European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 11, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns double vision by Peter it want a dark and Stormy flight by John Windrow staff columnist we were standing in the Middle of an enormous one of there were thousands of people zipping past going All directions at it reminded me of general quarters on an aircraft i looked at the old Man and he looked at we were lost in the Atlanta he had Milky eyes and his hands Shook just a Little when i he said in a quiet whiskey i dont know if in going to heaven or to he paused and looked about at the scurrying but i do know ill have to change flights in he was trying to get to i was looking for the plane to we had chatted for a moment like strangers especially when there both but it was obvious that we must part if we were to get where we were trying to he pointed a shaky Finger toward the sign for concourse i reckon ill Whiz on Over he he took two Steps and stopped to look around dont Hurt yourself i he the girls used to Call me he so slow but so devastating once i got a Man in a red Blazer got me on the Correct it was longer than the people at the other end looked like a woman soothing voice gave directions while i glided Down toward a Blue there Are three ways you May reach your she i thought she must be the moving the automatic train cars or you May walk i you think Atlanta went to All this trouble for me to walk once i was locked in the automatic behind the automatic the pretty woman voice went a robot voice from Mars told me the told me to stay away from the automatic to stand in the Middle of the to watch my i  help but notice that i had seen no no not even a Greasy they could keep me Here i was i dont think that automatic robot likes where the lady go i reached the Correct counter with barely enough i handed Over my ticket three minutes before the plane was supposed to take were running the clerk smiled a worried were running extra Security checks because of the trouble in the people behind me were groaning and cursing because of the you Tell pm to take their own Sweet i gave her a Ive got this irrational fear of turbans and Kalashnikov she seemed pleased with where would you like to sir i one place is pretty much like Long As its inside the she smiled this is i she likes in Gonna get a window i never get a window i always end up in the very Middle Between a crying baby and a drunk in a Leisure suit who claims to have poked cows with lbs she gave me a window we didst take off for another i spent most of that time watching a Young Man out on the Tarmac who bore a distinct resemblance to mighty Joe he was flinging Luggage about and pounding it into place on a Wagon with his it looked like hot we were airborne before i realized that the Little Angel at the counter had put me in first a very prosperous Man who looked As if he belonged in first class was standing in the aisle talking to an equally important looking they overbooked the bloody he they always blame it on Security whenever they screw they were they were faced with arriving at Frankfurt at 9 instead of Frankfurt could i was too Busy looking through the Dandy Little travel kit the stewardess had Given it had fancy tooth a snap together tooth a comb and furry Little foot slippers so i could take off my shoes and pad about the there was shaving Cream and a razor in Case i was a and face a Nail file and one of the those ritzy Eye covers like the movie stars Wear in Case i was a and free there could Only be one thing i told a cheerful lady from Ethiopia who had been bumped up into first class and was sitting next to i just might open up my newspaper and find an article about a doctor who says whiskey is Good for there was nothing like that in the but i got a slipped on my furry foot covers that said Delta in Gold letters across the toes and ambled around so everyone could see i was first i gave the lady from Ethiopia my window she was when i woke up we were Landing in How can a world As messed up As ours sometimes run so smoothly that any fool can find his Way across the Atlantic Ocean in just a few hours july stripes Magazine