European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 9, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Friday december 9, 1994 a a / to be True loser dear Ann Landers five years ago my first husband passed away very suddenly from a massive heart attack. He was Only 38. We had two Young children. Two years later i harried a marvelous Man. A a Tom is wonderful to my children and treats them As if they were his own. \ \ i was always close to my first husband brother and his wife  at first they seemed very Happy that i had remarried but a year after the wed Ann Landers Ding my children began to Call Tom a dad a and that a when the trouble started. It Lila constantly reminds my _ children that Tom is not their real father. She has in fact told her own kids that Tom is not their Uncle. She often makes unkind comments about Tom in front of her inlays. I still consider them my in Laws too but she goes out of her Way to make me look bad in their eyes. Lila claims her husband feels the same Way but he has never indicated by word or deed that he considers Tom an outsider. In be had enough of lilacs Rotten behaviour. How can i put an end to All the Back biting without creating a major break. Fed up to the Teeth in California dear Teeth distance yourself from Lila and let her know Why you no longer choose to be in her company. Lets Hope that time will help heal the wounds and that one Day she will be Happy you were Able to rebuild your life. Dear Ann Landers my parents came to the United states from China in the late 1940s. When they decided to remain Here there was much about american society arid culture they found puzzling. They used your column to help them understand How americans think about the various dilemmas of life. I remember How they would sit around the table with other chinese immigrants. One person would read a letter addressed to you and the others would try to predict your response to it. So dear Ann not Only has your column helped peole with personal problems it has served As a vehicle for helping newcomers to the United states assimilate into american culture. Obviously parents have a lot to do with the Way a child grows up and 1 write to thank you for the part you played in my relatively Happy Well adjusted life. Mom passed away several years ago but my dad remains a regular Reader of yours As am i and still hands me clippings of a favorite column from time to time. If you could print this letter in a sure my dad would enjoy and appreciate it. Herb in Washington . Dear Herb thank you for one of the sweetest letters in be received in a Long time. It pleases me enormously that my column has been such a help to you a and to others. How Good of you to let me know. Letters to Ann lenders should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chicago Iii. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate old friends really know How to Hurt dear Abby i need some advice on How to Deal with a matter that has Hurt me deeply. My husband and i Are longtime friends with three couples in their 70s As we Are. Over the years when we have received announcements of High school and College graduations marriages and births of their grandchildren we have always dear Abby responded with gifts or checks. We can Well afford it my granddaughter recently had a baby. She is unmarried she is opposed to abortion and chose to keep her baby and finish College. I wrote to an etiquette expert and asked the Correct Way to word the printed birth announcement. She suggested sending baptismal announcements instead. So i sent the announcements to my three closest friends and not one of them sent my granddaughter a card a much less a gift i am very bitter with these so called friends and will never Send them even a Christmas card again. If they Are Good christians a deliver me thanks for letting me release this anger. Sign me deeply Hurt dear Hurt i cannot fault you for feeling Hurt but instead of ignoring these longtime friends May 1 suggest you Tell them How disappointed you Are in them for having ignored the birth of your great grandchild. Dear Abby it Quot a a. A. For years i have been wanting to write to you about a problem Many of us older folks have during the Christmas and hanukkah season Many of us have exchanged Holiday greetings with longtime friends and relatives year after year then suddenly their cards and letters Stop coming. We can Only assume that they Are seriously ill or read. Occasionally a thoughtful relative will Send a note saying a Uncle Elmer died peacefully last August a or a aunt Martha is incapacitated and is no longer Able to Send Holiday greetings a Etc. However All too often we Are left wondering. If my Holiday cards Are not returned to me i naturally assume they were received but Abby it would be comforting to know what happened a and when. Louise Hauter la Canada Calif. Dear Louise your Point is Well taken. Thank you for a letter that i Hope will Jar some readers into action. Letters Tor thl column thou id be addressed to dear Abby st . 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