphasize words and help people talk their Way through their  expressing anger often has a Good Side by Don Oldenburg the Washington Post f b Don t think it is a lot of fun h h yen your wife is mad at h 9 you and she tells you you re a Jerk says psychologist John  it is functional in a marriage and that gets it put in the  a leading researcher in identifying predictors of successful marriages Gottman has started the anger project at the University of Washington Seattle to investigate the functional and dysfunctional forms of getting hot under the Collar. He reports that the latest scientific evidence on anger supports what Many therapists Are finding out in the trenches of interpersonal discord that expressing anger in the right ways is Good for a relationship while expressing it inappropriately can spell trouble. By noting voice tone facial expressions and nonverbal behaviour of his research subjects Gottman has separated what he Calls pure anger when people who Are upset say so and attempt to talk it out from other forms of anger including belligerence provocation domination and defensive expressions. It turns out that pure anger is not harmful says Gottman. It functions like putting your words in italics. It gets people s attention. But these other forms of anger expression the belligerent and defensive forms Are very dysfunctional arid Are predictive of trouble other studies reach similar conclusions. University of Wisconsin researchers who be been measuring file kids who get angry and then Cool Down often wind up feeling better. Brain activity associated with different emotions have found that fear and sadness show activity on the right frontal lobe of the brain. The brain s left hemisphere lights up meters when subjects Are Happy amused or interested. That also is True for anger says Gottman it s on the left with other positive  studies at the University of Alabama demonstrate that women tend to cod Down and relax after experiencing anger whereas men tend to stay angry after the acl men Are More Likely to have distress maintaining thoughts righteous indignation or feeling like an innocent victim blended with sadness and disappointment than women says Gottman. They keep thinking about things which makes retaliation More likely.", " children also Cool Down quickly one reason they often seem to behave so much better after having a Tantrum. At Catholic University in Washington psychology professor Clifford Notarius who has been studying Happy and unhappy couples for 20 years finds that anger that is not dealt with constructively in relationships is the signature of a distressed  that destructiveness he explains often is fuelled by a series of hot thoughts that serve As the searching explanations for the disappointment or injury Felt. The trick to defusing an explosive situation says Notarius is to make those explanations very specific and operable to the moment. When someone is 45 minutes late for an appointment thinking he s probably caught in a terrible traffic Jam is much less agitating than he never watches the time or he s always putting other people before me or he s just an considerate  Gottman has been measuring another indicator that May provide some clues to when anger crosses the line of effectiveness. If your heart rate is Over 100 beats a minute you can t really listen very Well he says. And not Only can t you take in information very Well but you tend to rely on older Learned Behaviours namely the dysfunctional run or attack forms the heart betrays the mind at that Point says Gottman explaining that just like in exercise where there s an optimum Range for heart rate the same is True when exercising one s anger. Assuming that in a fit of rage you have the wherewithal to Check your pulse keep it below 95 beats per  to your health baby s puffy face jewelry for infants by Modena Wilson and Alain  Baltimore Sun when my toddler wakes from her Nap her face and eyes Are red and swollen. Is she allergic to something in the bed a puffy face on waking is common. Although we be never seen a formal explanation we think mild swelling of the facial tissues can be explained by what is known about blood circulation. The smallest blood vessels the capillaries that wind their Way through body tissues Are somewhat Leaky. A Small amount of liquid from the blood seeps out. It tends to collect where tissues Are Loose. The eyelids Are a Good example the liquid is also pulled Down by Gravity so it shows up As swelling in body parts that Are dependent meaning in medical terms lower or nearer the ground. When a child is sleeping on her stomach liquid can gradually fill up Loose spaces in her face. When she wakes up the liquid drains out partly by Gravity and partly by the squeezing action of her facial Muscles As she begins to move them. Facial skin can get Pinker As Well As puffy while a child sleeps if her face gets warm to get rid of excess heat the blood vessels dilate expand giving skin a Pinker Hue. We suspect however your daughter s swollen red face is somewhat out of the Ordinary or you would t have written us about it. Something in her bed May be causing a skin reaction while she sleeps. If so it would exaggerate the Normal changes we have spoken about. Perhaps a crib toy or Blanket laundry soap that remains on the sheets or even the coarseness of the cloth is irritating her skin. We suggest you Experiment by removing All extras from the crib changing detergents rinsing sheets and blankets twice and line drying them. Make certain that you Are using a clean Cotton mattress pad and smooth Cotton sheets. If there is no improvement you will need to sit Down with your daughter s doctor and discuss the problem. Q a Friend came to see our 4-month-Oldand brought an unusual gift a Little Gold ring. Is it All right for her to Wear it we have seen several babies wearing rings recently but we worry about them. Babies hands grow quickly. A ring that just fits  soon be too tight and might restrict growth or become difficult to remove As the Finger grows. On the other hand if a ring is Loose it might slip off. That could be quite dangerous because it might be swallowed. Remember babies often suck their fingers and put Small objects in Thel Mouths. So we Don t think the ring is Safe on your baby s Finger. And she should not Wear it on a necklace either a Chain or Cord around her neck might get caught and choke her. We recommend that you treasure the ring As a Keepsake rather than considering it jewelry to be worn. Modena Toon and Alain Jefte work at the Johm Hopmen children Center in Baltimore my. Tuesday August 16,1994 the stars and stripes 15