European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 12, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 stars and stripes wednesday february 12, 1986 columns so you Zink you vill Vinze Cheeze by Russell Baker Nantucket mass. We Are running a contest to find people with the Talent to write to rules Are simple write a single line of dialogue so exactly right for an eight hour miniseries that to professionals can in stantly write and produce the entire show on a budget of less than $30 million. That s right you write Only one line. But remember it must suggest everything we need to know about the eight hour miniseries you Nave in mind. Early entries reveal a surprising amount of undiscovered Talent for writing at the miniseries level but originality is sometimes tacking. Forty contestants for example have submitted virtually the same line which goes As follows to mister Winston Churchill you Leff Ven i Raydot Zmuday Vee notices vill bomb your be puffed Lon Don. Remember Herr Churchill Dot you heard it right Here in Zis Munich rathskeller from a Little mustachioed nobody by Zee name of Adolf the miniseries to be written around this line has already been done t was called the winds of originality please contestants above All originality. Also a word of caution. Do not write the accents for your foreign characters actors and directors like to fight about How the accent should sound. They do not like writers butting in. Are nazis out then never. Nazis will never be outs Long As the miniseries survives As an Art form. If you do nazis though try for the kind of originality found in this entry so Mother now you know the truth about me 1am a 37-year-old is colonel whose Only pleasure is playing with Dot one can carry originality too far of course As in the following example go ahead and say it eve. It s my Scales that make you shudder when i offer you the Apple in t it no network is going to pump $30 million into Garden of Eden show with a talking Serpent. The Audi ence for reptiles watches Public things go Down with a miniseries audience bet Ter than Acton wearing sheets. Our contestants Are aware of this As this entry indicates then it was your sister Malaysia who secreted the poisoned quinces in germanic us s sardines so As to arrange the marriage with Sibelius s Niece thus Assur ing Quintus s claim to the emperor s favor. Miniseries with contemporary settings generally Deal with the sluttish Ness of astonishingly Rich women. Many contestants entries reflect a shrewd awareness of this vast Market. Here Are several single line ones submitted by a variety of contestants slut you slut you Rich slut you fantastically Rickii slut you International Jet borne slut this last is obviously a weak entry but it does incorporate an essential element of the contemporary miniseries the astonishingly Rich sluttish woman s tendency to cover a great amount of territory usually by Jet. One contestant submits an entry that cleverly omits contest Winner will receive two pounds of Goat cheese. C new York Tomti George Bush can t be All right by Art Buchwald no matter Bow hard vice president George bus works to convince people that in his heart he is really rights there Are still some republicans who Aren t buy ing it. I thought Niblock would be convinced of Bush s conservative credentials after the vice president addressed a dinner for the late William lock in new Hampshire the new York state conservative party and Jerry Falwell s Liberty federation the old moral majority in Washington. But i was wrong. I Don t care what right Wing groups he addresses the Man s a closet Middle of the roader Niblock said. That s not fair i retorted. is Smuch a conservative a i am possibly even More. He believes in prayer in school overthrowing the govern ment in Angola and the Sanctity of Jesse Helms Politi Cal fund raising Bush Only says that to get votes Niblock he really wants to do is Hijack the conservatives pledged to Jack perhaps he started out with that goal. But now George is convinced the conservative Way ii the True Way. Have you seen where he stands on pornography Niblock sneered he s coming out against pornography awfully As vice president he could t afford to get the pro pornographers mad. But now that Reagan is a lame Duck. Bush is his own Man.". I still Don t think he is far enough to the George has hugged Jerry Falwell. Falwell has embraced president Marcos. The person who embraces the Man who embraced Marcos cannot by any stretch of the imagination be considered a Man or the it All sounds like left Wing opportunism Niblock said. What i think is that Bush s presidential election team decided the Only Way to beat Kemp was to Havethe vice president show up at More conservative dinners and prayer breakfasts than Jack does. They keep feed ing Bush speeches about Nicaragua abortion and the family in Hopes people will forget what he said about Reagan s voodoo when will you be convinced that vice president Bush is truly a Man of the right when he attacks the Gays. I Don t Trust any politician who does t Harangue it s too Early in the Campaign to attack Gays. You have to save them Tor the last week of the then i asked Niblock will you Grant that even i Bush in t a 100 percent right Wing activist at the moment that he s off to a Good Start r he replied maybe but i d prefer he wrap himself in the Flag a Little More he is doing the Best he can. In attacking the vice president said he is telling us to be ashamed to stand up and say we re proud of this great land and the Freedom and Opportunity it has made possible for generation after generation if that in wrapping yourself in the american Flag i Don t know what is. All right let s say for argument s Sake that Bush Isas far to the right As Attila the Hun. Why should i give him any Money when i m already supporting another Attila the Hun because George has a Chance of being elected president of the United states and your Hun does three conservative appearances Don t make a Ultra right Wing candidate Niblock said. I ii believe he s one of us Only after i see him dancing with Phylli Schlafly to the dark town stutters Ball c pm Awta Tymn Success Ceffo smms. f1ycmwiss. a i a that huhs Wuh we took today s crossword across 1 half ballroom dance?4 tvs 64._"7 arum Plant 8 Burnett or Lawrence 10 stage whisper 11 Dumas character 13 All in the family up loft 16 actor Knight 17 satisfies18 forty winks19 soaks flax 20 anti toxins 21 Cool spot in summer 23 freshet25 Dac Clor part reveler 26 Baker Sneed by Eugene Sheffer 7 Tennis Star 8 Coffee houses. 9 Young Jungle 41 head of the Fairway Down 1 wept2 pilgrimage to mecca3 revoked a legacy4 proof Reader Smark Standar actress Gypsy husbands 27 hockey Star 28 fierce look 30 macaw33 to crime drama36 Spanish ibbr.12 trap upesuvsir15 watering. Place.19 tatter 20 the i sack---21 divest ttlnjump23 Chalcedony 37 Komanoff halal 38 thin coins39 hawaiian goose40 at an end poetic ask. Solution time 24 Man. 2s Call 26 actress Turner. Etal-28 Dwarf. 29 not . 32 Donkey 2-12 Indmon Aiu. To yesterday Puzzle im2toy How woe the dentist Hubert
