European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 23, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns elephants go begging for Media attention by John Windrow stiff column he More bad news. From a recent edition of his newspaper authorities in India t Remote Northeast saw of Meg Holaya Are offering a Reward for the killing of an elephant that ate five people. United news of India reported. The news Agency quoted Stile wildlife officials As saying the wild elephant feasted on the Flash and blood of the five people ust year. It Only Ernest Hemingway were Falve. Big Ernie would be making tracks right now toward the depth of mag Malaya Complete with Rifle typewriter and a retinue of bearers beaters and drink ing buddies. In a few months we could read How he bid Low the Man eating Tusker. Thou Art not afraid of the elephant who eats men the native girl asked him. She looked Golden in the Sun but vulnerable yielding not very afraid he said himself As he wiped the Clear Amber Oil Down the length of the Weatherby s barrel and placed it gently but resolutely in the leather Case. It was hot very very hot. It never Rains in january in the Dusty Hills of mag Tatiya. I would be Par of you she said As she Drew closer to him. He froze her with a glance inc reached for the rum bottle but Lias Hemingway is dead. This is one hell of 3 Way to Start 1986, with elephants that crave human Llesh and no Hemingway. I thought killer bees move North was a scary headline. For several years i be had one car cocked listening far thai dreaded buzzing. What can 1 look Forward to now some headline like tusks of terror Man Waleri heading our Way perhaps some Nimrod will Plant a round in the murderous pachyderm s Skull before he makes his Way into my neighbourhood. The Story said the state government was offering a Reward of $180 to anyone who would go out and slay the beast i m not witling to add anything to that yet i figure $100 is a big pile in mag Malaya. But if the monster makes his Way to say Italy i d be willing to throw in a few Bucks myself and urge my friends to do likewise. As if that horrible trumpet sound they make weren t bad enough. I can Sec myself running fear crazed through the streets of Frankfurt or Stuttgart with a wild eyed elephant thundering along behind me trumpeting like mad lusting after my flesh. I probably taste Good to them. If you read about some Man hungry jumbo sitting on an innocent bystander and turning him Inlo a ply a you la know it was me. There s More at Issue Here however than my personal safety stripes decided to run its killer elephant Story on Page 8.1 know Fndia h a Long Way away. If it happened in Bonn we d have probably played it on Page 2. But consider this. We May by seeing animal prejudice at work Here. Whal if news broke of a Man eating Panda terrorizing some Remote part of China not Only would it make Page 1, thousands would proles any move to harm it. The Panda lovers that lobby that keeps Ling Ling and Hsing Hsing s Ful Ilc efforts to reproduce in the papers would snarl raising funds to relocate the villages. Cad books what if it were a  whale Page 1 for Days weeks Magazine covers network news coverage the works. People would name babies after it. Politicians would Promise o havt1 it captured unharmed and placed in the National zoo. It is a Well known fact that the medi.1 have a blatant prejudice in favor of pandas and whales. Elephants go begging the Only photo i remember recently of an elephant in stripes ran on Page 12 in late december. And Ringo Starr was sitting on it. As a matter of fact most of inc elephant s face was cropped oin of the photo. This could All backfire on us when the streets of Europe and America Are filled with blood thirsty elephants. Lot s give this Story some publicity and draw attention to the problem before or and mrs. America Are Silling in tht1 living room one night Reading about whales and pandas Only to hear inc Thunder of trumpeting pachyderms before they have a Chance to know what nil them. I guarantee you if a killer elephant chased Princess i around the Block we d be Reading All about it for weeks. Draw firm line Between business and pleasure by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners How does one respond when greeted by the maitre d Al a restaurant when i Dine alone it is easy. It s a Monsieur Fraser Bon soil Good evening and Good evening  Bui when i bring an acquaintance a certain awkwardness creeps to. The maitre d usually just smiles Al the woman with me says Bon soil Madame and leads i to our table. Feeling that he and i arc Friendly but not really friends i be performed no introduction and simply followed him to the table. I Sheie a belter Way should i say have you a table for miss Jones and me knowing that he does. Or am i strangling on a Gnatt gentle Reader miss manners certainly Hopes not. If you Are you must summon the Maiorc d immediately would you understand this ritual of greeting better if it were described As cordial rather than Friendly the maitre d1 what a silly term that is is quite properly offering you a pleasantry not his companionship. Those no really try