European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 07, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns artist s easel photo by legit flow wedding Bell blues Don t deter most folks one of my Many great aunts assembled the Amily once years ago to announce proudly that her daughter was marrying Benjamin portious Douglass of everyone was properly delighted and impressed. Massive wedding plans were Laid out. West Tennessee weddings All look like they were cast by Fellini As they were driving Home my Mother turned to her sister and said in t Benjamin portious Douglass of Nashville our Cousin cousins marry pretty often in Tennessee and no one made much of a fuss about it. Of they hardly know each other my great aunt said. It la work out it has worked out Fine. I think they owe their compatibility to a series of titanic fights they had Early on in their matrimonial career. They got All he hostility out of their systems and then settled Down to be married. We had a great fight once Ben told me. I Don t remember what it was about. But at one Point there i thought it was Over and i thought i had this was very Early in thei. Marriage obviously i went into the bathroom and sat Down on the toilet. Just when i d got comfortable the door flew open and there she was with a big pile of no. 9 dinner plates. She threw them All at me one by he grinned at the memory. You know when you re in that position it s Kinda hard to Dodge those plates. Whenever i go Home they re one of the few couples i assume will still be married when i get there. With the others i assume nothing. Married to anybody these Days i say to my friends and relatives when we meet on the Street. Usually they re married to somebody. Only it s not the same somebody i met the last time. I sat through county court once when the judge was hearing a Parade of divorce cases. A by John Windrow staff column lil couple named Ferril approached him. Ain t All the ferries in this county divorced yet the judge asked the Bailiff. The curious thing is they All seem to marry again so quickly. We May get soured on each other but the institution of marriage is thriving. As a matter of fact there s More marriages than Ever before i believe because everyone gets married so often. Newspapers take an interest in this. We re always running a Story about skydivers marrying in midair policemen marrying policewomen in wailing squad cars stuff like that. Consider these recent stories in the Stan and stripes in Westboro mass., Frances Mclain and Kevin Livesay married at a demolition Derby. According to the a the Groom. Drove a Black car with a Tuxedo painted on the Hood. The Bride drove a White Sedan with a lace trim around the Hood and a bridal veil hanging in the Back the wedding party roared around the track As the loudspeakers played Here comes the the Groom got in the first blow the a said Broa siding the Bride s poor Choice of words time will Tell who strikes the last blow. Some weddings get off to a bad Start. Dpi reported on Greg and Linda Grindstaff who took their vows at a Dallas Rock concert. It had been billed As the biggest wedding in Texas. But the fans were screaming for music during the five minute ceremony. The couple was hustled off after their kiss up said which was hooted by most of the 80,000 being booed at your wedding by 80,000 people has to be considered an ill Omen. Not Only that they followed an act called grim reaper. Then there was a couple in Georgia who married at the local Wal Mart store. According to the wires it went this Way the Rev. David Hurston of the yellow dirt Baptist Church in Roopville declared Beverly Turner 23, and James Bellew 33, Man and wife beneath a sign Reading satisfaction guaranteed i think those two May make it. I once knew an old Man in Tennessee named Swain. He ran a bait shop. I used to like to hang around there when i was a kid and mess with his crickets Worms and goldfish. He had a son who was my father s age and a son who was in the 6th Grade with me. There were Many others in Between. I made so bold one Day As to ask him who his favorite child was. Lawson he replied instantly. Is he your favorite because he s the oldest no the old Man said scooping up an escaped Cricket in his wide Grimy hand. Is he your favorite because he was born in the Woods under a tent at a logging Camp during a rainstorm this was True and i thought it was wonderful i never asked mrs. Swain what she thought about it no or. Swain said he s my favorite because i raised him and his mama together. She was 13 when we and that As one of my uncles pointed out to me Vas a right smart better than if she had married some fool her own november 1,1945 stripes Magazine
