European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 29, 1978, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 14 the stars and stripes january Russeli Baker at Miami the car rental company tailed to your car is at the air Laid the computerized woman on the we were at the Railroad i was told a Roan in a red coat would meet me with a car at the Railroad it sounded like explanations you give to policemen who have heard it the computerized woman did not be Lieve in Railroad except As she believed in Stagecoach stops and the your car is at the she she believed in airports As she believed in the Airport was located at a distance of and looked like a drugstore that had gotten out of i have had to pay an extortionist to bring me from the rail Road i told the rental Railroad she caution was in her there Are still Railroad i i was told a Man in a red coat would meet me with a car at the Railroad Sta to establish credibility i showed her the rotes i had made in new York while with the car rental the notes were on red she red she surrendered the car keys intimidated doubt by the sight of my magnificent credit she did not be Lieve in Railroad but she believed in credit All i wanted to Tell her i didst believe in realizing that the situation was thought better of the episode set off a Long period of brooding about what people believed in and didst believe in and How the differences in beliefs led to these systemic it is a fact that car rental companies do not believe in Railroad stations when you Telephone and ask to pick up a car at a Railroad they assume you Are having your Little joke and Well have a Man in a red coat meet you there with a and then arrange to Nave your car at the my problem had Arisen from ignoring my own Lack of Faith in Tollfree Telephone numbers attached to area code it was an area code 100 number that had prom ised the Man in the red and As a non believer in dealing 800 i should have ignored the Promise and taken a at about the same time Jimmy Carter was being badly translated in Warsaw and talking private business into an open microphone in new and both incidents were being extensively reported As the people operating the great engines of communication called the Media believed anything a president did while travelling was whereas these two events confirmed my own belief that a president in global transit is almost utterly incapable of producing any news Worth interrupting a readers Swift passage to the sports the Media can no More imagine a news less president than a car rental com Pany can imagine a Railroad this is because they do not believe in Calvin we should not be too hard on the Media about it hard to believe in Calvin yet Many per sons who find it impossible to believe in Coolidge have no trouble at All believing in i dont believe in the Fonz or Charlies but millions of people obviously it is even harder to believe in policemen with blow dry hair styling who toil in the spaces Between the Fonz and the and sometimes it is harder to be Lieve in Jimmy Carter than in Calvin Coo these people seem to live in area code a place that must look very much like an enormous drugstore under fluorescent sealed off perhaps inside one of Buckminster pullers geodesic everything is up to from Slang to dental on silent winking telephones and dazzling computer data from the outside world flows through to sustain the illusion of Jimmy trip Socko in floppy in West soap takes 42 percent of inks million i dont know where area code 800 is to it probably floats at very High Alti tude Between Kansas City and wherever it everything there is new until it is three weeks at which time it is officially declared never to have nobody believes any More in the new the new or the new journal and everybody now talks about the new once in a while a phone blinks and it is some joker trying to rent a car at a rail Road the talk Between dispatchers must be like this a Railroad station maybe i should ask him if hed prefer a suite on the the system Doest like give the customer what he the old Manith Redcoat arrangement and be certain his cars ready at the Airport when he gets off the Art Buchwald Washington its Tough to be a Kab agent in mainly be cause the Home office has no idea what youre talking about 1 happened to be outside a Public Tele phone Booth the other morning when i heard a soviet secret agent make a person to person Call to is speaking from Public Telephone Booth Are you ready for my report big news in washing ton this George coach of Washington redskins football has been what do you mean have i been drinking is All business in washing ton has stopped until president Edward Bennett Williams finds new Carter is still president of the United Williams is president of which most people in washing ton think is More important in not making this a the newspapers have been full of the to stations have taken off regular pro to put on special stories about no one in Washington is working be cause there All talking about you want More a George Allen had been coach of redskins for seven he has new yes but he letters to the editor in defense of Hobo Jungle in a recent Issue of your paper you printed an article in the daily Magazine named Hobo Jungle under Park though in not a person who usually rebuts an i found this article worthy of i can understand the con Cern that the author has for these people who live under the streets of new but i am fairly certain that there Proba Bly More Content with their existence than either you or the article refers to the quarters As rat infested and cockroach the cock Roach is a common household pet in new if you Check the housing of the lower working classes in new York in sure that you Wil Flod More than the Afore mentioned rats and these people Are trying to keep them selves and their individual caves to get to the i believe that due to the authors thoroughness on reporting on How terrible the conditions a great amount of attention will bestowed upon these attention is obviously what these people desire the Why Ewe would live in such re Cluse when these people Are moved out and they will be either by police or where will they be housed the had at least hot nmn tag not to mention a stove and the which int too indeed i wish i could have such a they need Only enough Money to buy let me Date some mentioned articles and the mention of alcohol was used As a it  have How much alcohol do you consume it you add the people and Divide wine bottles in sure that the percentage is about c Bride Nock Italy thefts of cigarettes Are lauded wont sign new Why wont be sign new contract because he wants to be coach of another football team in califor you must believe Ever since the firing i Haven heard a word about the Middle East the South korean scandal in or the Panama canal this town has priorities and no one Wio do a thing until they know who the new redskins Leader will Why is this important to the Kremlin ill Teu you because Allen has left behind a team of wounded football players and no draft i said no draft choir make sure you get this Correct the redskins have no draft choices until will you please wait the army does not have a that is but the National football league still Allen gave up his draft choices because he said there was no to a recent Story in the stars and stripes reported that a total of Cartons of cigarettes were stolen from the rams Teui commissary quite there have been two other breaking at the Ramsten commissary warehouse and one at the Sembach air base commissary in which More than Cartons of cigarettes have been what is my reaction wonderful cigarettes should not be sold at commissaries if people want to commit suicide and stink up themselves and their let them do so at their own not at the taxpayers those thieves dedicated to the cause of stealing Cartons King of clubs in the last four Calendar years we have served in approximately two dozen duty we have also visited clubs in Many this letter is written to com mend one of these the Kitzinger offi cers club the King of this is the Best operation we have food is surpassed by the service the atmosphere is most As is the management and there is a full Agenda of a of this is accomplished in a comparatively Small Community and Small please make Public our evaluation of Well thank u Aad Robert Martin Germany of Are actually doing smokers and nonsmokers alike an excellent serv ice a nicotine fit never Hurt anybody and nonsmokers dont mind it at How Many More such breaking will it take before the government ceases to sell cigarettes in commissaries keep up you Good Califano in behind you All the Way Rosenberg sch Frisch Germany pen pals i would ilk Mma pan German Langu aaa Malar Patar pm Hansn yttrium it Stu Sarmany wants letters in Carman in Arlun who ilk to Hilt Atn i can Raad a Wilt to Plata writ to in i oar m Antiwar a thank Kun Flamur  Paula chem  Limik cutting comment i just dont i really Carter proposes to Cut taxes by 25 billion the present military retirement system b costing 10 billion an but it seems that including some very High powered military want the present retirement system changed because it costs too i really dont Thomas a Blocker Sao Italy finding friends and str Len Art no a Catunis a a Lulal Man a of Parlman x Ratanu Arma t w Dow Lay in an Anda Diamant b tack diff my tar Rapaj unitary tit to Tun Tat Apo Marumi and Patach it mhb4iu news Kumaus dont hang up on oper i was Cut off from Kab Headquarters in soviet never if people in dont understand what is happening in How can i explain it to Moscow us  u  and Fin Ian in Amrai i of Imp Many m Hora m May akm Mai note mar to pro Tad in your Nama Par m mat Una Mia Mao Garry Ana Sandl inn thank try Nar Marg Cottam Starl