European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 29, 1978, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Would like to die9 by George Esper associated press my dad said things to me that hed Proba Bly never said to his son realizing it would be the last he haunt said in 1 love t love your Mother and your brother and i want you to go on doing that with but if i want you to Tell them and Tell them that because Ive never had the my character never really allowed me to directly say that to Bob Corys father died May of cancer of the he was 64 years would like to i have no reason to no my children Ore adults and Able to tote care the the medication tends to make you since i have nothing else to do i sleep most of the Cornelia a 54yearold stutters and her right jaw is she has cancer of the eating is almost her everything has to go through a she recalls the happiest years of her life when f tins pregnant and having she spent much her life in newspaper work and Public f can stand the she but losing the speech is the worst terminal patients like Bob Gerys father and Corne Lia Lively have always had to come to terms with approaching but in the past they and their families were usually left to their own without much sup port in meeting the psychological needs in those final weeks and this is programs of care for the and help for their families Are springing up All Over the United Many Are hospice and one in new was among the he was Bob Gery recalls of his i think almost anybody would be bitter if youre told a year or so after youve retired that you have less than six months to he was he argued with my he argued with with my things that in Normal health would be considered just Small at first 1 kept How could you treat mom like this realizing i was talking from my a healthy in the last couple of when we had the under standing and he had the appreciation of the things told to him by the people at hospice and by there really want any need to do any More the people at hospice were straightforward and told him he was going to die and that How he chose to die Over the next several months depended on him and on what they could do for him if he let he could die with dignity or could die in any other manner he if he wanted to go Back to the Hospital or some extended care they could do he chose to die at i think hospice let myself and my wife and my mom Cope with the grief that we and it gave my dad a feeling of being Able to care for to dictate the circumstances of living out his last several hos pice gave us Hope in a time of no it allowed us to put ourselves All of Sylvia Lack is medical director of hospice of new a Pilot project and demonstration Center for the United states under a contract with the National cancer in the past few she theres been an explosion of interest in death and and this has been marked by a growth of hospice programs in the United More than 80 have been established in More than 30 states in the past three the main concern of a hospice Lack is the management of terminal disease in such a Way that patients live until they that their families live with them As they Are dying and go on living the new Haven program provides care in the Home with regularly scheduled visits to patients during the Day and evening throughout the hospice workers also Are ready Tor emergency Home visits around the seven Days a hospice of new Haven was founded in it has an operating budget of and is financed by third party payments like medicare and medicaid and Cortri buttons from private Busi Nesses and it also receives Federal hospice is pledged to accept patients regardless of their ability to a full time and Par time paid staff of 27 is supplemented by 74 trained who take part in the Home care Reading to taking them shopping or to Beauty even they make it possible for them to Lead As Normal a life As they cases Are referred to hospice by nurses organizations and some families apply for help Cornelia Lively came to new Haven irom she was because she didst know where to go to buy a gift Lor her even if she she  go get it by is something you and i can do says an actress and hospice Volunteer who visited another hospice official was John a minister of the United Church of promised her some work hed bring Over printed materials from hospice for her to people like Shirley and a Boll come to see me every other Lively i feel like in making a Bunch of people Are tuned in on not a Day goes by that someone from hos pice Doest Call on me or come people who care about me besides my three Shirley and Abbott listened As she talked of i feel in in pain i look Forward to but most Are afraid of in the experience the Edward Dobihal president of hospice of new he was one of its founders after he spent Bob Gery credits hospice with giving grieving family some Hope in a time of no hospice in new Haven for the dying and their Fai seven months studying Christophers hospice in More familiarly and freely spoken of these death remains an anxious Dobihal theres con Cern is there something after what is after is this the total end most people dont have a time in their lives when they dont have something else to there Are fears of being Cut off from what they want to maybe the children or the grandchildren Arent quite the age they want them to they like to see someone get married we have and the worry of being Cut off before there reached is part of the fear of As to dying we fear that its going to mean a lot of we fear that Well be a Burden on our and a great fear is dying that we will be aban abandonment Doest mean physical abandon but that people wont be honest with they wont let us talk about the things on our mind because we might upset this kind of these Are some of the worries that hospice workers try to help patients and their families understand and Over but the hospice medical feds theres too much talk about psychological and emotional problems of the dying and too Little about nuking the patient she the terminal stage has been o lined by some As beginning at the moment the doctor says there is nothing More to be done and then begins to withdraw subtly from the of Are very Well aware when this happens there is never a time when nothing More can be there May be nothing More that can be done to cure the but there Are always further measures to be taken for the Comfort of the patient really Good nursing bedside care making sure Page 12 the stars and stripes Jam