European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 18, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Friday november 18, 1994 the stars and stripes Page 25 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers a 16-year-old japanese girl from Tokyo will be stay ing with us for the next several months. This is her firs visit to the United states. We have a hot tub and invited Midori to use it. I was amazed when she appear Din the tub totally nude. This shocked me because i always thought the japanese were much More puritanical an modest than americans. Midori explained that Japa Nese families and close friends Bathe together regularly in the nude custom centuries old. She cannot understand Why we americans Wear bathing suits. When i mentioned the sexual implications she looked puzzled and replied there i nothing sexual about  i am stumped. If japanese males and females can Bathe naked together without becoming sexually aroused Why can t we puzzled in Calif. Dear p. In Calif this is an excellent example of cultural differences. Re member the Early settlers in our country were puritans deeply religious people who came Over from England and brought their concepts of morality with them. Actually sexologist claim total nakedness is a turn off and partial nudity is much More provocative. Gypsy Rose Lee the Queen of the strippers knew this and used it to great advantage. Dear Ann Landers i had to respond to the woman who did t want any. Children at her wedding reception. You be printed Sev Rera letters on this subject and i Hope in the interest of fairness you la print this  our son and his Fiancee said they wanted All of our 10 grandchildren Ages 3 to 14 to take part in their Spring wedding i cringed but agreed with fingers crossed. The 3-year-old boy was the ring bearer. The 4-year-old was the Flower girl. Two 5-year-Olds were train bearers. An 8-year-old, and a 10-year-old were i charge of the gifts. A 10-year-old boy was an usher and an 11-year-old girl took care of guest registration. The13-year-old and 14-year-old were the Candle lighters. They All behaved beautifully at the wedding and the reception. When it was Over the 5-year-old boy did t want to take his Tuxedo  is up to parents to control their children at weddings and receptions. If they Aren t controllable 1 say. Leave them at Home. I am Happy to report that the wedding was a huge Success. Lucille in Miami dear Lucille Heartiest congratulations. All i can say is you have a most extraordinary family. Dear Ann Landers can you think of any circumstances that might justify the following?1. A person having his own Telephone tapped without the knowledge of others who live in the House and2. Listening in on phone conversations without the knowledge of family members or guests and3. Hiring a private investigator to follow other persons living in the House in order to know their whereabouts and activities at All times. Please respond Ann. Your assessment of this strange string of happenings is important to me. Bewildered in san Diego dear bewildered i can Only guess but it sounds As if someone in you House is gathering evidence to be presented in a court Case. You would have a better handle on who that person might he than i. Letters to Ann Landers should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate inf no thank yous can mend Herf dear Abby it s been startling to read the opinions regarding responses to expressions of  the demise of my deaf husband Barnaby More than 500 people phoned sent cards Flowers and food at tended the funeral or visited me. Touched by the love that sur rounded my family i became More aware that god is love and love is from god. For weeks i wrote thank you notes feeling that if a person could make the Effort to express sym Pathy to my family in any Way sincerely wanted to respond. It was a Joy to write to those  ple. I even went Over the list of those who signed the memory Book at the funeral Home and attended the funeral and wrote quibble dear Abby each of them expressing my family s gratitude for their love  -.  was the Winner because As i wrote my grief for Barnaby melted away and memories of his life an what it meant to others flooded my mind and i remembered his deep love for All of us. Counting All our friends and blessings prompted me to write a Book about my husband. Now my children and grandchildren have memories of Barnaby they would never have had. The Bottom line there is Joy in taking the time to write thank you notes to those who have expressed sympathy. Your readers should try it. Vera Rush Hill Decatur a. Dear Vera Rush Hill thank you for the positive spin you put of acknowledging expressions of sympathy. More people May Fol Low your innovative Lead and find it rewarding. Letters Tor this column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447.mount Morris Iii. 61054. 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