European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 1, 1978, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes Friday september 1, 1978 Jimmy Breslin dear Tann Landers i new York throughout his career As a criminal lawyer and in his personal life Klein the lawyer has lived by the theory there is Only thing worse than telling a Bald faced lie and that is telling too much of the , Klein can be found wavering along the tiny path Between honesty and Klein everything is shaded and indecisive so that one can never Nail Klein on a outright falsehood. I always leave room for the supreme court he other night however he departed from his format and it led him into the worst prob Lem he has had since the last one. It All began Many Miles away from Klein on the new Jersey Shore where a business Man from Klein s Home territory in new Orkwas vacationing. The busness Sman happened into a bar and met a woman and had a few drinks with her and the drinks led happily into his presence in the woman s after Midnight there was the sound of a car parking outside the House. The woman stirred. That must be my she did t Tell me at the bar that you had a husband the businessman like i have one now. And a whole Day ahead of time she this occurrence is one of the most ancient on Earth the businessman s response was equally old he went out the window with out his clothes. Soon tramping about the streets in his Bare skin he attracted the police who arrested him for Public lewdness. Atthe police station wrapped in a Blanket he called Klein the Call could not have come at a better time for Klein the lawyer. He was sitting in place on Long Island telling a much younger woman named Squirrel that he loved he took the Call he told the Man in Jer sey ill have to come Down right s Only a minor thing. Could t you just recommend somebody Down Here for me the businessman in Jersey , this one requires All my Klein Klein came Back to the bar he asked Squirrel if she would like to spend a couple of Days at the Jersey seashore with you married she asked. Never Klein better Tell me she said. I Don t like being lied to. I got Boyfriend trouble and if i going to take a Chance i want to make sure i m not doing it with some Guy who s already be been a Bachelor All my Klein never considered any of his ways of shading the facts the married not work ing at it answer the mentally disturbed wife the impending divorce. He just told Squirrel a straight lie. This disturbed Klein not Smuch As the idea of losing the Chance to go away with went Home and told his wife Rosalie that he would have to. Go away to Jersey Fortis dramatic Case. When Rosalie said she wanted to go with him Klein the lawyer said no that it was such a dangerous matter with Freedom of an innocent Man involved that he had to be alone to concentrate fully the next morning he took his wife s car which was in perfect shape the better to impress a Girlfriend and drove Over to pick up car is this Squirrel said suspiciously. You never had this car s my Good one Klein the lawyer said. As Squirrel slipped into the car Klein Felt Only one thing pulsating from the Young Wom an " eminent death. But he liked her so much and she was so Young and made him feel so heroic that he was ready to risk any thing to be with the Motel in Jersey Squirrel unpacking Klein the lawyer s suitcase became suspicious. Who packed this for you she said. I did Klein a woman can pack a bag this Good Squirrel said. Are you sure you re not lying Tome i m a Bachelor Klein said. You better be. You made a lot of promises to me and a married Guy can t keep them Squirrel then went to work on the business Man s Case. The Klein defense was cent Redon the word Klein said that his Cli ent s intent was not to run about naked an thus be lewd in Public the True intent was preservation of life and limb. Klein won therase in an hour. On the Way out of the court room he called his wife in new York and told her the judge is giving us a bad time of it. I might be stuck Here Klein Hung up and he and Squirrel started on two Days of love and Sun and cocktails. An then after several drinks late on the second Day they departed for new York. Klein had the music on and was slapping the steering wheel in time to it whistling rocking his head pecking Squirrel on her Cheek and All the time keeping his foot Flat on the Gas Ped Al. The squad car finally caught up with him and had him pull Over in the policeman looked at Klein s registration he found that it did not match the a Small problem he said to Klein the i talk to you Klein said. He slipped out of the car leaving his Wallet on the dash Board and said in a soft voice to the cop it s my wife s ," said the cop. He stepped up to the car. Klein slipped into Shock. If you la jus show me your registration please he said to Good is mine she said. He said it s his wife s car the cop looked the car Over. Nice car too. The wife always gets the Best does t she i Don t have the registration with me Squirrel said. She looked past the cop an smiled sweetly at Klein. I think i left it on the Kitchen counter again sweetheart she remained Ashen As Squirrel picked up his Wallet on the dashboard went through i for Klein s Home number and then Slid out