European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 2, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns world s successful men learn to tie one on by John Windrow staff columnist thank heaven for slow news Days. Otherwise we would never gel stories like the up piece that ran in stripes recently about sinister Bow ties. The Story quoting an image consultant writing in Success Magazine said that people Don t Trust men who Wear Bow ties. Ohn Molloy wrote in the january february Issue of Success that the average person who wears a Bow tie is distrusted by almost  i would think that if Success were a Success it could come out monthly but that s another subject there must be something to this because image consultants Are hot. If an Anchorman wants to have eyeliner tattooed on his eyelids so he does t have to be forever primping before the 6 . Deadline he talks it Over with an image consultant. Image consultants Tell people like Ronald Reagan to Cut Wood on the ranch in front of the camera and to Wear leather jackets. They Tell Teddy Kennedy to lose weight. They Tell Howard Baker to get tall. I opened up the Herald Tribune the other Day and there was George Shultz the Secretary of state on his or r  tour o Eastern Europe. He was sitting at a table with a hungarian bigwig listening to a Gypsy fiddle player. I read that the commies he met Don t Trust him because he works for Ronald Reagan and the right wingers in the White House staff Don t Trust him because he made the tour in the first place. In the photo he was sporting a big Bow tic. Poor Shultz. Here s a Man in desperate need of an image consultant. I rejoice at the condemnation of Bow tics and feverishly Hope the stain on their reputation will spread to neckties As Well. People say neckties have no purpose but they re wrong. For one thing they Cut off circulation to the brain. This comes in very Handy when one is supposed to produce banal shrill chitchat at cocktail parties which is one place neckties arc worn. Cravats Are also Dandy for dragging themselves through Gravy bowls at dinner usually when you re sitting across from your Mother in Law. Often at work i be slammed my Necktie into my desk drawer so if i fall asleep i won t Tumble backward out of my chair. When i was in the Navy officers often wore Black neckties with their Khaki shirts. This was so if you were in some Manila Gin Mill and a barn Burner of a Brawl broke out someone could grab your Necktie and try to strangle you. The tropical Whites were better because they had an open Collar of course Small children might ask you to sell them ice Cream in san Diego and if some Starlet spilled a Pink lady in your Lap while she was trying to pick your pocket you had to go Back to the ship looking like you had been stabbed several times with an ice pick Bow tics have Norte of these useful attributes. Maybe that s Why people distrust them. I pity the archaeologists who dig the steaming relics of our civilization from the radioactive rubble and try to figure out what Bow ties were for. Look at this five. What s this the great historian Susan Joyce wrote that women wore them in their hair As a sign of sexual  but Here s a picture of a male with one around his  obviously when a woman owned a male in the ancient times he wore her ribbon around his neck to show who his owner  i Don t know. Maybe they were to Ward off evil spirits i have a Cousin who used to be a cop. He had to attend a fancy Dan dress dinner once As a bodyguard. Incognito of course. He had to Wear a Bow tie. He even had to Wear a Tuxedo cummerbund and shoulder Holster. He d never worn any of those things before. When they served the soup he Bent Over to blow on a hot spoonful and his pistol fell out of his shoulder Holster and into the soup. He said the Only thing Good about it was that the pistol did t break the bowl. Since then my Cousin has never trusted people who Wear tuxedos. I Don t know How he feels about Bow tics. Last minute invitations Are rude thoughtless by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners i am a divorced woman without a family in this town. On Christmas morning about 10 a.m., i received a Call from a woman i know from Church who wanted to know what i was going to do that Day and whether i had anybody to spend Christmas with because if i did to she was going to invite me to join her and her family to go to her Mother s for dinner. On Christmas eve another acquaintance from the same Church asked me about my plans for Christmas Day and after i told her that an old Friend invited me for dinner she explained the