European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 20, 1981, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 january 1981 Russell Baker new York not in our third year of my wife telephoned to ask if i would like to meet i did not want to meet her or anyone it had been seven years since i had met anybody at though i had recently thought it might do me Good to meet somebody if Only to Sec whether people still looked the Way they used to i did not want to Start by meeting my one of the advantages of electronic living was that you never had to meet your the Man who installed my computer and television cables had harped on one of its big he is that youll never have to meet your at the of did not intend to i changed my mind Only after setting up my tax picture in the computer and discovering that a wife of a certain income profile would Cut my tax Bill by nearly 2 it was a simple matter to plug into the Cen trial information obtain the names of several thousand single women in the same tax predicament for a Small have the engagement and marriage arranged by the the ceremony was performed by a minister of the ecumenical computer Church while i was Reading the sports news in the electronic newspaper on my video terminal in new and my who lives in was monitoring a Phil Donahue interview with three Well adjusted transsexuals on her Cable at the appropriate moment i punched i do and i will into my switched into Check account shopping Mode and or dered my Bank to authorize an Oregon jeweler to deliver her a wedding it was exhilarating being to Cele i put on a video cassette of the super bowl game of 1995 and spent half the night watching the Chattanooga data trounce the Fargo inputs by a score of 35 to after that i forgot about being except at tax when it was highly it was a Surprise when she Tele phoned to propose a i should Point out that i did not answer the phone i had not answered a Telephone for i had a machine that not Only an swered for me but also made Calls for my speaking in a voice entirely unlike my said i am very Busy scanning my display terminal to select a meal to be delivered to my food Slot so that i will not have to be interrupted while watching the Cricket test match from Pakistan on my Cable television during the please state your message at the sound of the and my machine will process your on this evening the machine your wife has telephoned to ask if you would like to meet Tell i told the i have not met anybody in seven years and do not propose to Start while the machine was transmitting the noise at the door indicated that the Central restaurant Bank was having my Din Ner delivered at the food since the restau rant Bank had not yet replaced All its delivery people with i waited a Safe interval before opening the so As not to risk catch ing a glimpse of a human this irritated my Telephone you May not want to see a human said the but id like once in a i you see me 24 hours a Kumph to out Cigar most Mike people ought to see ought to talk to said the if god had meant people to see he have created electronic i if god wanted people to talk to he have Given us the Telephone answering i went to the Slot to collect my in Stead of a i found a Small electronic i they have finally succeeded in inventing the electronic this ought to teach the beef Trust a Little i put my computer in dining in stantly the to set activated a video cassette of a 1968 tape of Bowling for dollars and presented me with a Fork and a Steak the Small electronic device spoke do not carve it kiss i am your and i am dying for at the sound of the place your computer inoculation Mode and activate my input key by framing your lips in the pursed it was my Telephone machine that dont waste your it that Bird has been dead for it uttered a highly suggestive my wife beeped my wife but i was married to a tax not to a flirting or was i it had been so Long since i had met i thought of going to the raising the but i it is better not to know some i sat Back to enjoy Bowling for the Telephone machine if youd turn off that machines could have a Little privacy around i turned it off and sat in the the beeping became new qualifying Factor added to spa awards new York up the presidents sports Council has added fitness As a new qualifying Factor for men and women to earn a presidential Patch and pin for participation in 43 sports Richard Proctor of one of the nations figure control chains for speaking for the said he will tour the country to advise those interested How they can earn spa awards through i Salon programs As Well As sports Proctor said people participating in both exercise and Standard sports programs can qualify for the across Dull 5 oscillate 8 facts 12 wander 13 Constellation 14 surrounded by 15 employer 16 style of Type 18 mutilated a text 20 21 Dawn goddess 22 new Guinea port 23 the Core 26 some Are precious 30 Money of account 31 sense Organ 32 corded fabric 33 Babylon Are famous 36 Spaghetti or Macaroni 38 miscellany 39 chess pieces 40 jerseys Bell town 43 certain re pair shops 47 rinsing the Throat 49 lavish excess affection 50 Coin of Moroco 51 operated 52 Black 53 Auk Genus 54 one time 55 aromatic Herb Down 1 narcotic preparation 2 artist Bonheur 3 affirm 4 Hamiti dialect 5 salary 6 arum Plant 22 malay Gibbon 23 a Swine 24 women lib wants it 25 Swiss River 26 Hydrogen s Cro to the lepers 9 malay nervous seizure 10 prong 11 appends 17 jewish month 19 Fate solution time 24 120 answer to yesterdays 7 Pike like fish 27 bitter vetch 8 missionary 28 asian festival 29 belgian health resort 31 Alfonsos Queen 34 hang loosely 35 chemical ending 36 through 37 Garland poetic 39 cum laude 40 site of the Taj mahal 41 the Irish lower House 42 Inland sea 43 picnic pest 44 Large desert 45 harrows rival 46 dispatched 48 Levin or Gershwin Onn tenders dear Ann Landers my Hus band and i Are our talented Daugh age just informed us that she does not want to go to she prefers to go right into life whatever that in her College is a cop out unless you plan to be a doctor or Mary Ellen is a Good student and has a Lovely singing she also plays the her music teacher believes she is conservatory and we have the Money to Send is a Whiz of math and has shown interest in the business in Tucson dear Tucson a College Educa Tion is privilege and an expensive one at that if your daughter views it As let her perhaps after a year or two of knocking around in the real world she might decide you were let her know she can change her mind and no one will i told you dear Ann Landers because you Are who you your chances of getting an answer from officials in the boy scouts and girl scouts Are pretty please recently both organizations changed the style of their uni for some silly reason they decided to have Halston design the ones for brownies and girl they chose Oscar de la Renta for the cubs and boy would you believe a cub scouts shirt now costs the pants Cost these kids must be in surely the executives in scouting realize that Many children cant pay such i am mildy boy scouts Are a godsend for my Young he has been Able to go places and learn things i never could have taught we Are on a fixed and its All we can do to scrape up the Money for scout dues and troop now Here is this for a new Why do they put scout ing out of reach for so Many Chil Dren Illinois Parent dear Parent Here Are the according to Ryan at the Chicago area boy scout the uniforms Are indeed designed by Oscar de i the shirts Cost the pants Cost uniforms can some times be picked up for much less at Good will or other resale Many troops have their own recycling service where the outgrown uniforms Are passed Down to the smaller according to Kathleen smythe at the Chicago girl scout coun Halston designed a uniform for the the senior scouts and cadets designed their own uniform this the younger scouts uniform has not been changed for five a Brownie uniform costs Blouse and the scout uniform is and the new senior scout uniform is patterns and material Are available for mothers or fathers who would like to make the Good will periodically sends uniforms to the which distributes some troops do not use the uniform but dress in the Sarc color skirts and blouses and Wear the scout it is not necessary to have a uniform to participate in