of the car and strolled to a pay phone on the Side think i d better Call Home and remind the maid to put the registration away for Safe keeping Squirrel the years Klein had been involved in or attendant at Many proceedings involving angry females. He thought he had seen All ways in which they could Hurt men. In All his experience however Klein never saw anyone who could do it As Well As Squirrel. With Klein standing alongside attending his own execution Squirrel told Klein the lawyer s wife Rosalie All that had happened in the Pas three Days. Told it in specific details thus highlighting the truth. Squirrel then Hung up picked up the phone again and called a cab for cop began to stutter and shift his feet about. He finally handed Klein Back his License and registration and said that Klein could leave. You re in enough trouble. Just Don t Speed from Here on he said. When Klein got Back to Queens he sat atthe bar in deep depression. He drank for some time and then he came to the Point where one drink pushes you out of the sewer and gets the Chest up on the sidewalk and then another drink lifts you completely out of the Hole and leaves you standing in d it go in Jersey somebody asked ," Klein said. I won two cases. One for Public lewdness and a real bad Speed ing Case he was not sure if he had lost one wife or not so he did t mention that. He was Back where he belonged easing the truth. C Chicago Tribune new York news Syndicate across 1 ancient Gold Coin f word with roaring 9 Marsh 12 unaccompanied 13 poetic preposition 14 Gabor 15 Carlo 1c sacred place 18 French poet 29 famous Nathan 21 finnish port 23 actor Mineo 24 refuges 25 cripple27 adolescents 29 compose write Slu keeled is navigation termj7 aphrodite s son St accessible 41 employ 43 those in 56 kind of office 44 relative of amaryllis 45 author Lyndgren 47 Elizabeth Browning 49 operatic solos 52 a wonder Ful life 53 loser to Spinks 54 Arabia 55 head of the Fairway Soldier 57 american philosopher Down 1 Block i worker s org. 3 not empty 4 con 5 Virginia and fishing i repair a shoe 7 Shah s realm 8 female Swan � greek letters average solution tune 25 my. 10 Small egg 11 sports 17 pure 19 More recent 21 Marie s Friend 22 prohibit 24 bump log 2 less harsh 28 artist Max 38 play with 32 element 33 word with Short or Long m curve 3 Texas City m practice 39 winged 40 my my. M answer to yesterday s Punk. Vian 42 wipe oat 45gudrun s husband 41 biblical name to time so Nabokov opus a Cardinal for one dear Ann Landers i m a Vic Tim of multiple sclerosis and have been for 25 years. I have raised two children and functioned in every Way Normal women do. It is not easy to fight . But an even tougher Battle is get Ting a i fill out an application and see the part of the form that says medical history my heart sinks. I know . Will count against me. I was a Secre tary for a publishing House now i can do Only Light office work in my Home town because cannot travel Long distances. Surely there Are some Compa Nies who will hire us. I speak not Only for myself for All Handi capped people. We need to work for morale purposes As Well As for the . Of Smithtown . Dear . Statistics show handicapped employees Are More dependable More conscientious and Are absent from work less frequently than others handicapped employees Al most always improve morale in crease productivity and inspire admiration in their fellow employees. Your Best is to Checkwith the nearest rehabilitation Institute and ask them to help place you. Most rehabs do an effective Job in this can also Contact the multiple sclerosis society at 205 east42nd Street ., . 10017 or a local . Chapter in your City. While the society is not in a position to provide jobs it can make referrals to the local office of vocational rehabilitation Good Luck to you dear. And please let me know How you come out. Dear Ann Landers you goofed. Why should the Mother of the Bride Send notes to friends and relatives to let them know Mary received their wedding gifts arid checks it s nonsense for a Mother to take an adult daughter off the Hook. If a girl is old enough to get married she should be old enough to write a d like to suggest that Mother get off daughter s Back and Stop reminding her As if she were a Small child. If another Friend correlative asks Mary s Mother if their gift or Check was receive she should reply you la have to ask Many mothers accept guilt that does not belong to them. Thesis Mary s problem and she should be made to Deal with there dear . Sorry i still think i m right. Mary s Mother is not taking her daughter off the is merely Noti Yingying the senders that their gifts have Bee received so they can Stop won Dering and pay their Bills. The Slob still has the obligation of saying thank dear Ann Landers anyone who attempts to get chewing gum out of hair with gasoline has Gotto be crazy. A salad or cooking Oil will do the trick even if the kid has slept on it All night. I know because i be used it Many times and it Forks . Dear grand at least 500 peo ple wrote to Tell me about this neat trick and i admit it was news to me. My Mother used to use scissors another suggestion from 1600 Pennsylvania ave., Washington . Try Peanut butter c j978 Field enterprises inc
