European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 11, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Wednesday september 11, 1985 the stars and stripes Anri Landers Page 11 letters dear Ann Landers i was interested in a ice Tii tic Iii in Iii paper with com ments from four peo ple. The question would you entrust your aged Parent to a nursing Home All four replied  they would rather take care of an elderly Parent themselves. That item hit me hard. Last year Mother died leaving dad alone. My sister and her husband invited dad to live with them. That lasted three months. He nearly burned the House Down when he fell asleep with a lighted cigarette in his hand. He frequently urinated on the carpets because he could not remember where the bathroom was. When he took a swing at my brother in Law for no apparent reason they checked him into a Hospital for evaluation. The doctors informed us be had alzheimer s disease and the Best place for him was a nursing Home. My Aister and i searched for weeks an finally found a place we thought dad would like. In less than a month we were asked to remove him because he kept wandering out of the building endangering his life. Again we searched. Dad lasted less than48 hours in the second Home. He walked out into the traffic four times. The third borne was clean and Friendly but in a couple of months he landed in the Hospital with a  it turned out nol to be a stroke. He bad been Over medicated. When he was brought Back to the Home he had to be strapped in a wheelchair. Shortly after that he quit eating and lost 60 pounds. In a few months be died. My message is this no one wants to put a Parent in a nursing Home but sometime there is no Choice. I wish people would understand instead of making us feel that Weare selfish and uncaring. I m signing this painful memories deity memories the care of the elderly b one of the principal problems facing us this decade and it promises to get worse. The guilt of Chi feb who Are unable to take parents into their Bones can be overwhelming. So one we hear Why is it that one Parent can take care of seven children but seven children cannot take care of one Parent a great Deal has been written on this subject but the Best Book by far b your aging parents by John Deedy. The an Tor addresses such questions As the Reali ties of widowhood remarriage among the not so Young Kine Aeu and How to Deal with it the hostile Parent guilt trip Alz Heimer s disease financial traps designed to rip off the elderly to to evaluate a nursing Home and finally How to decide whether your Parent belongs in your Bob or elsewhere. Deedy says bringing aged parents tote the Boose has Strong sentimental a peal but the adult child should not be to sentimental or impulsive when making the decision. A father who never got along with us so. To his younger years b nol skely to get along with him when be  the sum goes for bother and daughter Deedy raises such question As How does your so so fed about your Parent moving in is there enough living spacer is to. Be step jag a Orer eath other a Fol the Mote in Rob to of you privacy How will it affect your social de does your aged Parent till of by i As a child who Moat obey a he or she a Coo Taal critic i it Tara to Writt to Newl am Tran Jav nah so Landart May add Stu the win Ai Ura at Amston and so Aptt Apo Oral. U4. Forum reminder a Dettwi to the editor the m pret Mac and address of the frito Rutm.  1 i maimed letter it we a Fol withhold Yew  Ami protect your prime. Government housing problems frustrate wife i m writing with the Hope that you can stand another housing problem letter and that two purposes will be served getting my anger and frustration off my Chest and fore warning families who live on the Economy while patiently awaiting the government quarters of their Choice. The scenario my husband arrived in Germany 14 months ago and after considering the various housing areas in our new Community he chose one most appealing to us and which Best suits our needs. The wait he was told would Leone year. So the search is on for an apartment on the Economy which my husband finds quickly and without much hassle great wife that s me and child arrive happily in september. We live con gently for the next ten months. For our own Best interest my husband makes periodic checks with the housing office. Does it look Good for july be asks. Yes yes is always the reply As he is hurriedly escorted out of the