European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 22, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Tuesday november 22, 1994 the stars and stripes Page 21 imposing in Low has hostess fed up. -.". Today s crossword 1� 5 pet a s 5, dear Ann Landers what do you think about a widowed brother in Law who likes to spend frequent Long weekends with my husband and me bringing along his two sons Ages 9 and 11?"Ben" never brings a gift or a bag of groceries nor has he Ever offered to pay for anything. When we go to a movie or a restaurant he stands Back and lets my Hus band pay. Ben has a Good Job but Iguess he figures my husband Chris has a better one Aswell As an endless Supply of Money. Ben s kids Are turned Loose the minute he arrives and he never stirs himself to Monitor their activities. I am expected to watch his sons As Well As my own two. This is a big responsibility because they Are so wild.  -. I be seen his boys jump into our Pool with All their clothes on including shoes. Then they come into the House soaking wet and leave puddles on the carpeting and strew wet cloth Sand towels All Over the House. They also like to climb Ann Landers Over our backyard Fence and play on the private Golf course behind our Home. Chris and i do not allow our children to do this but when their cousins do it it shard to Stop them Ben s response is those kids sure do have a lot of  Chris says that i complain too much and that it s no big Deal to have three extra people in the House. He does t realize that shopping cooking cleaning doing laundry and making extra Beds Are a lot of work. I be considered going away for a few Days when becomes to visit but i m terrified that i would return to find the House wrecked and a child in the Hospital. Ben really is a Nice Guy and i like him but having him and his kids so often is too stressful for me and my resentment is beginning to show. I need to know if i am being unreasonable. What do you think surly in the South dear surly unreasonable no. Just fed up. Your husband does t get the picture. I suggest you give him some on the Job training. The next time Ben announces that he and the boys Are coming Tell Chris you re taking your kids to visit some family members. Then do it a weekend on his own will give your husband the education he needs lotion Joann Landers How be add sad to her at . Boa 11562, Chi Cago ii60611-0562. C creator synd eat he s Gre of but critical a pus Rufe dear Abby i have heard that you Don t believe a letter is real unless it is Handwritten with misspelled words and Pearsall Over the paper. Well this is real. What should i do about my Boyfriend i am 45, he is 50, and we be been seeing each other for several months. He is Nice looking dresses Well and claims to be educated but he has a trait that May be the end of our relationship unless i can figure out a Way to get him to Stop it. He is very critical. He comments on everything i eat. Example boy you sure use a lot of Salt also wow. Are you going to eat Al that or do you really think All that butter is Good for you i am not overweight. People Tell me i look sensational. My Mother said it is the height of rudeness to comment on somebody else s food in a restaurant or at Home and i should not put up with it. She asks what do you need Hilfor Abby i have seen this Man lick his knife in a restau rant i was appalled but i did t say anything i have thought of giving him a Book on etiquette Buti have Given him books on other subjects which i doubt if he Ever read. Maybe he can t read he has other traits that bother me such As jealousy. If i talk to another Man he accuses me of flirting. Suppose you wonder Why 1 go out with him with All quibble dear Abby these red flags. Well a 45-year-old woman can t afford to be too fussy. Or is there something wrong with my attitude i Don t know whether to sign myself Desper ate or insecure or Al dear both \ \ _ you can t be desperate enough to tolerate such insulting and belittling behaviour. Unless he has some redeeming features you failed to mention he s Good to his Mother kind to animals and generous to the poor i m with your Mother. What do you need him for dear Abby a a of a my husband and i really need your advice. We have dear friends of whom we Are very fond and the feeling is Mutual. There is one problem. Their House is filthy and the Kitchen is unsanitary. Their dogs run free in the Kitchen while food is out dog hair gets into every thing and their cooking utensils pots and pans Are Visi Bly dirty v., v / they keep insisting on having us to dinner and Weare running out of excuses. Help believe it or not they re really great people. No name no town no guts dear no name Etc Tell these dear friends who Are great people the truth. It would be a kindness. Letter Tor trite column should be addressed to dear Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris. In. 61054. 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