European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 10, 1977, Darmstadt, Hesse Poge 20 the stars and stripes Friday june 10, 1977a or. Spock Dpi approach to teen age sex by Kay Bartlett associated press he sex revolution is Over says or. Murray Kappelman. And the behave rial paediatrician adds with a serious smile sex has Learly , he tells parents Don t Bury your head like an Ostrich Don t remark at the dinner table How disgraceful it was that so and so became pregnant and Don t Lay a 50s trip on your is a Normal integral part of a teen Ager s life today says Kappelman a 45-year-old father of four who grew up in those Days of Long ago when he was not Al Lowed to see the Moon is Blue because it contained the word any Parent who does t wonder whether two teen agers keeping steady company Are not sexually Active is not living in 1977." such remarks have prompted some irate Telephone Calls to the talk shows where the affable or. Kappelman has appeared to promote his new Book sex and the american Don t you get out of our lives demanded one woman. Replied Kappelman i will As soon As sex others have called to ask where he has been All their Kappelman s Book is rather or. Spock an in its common sense approach. He advises parents to make it Clear that they Don t necessarily condone what their kids Are doing but that they Are prepared to accept it. There is no other Choice he adds. That done Why not talk about it his message for his patients the sexually troubled teens be responsible and be chuckles at his own five word summation i guess that really applies to everything in life does t slender Man with warm eyes Kappelman is fluent in teenage be and a Good listener when a teen Ager comes in complaining of headaches but suffering from acute sexual defines responsibility As responsibility to yourself to your partner and to society. By society however he does not mean the mores of the parents religion or the Community. He Means criminal acts such As rape or incest. Kappelman a professor of paediatrics Lyndi too doctors must now look beyond the genital areas for signs of venereal disease. Youngsters begin experimenting with sexual activity earlier today than they did in the 50s and in More varied ways Kappelman says. A Large number of teen agers Are sexually Active by the Lime they Are 13 or 14, the Early High school years he says. Twenty years ago experimentation began in the late teens. Sure we still find the 11 or 12-year-old girl who is pregnant but that has t changed really. There was always the girl who matured Early and within her cultural background sexual activity began Early. But now the age of if to 14 has reached Down into the Middle Kappelman says this part of the revolution has created More problems for teen agers than in those simple Days when there were Good girls and bad and a lot of the problem has landed on the boys. The teen age boy is in the situation where the teen age girl used la be. He has to learn to say no. In my Day a Young Man could say no by coming up with something Uke i respect you too much with the sexually assertive female and women s lib that won t work. The Young Man now most ask now do Isay no. And u i say no what does that mean about me " Kappelman says the situation is magnified by the dichotomy the Young Man sees Between his female role Model his Mother and her passiveness and the Atti tude of the peer the Young Man s Normal apprehension of Homo sexuality is increased by the pressure. It almost always Only Means one thing the Young Man is not ready. The girl is More mature emotionally and physically than her partner. But it might mean what the Young Man is fearing homosexuality. Kappelman docs not shy away from that. If. After counselling and therapy the Young Man has reached that decision Kappelman will counsel him on that too. That is not always so tells of one Young Man who finally arrived at the conclusion that he was homosexual. He loved his parents and wonted to share that aspect of his Lite with them. He asked Kappelman to help him Tell them. The parents promptly disowned could t convince them that sex was such a Small part of his life that the son they loved was still the same son he relates sadly. Girls also face problems the opposite of the ones the girl of the sos had to face. The pressure from the peer group and the Media to be sexually Active is enormous says Kappelman. And some girls just Aren t ready. Today if a girl is a Virgin and a College freshman she is made to feel she is in need of some kind of therapy. That was just the opposite 20 years is not a big fan of this phenomenon. Each individual must decide for himself when he or she is physically and emotionally ready he says. In practical terms. Kappelman advises parents that communication