European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 06, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Arm Landers Friday september 6. 1985 the stars and stripes Page 11 dear Ann Landers please print thin Letler. There Are so Many people who need to see it. I am the Mother of four a Wiful healthy daughters. I could t be happier or More proud. When i be came pregnant with my fourth child nearly every person i met said trying for the boy i  i love children and i m a Good Mother. I never cared if i had a boy or a girl. Only an idiot would have a baby just because she wanted one Sei or another. I could barely remain civil when some insensitive clod said in front of the girls maybe four will be a Charm. Hope you get that boy it made the girls feel As if they had been a disappointment. Nothing could be further from the truth. After my fourth daughter was born the comments from my friends made me furious. Their Calls sounded More like Condo Lences than congratulations. I was amazed at the number of ignoramuses who asked Are you going to try again to All you idiots my husband and i Are thrilled to have four Beautiful healthy Chil Dren and we Don t care what sex they Are. If you can t share in our Joy please keep your Mouth shut. All girls and we re thrilled dear thrilled my Mother had four girls and told us repeatedly that she never hoped for a boy. In fact she regretted not Baring had a couple More girls. There s an old saying a son is a son till he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter nil of her  Many readers he written to my this is True. Dear Ann Landers two years ago my father died a slow miserable death from alcoholism. I feel guilty because i fill no remorse when he died. Not Only was he an embarrassment to me but he had become very abusive to mom. I began seeing a Man who was very much like my father. He looked like him had. A Way of intimidating people and at the same time was totally charming. The Man John x., was married. He kept say ing he loved me that he wanted to leave his wife and marry me but he could t Bear to lose his Little boy. He begged me to be patient and prom ised that everything would work out Fine. Well what worked out is that i got pregnant and so did his wife. 1 was desperate. Eighteen years old and pregnant so i went to bed with another Guy told him i was pregnant later and that the baby was his. I married the fellow to save face. It was Only supposed to be temporary but now i Hope it lasts 60 years. He is a dream come True Sweet sensitive helpful Loving and everything i Don t deserve. The baby looks so much like her father it kills me because i m still torching for John. I want to see him and can t seem to talk myself out of it. 1 know How Lucky. I am to have such a great husband. So Why can t 1 let go i can t talk to anyone i know about this and i can t afford a psychiatrist. My Hus band is too Good a Man to Hurt. I need to Clear my head of a lot. Of guilt. What shall i do7 this in t a made up letter. It s my life. Tallahassee dear tall talk to Clergyman or a Counselor. Abo there Are mental health professionals available at reasonable rates. Family serv ices b excellent. Look in the phone Book please get Tome help before you Loose up Yoor use. Your daddy problem is still unresolved. Flea for All military members to work in Harmony so often we arc pelted with ideas of leadership by people so far up the Chain of command that most would consider them  for years i be waited to hear something from the Guy holding the  unfortunately most Guys in that position Aren t Well acquainted with ways to air their views. I be been a lot of places and broken bread with a lot of people from an air Man Basic to the undersecretary of de sense for research and development. I be tried to find that picture of leadership talked of in speech and manuscript. Generally the picture does not appear so Bright As the sponsor describes it. If i could paint the existing picture As i see it i would use a lot less red indicative of sacrifice which is Seldom found today. I think i d probably throw out the White a sign of purity and honesty which if in existence is in danger of extinction. I d also be a bit More sparing with the  it is indicative of bravery. I think All the bravery went out with the Vietnam and korean Era veterans. I wonder does the general at the Pentagon surrounded by his immense Oak desk consider the consequences of an at tempted operation without infantrymen could he Hope to win a Battle from his desk could the Wing commander Hope to get his planes off the ground without mechanics navigational aids or the Man in the Tower How will the platoon ser Geant in the Field Send radio messages Back to Home base if the private Back at the shop does t Piu inc bries in you see it s not Only the people b the top who Are important. If the Guys at the Bottom of the ladder walk away every one at the lop and in Between will fall. No person is solely important. Each is a Small part of an interdependent network. When one piece fails the whole network suffers. Let s look at the question of responsibility. Who is responsible for what and who Are we responsible to each person is responsible for honestly and faithfully meeting the requirements of his her position to Complete tasks in minimum time and with the Best Quality possible. Each person is also responsible to the rest of the organization. Yes your actions Are open for of is criticism. You arc to ensure your actions project professionalism to the rest of the people in your network. If you think you Are above reproach solely by virtue of your rank or position you represent a poor example of leadership. Leaders must recognize they Are constantly under the watchful Eye of the subordinate and that their actions prompt like reactions from subordinates. Ship Whir. Rank has us privileges rank has its responsibilities. Both Are right but arc not to be distorted. The trouble is some people have the wild idea the privileges Are an unwritten list of illegal and immoral actions when a consultation of the existing dial pays tribute to Rudi Weber Rudi Weber of Kaiserslautern rented the upstairs of his Home to americans for Many years. Besides providing the apartment he and his wife Traudel also served As a sur Rogate family. He would go out