European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 9, 1995, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 20 the stars and stripes saturday september 9, 1995 Hetman d you mind if i take a photo it s not often we get a 15-cent  who fight must realize scars left on children dear Ann Landers i fee compelled to respond to a a bystander in Wisconsin a whose mothers marital problems became her business because she was the oldest child. I too grew up in a household where my parents fought constantly. They loved each other very much but they could not live together. You were right to Tell a a bystander that her parents need professional help. They might also Benefit from separating for a while. Our parents did this and finally divorced but the time apart allowed them to work things out and they eventually remarried. As for us kids divorce was a piece of cake compared to the daily fighting. It is very difficult for children to get up and go to school with Clear Heads when there is so much turmoil at Home. Picking up the pieces of your family after each get is not easy. Now several years later we arc All close to one another we Lead productive lives and we re relatively Well adjusted. A. Being the oldest like a bystander a i certainly remember the pain. It never really goes away. Tell her to hang in there. The future is almost certain to be better than the past. Remembering in Utah dear Utah i Hope parents who fight in front of their children will read this with interest and vow to do better. Dear Ann Landers i am a never marked older woman with a problem. I Hope you can help. Because i am unable to find someone to accompany me to a Church dinner or other Public affairs Many times i go alone hoping to run into someone i know. What i have encountered too Many times is deeply discouraging. Here Are my depressing dinner experiences the person to one Side of me turns his Back to me the entire dinner. The one on the other Side is not interested in conversation. The person across from me is More interested in eating than talking. I try to make pleasant conversation but i find that no one is interested in dinner conversation with a strange especially an older woman. I have found myself throughout an entire dinner feeling totally alone in . I done to want to turn into a Recluse but the last Charity dinner i attended made me think that perhaps i would have been a lot better off if i had stayed Home and listened to some Ann Landers music or read an interesting Book. People May not be aware of this problem but it is a real one and has made some of us reluctant to go to dinner gatherings alone. 1 a Little More awareness on the part of those who Are accompanied might make a lonely persons evening a great Deal More pleasant. I Youngstown Ohio dear Ohio obviously the Public dinners you attend Are not seated affairs which Means people sit wherever they want to. A a. A a a a a a a a a. A. A a. A a up. If you Are unable to arrange in Advance for a Friend to go with you arrive Early enough to mingle with the crowd in Advance of the seating and engage in conversation. You should be Able to find someone who wishes to continue to talk. That person should be your seat mate. A. A  a a a a. A a a. A a a a a a a a a a a Gem of the Day credit readers digest you can make More friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you. Letters to this column should to addressed to Ann Landor co the stars and stripes unit 29480. Apo 09211 c creators Syndicate even if you really Don t care Don t leave Host hanging d p. A to a r by a a a a. To it i my Fly a t a no �4 n i n _ _ it in i a t it.  dear Abby last summer a longtime Friend visited me. She lives across the country and we done to see each other very often so i was delighted to have her As my guest. Each time i asked whether she wanted something to cat or drink a or what she would like to do a she replied a i done to  i wanted to say a i done to care either so please give me a yes or no a a Abby please Tell your readers that if they Are guests in someone a Home or at a gathering and Are offered a Choice it is rude and bothersome to be told a i done to  a Vav / a it leaves the Host in a bind. No one will be offended if you decline nor will anyone think you Are greedy if you accept. Annoyed in Minnesota dear annoyed i am printing your letter because i would estimate that approximately 99 percent of Ray readers have been told a i done to care when they offered a Choice to some one / a a a a a. A i done to care a which is no help at All sounds like response from a shy 8-year-old. To readers of All Ages if you Are old enough to read this when you Are offered a Choice of food drink where to go or what to do please state your preference if you have one. And if you have no preference say a i and delighted -1 to let you make the  tta1 dear Abby you hear so much about adoption these Days a what do fir you think about a a adoption a after the age of 60? a few years ago i met a wonderful woman. She informed me that she had been a widow for a number of years and that she had four daughters 16 grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren. Almost three years after that meeting we decided to get married a if none of her daughters objected. I sat Down with her daughters and talked to them and we finally had their of. Abby the four daughters participated in our Beautiful Church wedding and our first Christmas after our marriage we had dinner at our House for the entire family. Much to my Surprise after the meal i was awarded a dear Abby certificate of adoption by our four Beautiful Daugh ters. A. A. A a a i thank god every Day for this wonderful and Irvint family. I was 64 years old three Days before my  Ray Brown a proud Poppa Griffin a dear or. Brown your four daughters deserve an a a a for originality a and an a plus for their ability to communicate their feelings. ,. May you love and enjoy one another for Many Happy healthy years to come. Your letter is a first a a Fidel a tial to a afraid to try in Arizona As president Theodore Roosevelt said a far bet Ter it is to dare mighty things to win glorious triumphs even though Check ered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the Gray Twilight that know neither Victory nor  or of or ibis column should be addressed to dear Abby do tha and stripes. Ulm 29400 Apo 09211. A 11 c Uri Versai press Syndicate a it a a a a or we . Fit. A it a r x i Call the Usa Only a a a i to a it j t. J a f i l a l a / r v i. Vaz amp .y0 per min a s / is. A 06221-12140/12178 from Germany pm a Ftp flaw Zurich