European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 15, 1978, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Friday september 15, 1978 the stars and stripes Page 11 Art Buchwald Washington i stepped on a Tennis Ball this summer while running for another Ball. I would t mention it except that time Magazine did a piece on people Over 40 who still think they Are youngsters when it comes to sports. They ran a picture of me in a leg cast i had a badly sprained an Kle and they called me a Klutz which Means a Klunk who does t know what he s doing. Naturally i was offended because How Ard Cosell has said on Many occasions that my performance on a Tennis court could Only be compared to Nureyev s on a Ballet  problem with having any kind of sports injury when you re Over 40 is not what it does to your body or even to your Pride. It s the flax you have to take from Well meaning people who keep asking you what happened. Since i was in the cast for six weeks i was Able to break these people Down into  the first category were those who demanded to know Why i stepped on the ten Nis Ball. My Stock answer for them was i always wanted to do it but i never had the nerve. It beats the hell out of ballooning because when you re flying through the air the s tors and fun european edition col. Billy e. Spangler Usa editor in chief it. Col. . Taylor Usan Deputy editor in chief Mert Proctor managing editor Elmer d. Frank production manager henrys. Epstein circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for . Armed forces overseas. The stars and stripes is published in conjunction with the armed forces information program of the department of defense. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official View of the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. 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You have a Complete sense of  the second category of sympathizers i ran into would ask Why did t you move the extra Tennis Ball off the court before you started playing?." because that would have taken the fun out of the game i would reply. The thrill of Tennis is to get the Ball Back without stepping on the one you left on the  i said this with so much conviction that most people would reply i did t know  of course. Why do you think you play with three Tennis balls you need two to serve with and one to leave on the court so you can trip Over  the real agony of going in a cast is that you have to listen to everyone else s cast Story. I Don t believe i ran into one person who had t been in a cast at one time or an other. And when you re on crutches it s very hard to move away when someone starts telling you his or her own tale. They were All horror stories and ranged from the fact that their Bones had t been set right and had to be set again to How they were driven up the Wall when their injured leg starting itching and they had to poke knitting Needles Down the cast to get Relief. The worst thing one lady told me is that when they take the cast off and you see what your leg looks like most people  after a while i realized that people were not impressed with How i was injured so i devised a Story which would get their at Tention. When asked what happened i would say it s very Boring but if you re really interested i was on a Tennis court and suddenly this flying Saucer landed by the net and a Little Green Man got out wielding a laser pistol. He said take me to your Leader i did t know who to take him to so he shot me in the  you would think that your own orthopaedic surgeon would have sympathy for some one Over 40 who had suffered a sports in jury. But when i returned to Washington and went to my doctor to have the cast re moved he took one look at my leg and All he said was did you have a Nice sum Mer c 1978, los Angeles times Syndicate . Gas station attendant followed orders to the to shirt Asheboro . Up service Sta Tion attendant Orlando Mclntosh had no doubt what to do when a Man walked into his station. He followed the instructions printed on the Man s to shirt. The shirt said stick pm up which Mclntosh did handing Over $454 to the ban Dit who carried a .22 Caliper handgun. The robber was last seen fleeing toward nearby interstate 85. Letters to the editor Money management is urged Gallons of Printer s Ink have been spilled recently Over the plight of lower ranking no command sponsored couples and families living on the German Economy. Most of these horror stories Center around the fact that spec. 4 and mrs. Joe Dokes can t maintain the Standard of Liv ing to which they would like to become accustomed and which the military would like to think that its members Are enjoy ing. From my own experience As a Young private on the Economy and also from the e-4 s and below that i know now who Are on the Economy i believe that about 90 per cent of the financial problems encountered by people and families in general Are the result of poor Money management. The Adverse Exchange rate inflation and the Trade deficit Are admittedly unfortunate circumstances but it is How an individual deals with these problems that makes the difference. The first step is learning to separate i need from i  we need food cloth ing and shelter. We May want Quad stereo or a week in Garmisch but a Wise person will decide whether or not it is Worth the  the need want distinction has been established a person must determine what Standard of living they can comfortably maintain on their income. If a car television vacation or whatever does t fit do without. It s just that simple. If. The rent is too High move into a cheap or place if possible. Ride a bicycle or pub Lic transportation or ride with someone instead of having a car. With a Little imagination and endurance there Are Many alternatives to things that can become Finan Cial liabilities. Finally i strongly suggest the usar eur develop a budget counselling Finan Cial planning course to be Given at the same time As head Start and race relations As part of the program for newly arrived personnel. Attendance should be mandatory for everyone from the commander in chief Usa eur on Down. I be known several officers and senior no s who would have benefited from financial counselling just As much As the lower rank. There is no reason Why an american Serviceman or woman and their family should have to live like or take on the appearance of living like paupers. The military pays a living wage. All it takes is a Little planning and a certain amount of fortitude and living cheap can be living Good. I know this for a fact be cause on our first tour in Germany my wife and i lived on the Economy in a suburb of Heidelberg on a net income of $350 per month. We travelled ate out and shopped quite a bit on the Economy As Well As making quite a few friends among the germans that we lived near. True this was in the Days of four Marks to the Dollar but it was also before Cost of living allowance station housing and it was definitely Back in the time of if the army wanted you to have a wife you would have been issued  in spite of everything it was one of the most rewarding times of our lives. Spec. 5 Mike shiners Hanau Germany president supported on pay hike president Carter has taken an apparently firm stand on the october pay increase for military and Federal civilian personnel deciding to limit this year s raise to 5.5 percent. Most of us in uniform Are probably upset by the president s action feeling that this is but one More example of eroding Bene fits one More broken Promise which we military personal have seen in recent years. The majority of us probably applaud the move by representative Herbert Harris d-va., to overturn the president s proposal and Grant instead the 8.4 percent raise recommended by a presidential advisory commission. In a sense the president s action seems arbitrary unfair and discriminatory since a government Survey shows that wages in the private sector went up 7.8 per cent this past year. I for one however am willing to accept the reduced pay increase if it will help to heal the nation s economic wounds and if similar curbs Are applied to workers outside the Federal government. If this move by the president cause la Bor unions and businesses to show similar restraint then the nation and therefore each of us in the Long run will be the better for it. If voluntary restraint is not shown in the private sector then like it or not pres ident Carter should seek mandatory wage controls. That would perhaps not be politically expedient but it s the Only fair thing for him to do having embarked on this present course by curbing Federal hikes. It. Col. Edward r. Carwise in Ciurlik Turkey m with Home delivery take advantage of the stars & stripes Home delivery service in most government housing areas. Delivered to your Mailbox daily for $4.50 a month. Accept my subscription to stors & stripes name please prin1 Street bldg no Telephone no 1 will pay the Home delivery Carrier when he comes 10 collect City Apt no housing area please Complete this form and mail to stars & stripes Apo 09175 attn sales promotion