of his Way to make his new american friends feel right at Home. If you did t speak German that was of he d teach you. If you were new in the country and did t know about German food he d show you that too. If you did t know about German Beer he d teach you about that first he could drink like a fish and had a pot on him to prove it. If you weren t quite sure you understood what you were doing in Germany he would explain it in such simple terms that it was frightening. Rudi probably understood Why the americans Are Here in Europe better than most of the americans. He used to say if the americans left the russians would come. Maybe not right away but for sure they would  Rudi was t a politician or a fancy Busi Ness executive he was just a factory worker who spent his working hours fixing electric motors. During his free time he would play the lotteries visit friends and drink Beer. To the uninitiated it might seem strange to meet someone who was so pro american. He probably did More to further German american Friendship and understanding than any government Campaign could Ever do. Rudi was a German through and through but he was an american Patriot who could not be swayed. Over the years he rented to soldiers private and sergeants major alike and taught them All about Germany and Ameri Ca. Rudi always dreamed of visiting Ameri Ca. He talked about it As though it were a blessed place. He won t see it though. Rudi Weber died sept. 3 of cancer. He was 49. America has lost a Good Friend. The army has Jost a real trooper. Germany has lost one of its finer citizens. Funeral services will be at the Kaiserslautern cemetery sept. 6. It would be a shame if we did t show him the gratitude he showed us. Spec. 4 de Leifer Pir Masens Germany he chides readers for complaints no bread in the commissary for Over two weeks. No baby wipes on base for Over a month. Paper towels Don t work so Well. No salad dressing for a month and a half. Over two months now still can t get an air filter for a a Beetle probably the most popular american car on base. Locking Gas Cap forget it. These Are just a few of the temporary outages i be been through Here at san Vito As Over the hut 16 months. That is not my reason for writing though. Per pals a attn Luhn. Bowl Loc a Eor Imreh Uiki a Rwy ? re St Sun and Sarlim Ato Ofell i am Virv Inte Ltd in in Vine Fremd from Anolla country. I a attn of. My hobbits a War amino. Danang. Coupling  s. Orc Jua 37 . Qut Loo , mate on i Wiro manna. Pm Mimi i want to make Frondi with of her Pace. I am 30rears do. Hirv i my Idrass. Ood Lla m Sammt Nocona at ene Limimg sideman  Clov pm Seton 4501 i m in the military and i m of amur therefore i Don t expect to have Ery thing i would have in the states. What bothers me is when i Rea 3 letters to the editor from people at some of the Large american base areas in Germany. The Frankfurt Wiesbaden area is More americanized than half of America yet i read complaints of i can t get a joints for my huge american Ford thunderbird in 24 hours or Why in t my base getting a Mcdonald a there s More fait food in downtown Wiesbaden than All of Italy. There is a four month wait for american car parts Here 24 hours you be got to be kidding me. Tivey do have a few filters belts and plugs on base a i m asking is that people Wake up and realize they re overseas. Don t expect the Stales maybe you la enjoy your tour for a change. After All Ftp on your leave and earnings statement stands for foreign  senior Araan Ray v. Ondrejech san Vito As Italy acc tics would show them openly listed and defined. So when the shop Coic invokes his unwritten right to a two hour lunch gets Irra Quick game of racquetball and the engine still is not fixed Why should t the airman report it How about the general s wife who uses a government vehicle to shop Al the Exchange and commissary she is not the one serving in the military. She might endure the  of the life but docs that entitle her to any better treat ment than the airman s wife who sup ports her family on one fifth the income of the general i see the Bottom line As this if we All concentrate on doing the Best Job we can instead of living the dog eat dog existence our armed forces will be the picture of leadership we want them to Secretary Weinberger will not have to hang his head in embarrassment be cause someone did not catch the Over charge for the ashtray. Hell have Good ammunition with which to approach Congress for support of a substantial pay raise we All think we deserve. Take a look Al yourself Sec if you Are the Leader you should be. If you Arent try a change for a Bellcar style. If you Don l want to change get yourself out we Don t need your Type. Staff sri. Dennis u Heath Monte Vergine Italy. Reminder All letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the writer and must be signed. We do not read unsigned letters but we will withhold your name on request and protect your privacy Thust Sand ipes to so european Btu two capt Dale k. Patterson us editor of chef a Matt Jeffrey s. Zak Ftp. Us Deputy editor in chief , Blanc will my Proctor of a my Dumott production Manter managing de. Car Torton manager thai Newi Peper it an but tier liw unofficial Oulu Calfon far member of the my ten in Rake oversee. Conventi of the Slert am Stolon Are not Nec Materoy the Cut a a few or or endorsed by the . , the Depert men def we or Tho . European commend. To appearance of Edverta Irto in shh Puma Lam in blvd Ino intent or ump Zenft. Dots not commute endow men by me department of detente or the Star and sir let m the product or Terv sctt do it Ltd. Every lne advert Lead to  pub Callon thai by made a Attama Tor Pur Crum us or patronage without regard to race color religion. I National Orlton age martial it atut. Not Ileal Handicap to Nical att Lillon or any Ether nor will Factor of the purchaser amt or Patron. Military dirt to the St i Raj sir Lett apr Otill.  null the Start and trip to. Poi Hadi u 10 34, d-4100 Darr Maidl 11, Germany. Try girl to in a. Miss u10 a Darmstadt Ali rep 7371 741, the euro Pean Telephone Sytle ets number Mi-5741. Tetek m it-333. New Yort Kortke room 401, in seventh ave. New York 10001, Teh area code 3 2 470-3333, hews Buh Vau by Buko if Manyi Jean aft Tohl bldg. 101. 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