office. They Are always so Busy Over at family hous ing in May we receive a letter projecting housing for us within 90 Days. Do not we Are warned accept housing prior to 30 june or we May experience financial hardship due to our Economy lease. Gee we think Aren t they on the Ball Ever at family housing watching out for our interests and getting our housing on time too according to their instructions we let our German landlord know our intentions of moving. The circumstances arc perfect with him As he is trying to sell the apart ment now anyway. We pay july s rent. We celebrate believing next month we will be in quarters Nice ones no More laundromats no More storing boxes of seasonal items under the Beds and tops of sch ranks a storage room awaits no More driving around and around and sometimes even around again looking for a parking space As we live in a Down town area and parking is a daily Battle for my husband after a Long Day at  son will now be Able to go out and play and make new friends and his Hopes Are set High As Well As our own. Shortly before Independence Day. The air starts slowly leaking out of our Wel come to quarters balloon. A most unusual thing has occurred one that has never happened before is the wording we receive from a family housing official. Due to renovation people extending etc., etc., housing will not be available in july. They will help us in any Way they pen pals i in a Zivota qom to Bart and i would mkt Lowr a and it id know in put titter from America or abroad. My Hobby Art to Orli mute dancing and read Long. Alexandra it ctr . 19 my Mannheim 51 wait germ mtg i am a 17-Vtar-u Tyrl who would Hect to make in Lindl win other Pototo from Olar Pton. Thom Wax Art  Moat Ortto. Jovita m. Uaea Cor. Marl or Tut is. 1 Poknan an. Duma Guam Chr 4ni Nii Points i with Tohff in pan. I am a 11-vmr-Oid to to ratan atm it Ajr Forca. Soma of the thenot i to  try Tovine. By Iwaho. Mohbat. Into tone Pool and Mulno a Good movie.  Goff not to m17 Apo . . Omi2 i m 20 it it old and i want to mat a Lundt abroad. Lunam. Boon Maria cart Tom u. Of Nagum Clov Phlp plact amt Rivait Pumbo my Narra in in pan pal column. I am a Yaar old Gorman Ort i pm writ in German or eng Ltd. My Hobbin Art Mutuc. Dwing and an Small i Aho nut to Drin and Wrim Mian. I would so to Ott mail from around the world. Fraud atm Tan Bonaut Attr. Jam7buchan we Germany Pymm Iii a in your pan pal column. I am 13 a fort old. My Hobby to Art singing a Chang to.  Charity y. Pailk Llo 141 Larana is. Guam own Norann Orton Lal can. They did. We composed a letter to our landlord embarrassing As it was Slat ing a mistake was made and could we please extend our lease one additional month. Being an understanding Man he  week my husband visited family housing on two occasions. Although he was there on different business he made a Point both times to inquire about our place on the housing list. We were num Ber one on the list How did August look August looked Good nothing could go wrong now we thought the moment of truth came at the end of the week in the form of a Telephone Call. Bad news. No housing. No housing projected until october for us. No hous ing projected until october for second Choice either. Reasons the same unsatisfactory ones in my opinion. Solutions not Many. None pleasant to think about and the same we will help you in any Way we  we have the option of once again asking our landlord to postpone his Selling plans and extend ouf lease exposing him to the unflattering fact that american red tape does exist and extends far across the Atlantic. Or we can move into the infamous Tempo Rary quarters with their Miles of hallways your son can ride a bicycle inside As Well As out and the Lovely decorator touch of stalls in the bathrooms. Is there an ending to my Story nol yet but 1 believe there is a lesson to be Learned by All of this. As the moral of the Story goes do not count your chickens before they Are hatched and please even when those eggs seem to be cracking watch out. One May be Rotten ready to attack your senses. Mine sure were. Mary j. Zdyrski Mainz Germany editor s note Hans Joachim Beckhans Deputy director of engineering and housing Mainz military Community replies the Mainz military Community Wel comes the Opportunity to address be writer s comments explain our family housing policies and specifically our efforts to project quarters assignments far enough in Advance to allow Economy residents to