European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 12, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes wednesday March 12, 1986 column to in fhe Senate a sad spectacle by Russell Baker new York it was inevitable that the . Senate would finally submit to having itself televised. The last time i saw the place it was obvious the Jig was up. Most of the members from the look of them could have been to news show anchors. Blow dry hair styles locked Down with plenty of mousse smiles by eve ready incisors and canines dazzling enough for a mouthwash commercial. It was a sad spectacle. They were creations of the to camera just As surely As Hulk Hogan the super bowl and miss Piggy were creations of the to camera. They had not been elected to office they had finished first in the ratings. Yes a sad spectacle. It was Clear that this outfit was dying to be televised. That s too bad for while televising is an activity the world should never be without it tends to make interesting people and places uninteresting. Remember the last couple of times we landed men on the Moon we complained about having our to games and soap operas interrupted by another Moon Landing did t we television had made the Moon uninteresting. Television makes political conventions uninteresting and political campaigns uninteresting too. It makes government uninteresting except for the presidency which it has turned into a daily to show. Television can t help it it tries hard to make Public affairs interesting but it can t. This is because politics and government when subjected to television attention inevitably turn themselves into performances for the mass audience an audience that likes blandness predictability familiar plots and stereo typed characters an audience that is uninterested in the unusual. Moon trips Are of until the Novelty fades but soap opera never bores. The mass audience s preference for government by people who look like to performers is known to every apprentice in the political consulting business. Of course the Senate ends up looking like an Assembly of local to news anchors. But the Senate was not transformed into a to performance overnight. The turning Point occurred in the 1958 elections when a Host of Young and highly telegenic democrats broke a Long Senate stalemate Between the parties by defeating a dozen or More Republican relics. Most of the Defeated republicans had held their seats for years without suspecting that an upstart television was creeping up on them ready to Render them cosmetically unfit to serve. Among those done in by telegenic democrats nobody had Ever heard of were men afflicted with physical characteristics unsuitable for politicians in the television age an old timer from the Republican West who bore a startling resemblance to . Fields a once unbeatable Prai Rie antique who in the words of one of his colleagues looked a lot like a fetal  after 1958 distinctive physiques wardrobes and hair cuts began disappearing from the Senate. The Man who had once gloried in his ability to argue All Day about the distinction Between a Tittle and a Jot gave Way to a new Man who knew How to deliver a Snappy 30-second out burst the instant the to lights came on. By the late 1950s there were dozens of senators who weren t even ashamed to have makeup applied to faces they wanted to glow in 60 million living rooms. Until then most politicians had believed it was sure death for the voters to catch them with Cheeks powdered and painted like fancy men. Still there were enough relics to keep the cameras out of the Senate chamber. William s. White s thesis about the Senate s being a club was sound in More ways than one for it was not uncommon to see a club member wandering the floor under the Power of Strong spirits. Without to cameras club Biness was possible. I recall a Hearty son of the Rockies stumbling out through the cloakroom s swinging doors late one evening and falling into face Down slumber on the Senate floor before his colleagues could re erect him and assist him out with proper senatorial dignity. You expected the unusual in that they still took spirits rather than spritzers and the old relics who had survived the first wave of the to assault and ran the place knew that nothing Good could come of turning it into a theater for entertaining the mass audience. The new age always arrives. In our time this Means techno Cracy marches on. And so we shall soon have 10-second news clips every night in which beautifully groomed ratings win ners make everything perfectly simple for us. A sad spectacle. C new York times the Art of marketing me a Marcos by Art Buchwald almost every Public relations firm in America is after the Imelda Marcos account. Myron Ste knife told me Why. Mrs. Marcos has a distorted image in the ., but fortunately she has enough Money to change it. I m Mak ing a presentation next week. What do you think of it Myron opened a Large folder. The Way i see it Imelda owns half of All the real estate in new York and Leona Helmsley owns the other half. I want Imelda to move to new York and personally advertise her real estate prop erties in the same manner that Leona does. I see Imelda in a full Page photo stretched Over the top of a piano saying Leona is wild about Harry and i m wild about Ferdinand. If you really want to have a Ball come to the Golden Casa for a lovers weekend. We feature free break fast free ice free movies and free elections i have another based on mrs. Helmsley s and in new York Magazine. It shows Leona standing in the dining room of her Palace hotel saying it s the Only Palace in the world where the Queen stands guard " Ste knife said we d show Imelda singing into a microphone on the Balcony of her hotel. The copy would read Leona Helmsley has no idea what it takes to guard a Palace. Would you believe even a company of crack troops and a dozen tanks in t enough " Why the ads i want the Public to think of mrs. Marcos As an astute businesswoman instead of someone who keeps shoving pesos in her Calvin Klein jeans. The fastest Way to do this is through advertising. I also have a brokerage firm inter ested in signing up Imelda for a commercial. She would stand in front of the plane she arrived on from the Philippines and say hello i m Imelda Marcos and my Hus band and i made Money the old fashioned Way we smuggled it out of the country in a trunk. If you expect to be overthrown soon Call me at this toll free number and for a fee i la advise How to keep your  i said you think that will help Imelda s image it can t Hurt it. I want to persuade the country Imelda was not one of these dictator s wives who spent All her time in Paris buying clothes with her country s fresh air funds. I m going to show that there were a lot worse spendthrift kicked out of their countries this  you re not talking about mrs. Duvalier let s just say i m talking about anyone who knows anything about voodoo  Ste knife said if Imelda does t want to go head to head with Leona Helmsley or do brokerage commercials she could always venture into the jewelry business. She has enough diamonds to Light up the statue of Liberty for a week he said. That s a lot of  just because a person is a head of state s wife does t mean she can t own a few Nice  this is a pretty Good presentation i told him. Do you think Madame Marcos will go for it i Don t see Why not. If she does t want to do it i have a Book contract for her to sign. A publisher wants her to write Hawaii on $750 million a Day " c los Angeles times an prick a already i Otto visit him in exit. It s one of 7hbfew Ink news pupal 600pnksithatis a55i6nmbht/ / it Shoup yield somea&ousi&3 mx1natin6 insi6hj5ihto 7h� 65n-&isofbvi1, and th5n 7h� today s crossword by Eugene Sheffer across 28 girl of 1 astern song 4 in medias 30 weaken 33 Pride of 7 Singer Paris Guthrie 36 wears 8 passover away feast 37 lock 10 Mary from of hair Quincy 111. 11 habits ates 13 sight in Venice 16 Snake like 38 Chic 39 City in Sicily 40 double curve 41 Princess s problem Down 1 russian Union 2 whip 3 violent Stream 4 tears 5 elicit 6 Wordin a Doris Day song hit 7 Tennis Star 8 biblical Mountain Marine avg. Solution time 24  17 expunge 18 Zsa Zsa s sister 19 against 20 musical Prince 21 social division 23 Sweet heart 25 Light source 26 miracl City 27 Frost 3-12 ans. To yesterday s Puzzle 9 make a error in Bridge 10 had a snack 12 taste 14 comedian Johnson 15 malay Gibbon 19 Viper 20 yellow Bugle 21 hidden store 22 moslem Nobles 23 Den 24 kind of dance 25 illumined 26 helmet s plume 28 King with the Golden touch 29 asserts 30 palette color 31 handle 32 Foo like Organ 34 eternal City 35 sea Eagle 36 38 22 19 34 40 17 28 14 29 26 23 24 37 39 41 20 35 18 30 12 31 15 32 3-12 Hubert � that parn7\ of mine charges an Arm / \ and a a �i966 King futures Syndicate. Inc wild rights reserved give up an Ptake up tap pouncing