and a Little acting ability Are the Best assets a Parent can have in these difficult times. He asks parents to remember their last sex conversations with their adolescents. Did they have 10 words for every one of the youngsters did they Harp preach birth control venereal disease alternative sexual Pat terns must All be discussed know is not to encourage he says strongly. Furthermore he advises parents to help the teen Ager or. Murray Kappelman sex is a Normal integral part of a teen Ager s life become aware of the proper techniques of sexual Intima it is a time of Tough decisions lately forbidden May turn the teen Ager off Well before the conversation has began. On the other hand Kappelman supported a Youn woman whose inner responsibility dictated she should remain a Virgin before her , among some he finds a curious combination of sophistication and naivete particularly among girls who got pregnant without realizing the chances they were taking i Don t blame these Young girls. 1 blame society. There is no excuse for this. Aref there is no excuse Tor the attitude of the parents when this happens. It was an Acci Dent. Would they react the same Way if it had been a car Accident Kappelman is enthusiastic about some of the things he sees in today s teen agers. There is less of a hang up about roles he feels and that teen agers recognize therein no such thing As the All boy boy or the All girl girl. Kappelman s own children have never had that role problem. He likes to Garden create Book rugs and Cook his wife is better at diagnosing the ails of the family car. He feels teen agers will never swing Bock to the victorian ethics and thinks they May not be to up tight about their children s sexual behaviour. He says he finds his practice very rewarding reassuring a Young girl that by the time she matures she will Wear her womanhood proudly. Or telling a Young Man there is nothing wrong just because he feels no Earth move when be kisses his girl Friend Good night in a crowded hallway. There is a Little Edge of regret he says. Why Roe and Why not the parents they could answer these questions. And the parents could Nave gone Way up in their esteem. By Erma Bombeck at wits end every age seems to have its Symbol the Stone age the space age the ice age and of course the 1970s the age of the extra crispy. I swear if 1 hear one More commercial where someone bites into a piece of Chicken a Corn Chip or a fish stick and makes a noise like an 85-fool Redwood just fell. I m going to climb a Wall. It has taken me 20 Una Lintung years to get my kids to close their Mouths when they Chew food. Theother night a commercial snowed a Man with Den Tures bits into an Apple so hard i half expected Tosee him dribble Teeth Down his shirt front. As the Apple sloshed and bubbled in his Mouth he opened it to reveal the contents and said ill bet you wish you could do ill say said my son. He meant with false Teeth i said. I d like to do that Wilh any just then another commercial came on of a kid eating breakfast Cereal he trickled a Little milk Over it and i came right out of my chair. I Nave been to quieter wars. I watched mesmerized As a postman walking his beat heard the noise came in and poured himself a bowl. So did a plumber who was working the next town. By the end of the Commer Cial there were about 15 people standing around the Kitchen seeing How they could break one another s eardrums. It bothers me More and More that we measure fresh Ness by the Racket it makes. If a Cracker does t make your ears ring when you snap it forget it. Of a potato Chip does t have you Reading lips get rid of them. If someone snapping a piece of Bacon in your ear does t make your eyes Bug out it la never make it to the table. One night i was watching the tube when a woman with Blue eyes looked straight at me and asked have you listened to your laundry lately she pulled apart a blanked that sounded like a drum Roll. Yes i yelled Back mine said to me just the other Day pick me to Iron pick me " if there s one thing Idon t need it s Static from my laundry. I liked it better when commercials relied on pure ecstasy to sell a product. Remember they used to take a breath mint Roll it around in their Mouth Roll their eyes Back until you could see the Whites and break oat into a smile. That s not enough anymore. Toilet paper has to swoosh. Biscuits Nave to dance and Giggle. Butter has to carry on a conversation. And Colas have to come in Uke the tide at the Bayo Fundy. My kids Are so conditioned by television that the other night one them slipped out into the Kitchen and attacked freshly baked cake. In doing so it slipped off the coun Ter top and crashed to the floor breaking the plate. Out of the darkness i heard a voice say now that s fresh