fulfil their termination notice require ments to their  regret the Nicony Enonce and the delay the writer experienced in obtaining government family housing. The projection of quarters for the writer was based on confirmed Deros data of current quart ers occupants. In other words when the projection was poll Lupinas i would Tiki pin Pati. My Hobby to Art singing Banc Long and  to Mulc. I am 10 Start. Old. Alman cent Ltd y. Pattilo 141 la Raduj is. Gul human Nutgra Onnatal Phil Montt i would Bui to Corr Pond with pin Pate from All Over. I am 3 Vert old. My to butt Art cooking taking and try Vine. I Tot animate and Refl Nash old i runt. Pm from Arona and am Vine in Maryland a it urn. I Tot to dance and tit Ltd to country Mulc. Alvut m. Gram to Ull St of pm mint sat a taunt. My. 2074 i am 17 Start old and would a to have pm pah. I no Outing dancing and to Dino. Antontta Elo Job Taxon Daub Navrot Ort Neal Shupp Miami i am a 3a-Ytar-Ou Amer can Man who would aka o court Pond with Avont from any country. Ourley Cadiam Iso  no m Houston Tana /704s i am u yarn old and would lot pin Pill my Hobby to Art dancing at the a Loco Attig let Cream in tha Tummer and Many other things. Tilt Mona Mam Shurtl Rutlt 17 4s04  Wittl germ and i am looking for in pah. I am u Star old. 1 not m idol and or tact. Al Nunt Horn  ii thou Dan want germ and made 90 Days in advanced family hous ing vacancy in the writer s preferred hous ing area had been confirmed. However subsequent to the projection changes occurred thai made our projection incorrect. As soon As it was discovered Early jul the writer s sponsor was notified. Rather than accept a family housing unit in another housing area the family s Deci Sion was to remain on the Economy until the next scheduled vacancy in their Bous ing area of Choice which was scheduled for August 1985. A question subsequently sur faced As to whether the occupant of the scheduled August vacancy was actually leaving but As it turned out he writer s family was housed in their Choice of Bous ing areas on aug. 2.please let me add some rather general comments. The family housing Branch makes every Effort to ensure quarters projections Are Correct unfortunately changes primarily changes in Deros data do occur after our projections Are made which Many times Are not reported to  recognize these problems but feel it is far More important to give Economy occupants As much Advance notice As pos sible. This allows them to give their land lords the Correct notice. It Sares them Money and allows for the orderly Termi nation of their Economy quarters. The system is obviously not perfect Kut our experience shows it is accurate oter 99 percent of the , we regret the problems the writer experienced. We pledge to continue our efforts to provide our soldiers and families on the Economy the Advance notice they need to terminate their slay in these quarters in an orderly and Cost effective european Edom cart Dalk k. P att i i of us editor in chm Cmor Jeffrit s. Zakim. Us off put editor in chief . Blac Kwau. M. Pro com do. Cof Lamott production manager managing a. Is ecu Kwi Musi Par the Newi Pader it an Tuth Orlito unofficial put Talton for member of hit Mhz tar mrs let Over Teet Content of the Start and strip Are nol Neces Tarlov a official it two of. Or endorsed by the . Government the department of deem or the i. European command. The appearance of advert Lintt in in Outt Catlan. Indus Rrth Inte rtt of Tupot Emeri does not constitute Endri a of by the depart men at of Fem or the Start and url pm of me prod Ucli or Terket advertised. Everything  in my pub Catton thai be made vat Ewe for Purchase us or my Rondo writ out regard to race Cotar religion sex National own leg martial status pvt Cal Handke to flt Elf Walton or am other no Merll Factor of me purchaser user or Patron. Military Ede the stars and is Ripe Apo will. International a the Start and sir let Polf Chi ii w a d-1m Darmstadt 11, Germany. Sefc Orhn Palm cry. 0155 us or. Darmstadt Airstrip 7374 741. The euro Pean Tete Onona system ets number ?41. Telex Milf att. New York office room 1, 232 seventh ava., new Yorac 10001, Tel Are code jt7 to to. News bum aim Retburg Germany Jean Albright by Del. 103, room 710a, Blob org a Apo 09 31, Civ. 0�s 577f. To. H7t-na. Memir Haver Germany Joe Mao Othor. Bldg my Carl shun a new Apo my. Bremer Tonii my is Civ. Nov Revtt . Int nuyt Dick i to my a. Me. 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