European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - June 12, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 14 the stars and stripes thursday june 12, 1966 columns scraping by on two shaves a Day by Russell Baker the Duke of Windsor shaved it acc a Day. This and Dii Mcmurc comes from the current vanity fair which contains several Hundred suds about How the Duke and Duchess soldiered bravely on in Paris a Xii with scarcely 20 servants in support. Three servants spent dinner hours ironing he sheets because inc Duchess could i Bear to sleep on ,1 wrinkled bids Heel. She also detested bores. These angina this to bores and wrinkled fabrics show How far the Duchess had journeyed from her native Baki More where bores and wrinkles arc As integral to inc culture As crab cakes and liars who claim they knew babe Ruth As a boy. But i wander from the Duke of Windsor s two shaves a Day. Can you imagine Tiow much time he Duke had on his hands Only a Man with nothing o do All Day Long can become ii habitual wicca Day Shaver. T imagine the poor Duke As 1 now think of him sitting around his estate absolutely nothing to do. Watching the hands on his wrist Walch crawl slowly into he afternoon. Lie stands delicately strokes his javelin a. Is there enough new bristle in arc to justify breaking his two a Day Habil by getting out the Royal shaving bowl and lathering up for an unscheduled Middle of the Day have right now though it ii Only 2 01 p.m.? better nol. Thing like that could Lead a vicious habit. Hard 10 control if a fellow got hooked. First three shaves a Day just now and then. Pretty soon he could have a regular Ihrck shave a Day Habil next thing you knew it might be four shaves five shaves six i Harcsa Day then whal interrupting mid morning Lea because he just simply had to have Ariot her shave dreadfully embarrassing scenes Al the end of dinner parties the guests trying discreetly to leave and he the Duke of Windsor fas heaven s Sake pleading with he women to let the men stay for just one More shave. He could imagine wills humiliation us he blocked the guests paths shaving Mug in hand bleeding from razor Nicks incurred during dinner when he d excused himself three limes and dashed out Tor those three hurried shaves he hoped nobody would notice. He cringed As he imagined himself crying out to those departing guests. Just one tulle shave for the Road Fel lows eventually inc Duchess would mention it to him. It s Lime you faced the truth your highness. You have a shaving the gossip Queens would love to get i hair claws into that would t they Duke s shaving addiction bared our life together a Nightmare of after shave Boll Csc Wallis tells shaved in bed four times a "wallis1 try of despair shaving Cream ois Quill Atmos As unbearable As wrinkled sheets. " Well. I imagine the Duke imagining All this because j Man with so much time on his hands that he shaves twice b Day has got to do something Between those two shaves and imagining is the easiest thing to do if you have never cultivated the doing habit. Sure f think of him now us the poor old no that i Haven t occasionally shaved twice in n single Day myself. Now and then circumstances make it Good policy but even when i am doing it for the Mast greedy or licentious reason i cannot avoid u troubling sense that inc second shave is killing Lime. The poor old Duke had so much time to kill that he habitually took the second shave Anil obvious Iii enjoyed it. He had in enjoy it or he would t have put up Willi the physical irritation involved in scraping your face with Sharp Elcel every 12 hours. N another part of the pointless Ness of the life styles of the Rich and famous department did you no ice that bar Bara Piasecka Johnson the pharmaceutical heiress whose right to do As she pleases with 130 million has just been legally established celebrated her big payday by inviting guests to her Pri Celtin is Lac the other Day and that under the Chapel there is a bomb shelter designed to survive nuclear attack among other things it holds 10,000 Gallons of fuel Oil. In Case the thermonuclear holocaust sets off an open Boycott i suppose. The shelter has four periscopes. I imagine the survivors Down there awaiting the All Clear. Weeks pass. Nothing to do. Some people Start to shave with alarming frequency. Three four five shaves a Day. The incessant lather makes Johnson want to scream. But she has the Power o Stop this insane shaving from now on anyone shaving More than twice a Day is forbidden to go to the periscopes find look Al the rub Al new Vork times come Back yanks All is forgiven by Ellen Goodman f suppose it s All quite flattering in its own insulting Way. The English Haven t been so eager to see americans on Mieir Shore since the beginning of world War ii. Even Maggie Thatcher wants us to come to Mother. Or Al least to the Mother country. The prime minister told the missing tourists. We miss you we like seeing you. We love your friendliness. We love your warmth. Please in endless articles and letters to the editors of one journal or another americans have been chided As wimps and Chicken. The economist labelled our Ducase euro last year they remind us 28 million americans went abroad and Only 162 of them were killed or injured in terrorist incidents. In the same year Scotland Yard notes that 1.384 people were murdered in new y urk. And the British ambassador in Washington adds i believe that several thousand choked to death in the United my word. As an Urban american i Underland the resentment people feel toward outsiders who regard your neighbor Hood tace one you walk the dog a every Day 35 too dangerous to visit. I Alto understand the european in prot Sion thai once the War this Lime the War against terrorism ii taking place on their Lurf while we hit and run hiding behind our Atlantic Shora. But cancelling a Faote reservation a am exactly the time As finking owl on in Alliance a tour ii from the United Stales we arc not required to stand Tail for Amer Ica beside the Eiffel Tower nor do we have to make a political statement out of a plane ticket. Americans who work 50 weeks a year have no Obliga Tion to Devole their two weeks of vacation to nato waving the american Flag or american express checks around Europe. Nor do they have to spend them overcoming a phobia by paying for a Plush hotel in London. I have in my Possession two seats on a Twa flight to prance in the tall. This hardly entitles me to a red badge of courage. I am personally More frightened by the Prospect of a near miss at q Harc than terrorism Al Charles de Gaulle Airport. But i refuse to regard my More anxious countrymen As cowards a woman wrote to the times of London. "1 wonder How we can help our american friends remind themselves that any life lived entirely in accordance with seeking safely Comfort convenience and Protection would nol be Worth living let inc assure her that americans already know a Greal Deal about life risks. But base who seek Riski on Vaca Tion generally choose the Himalayas Over Heathrow. Tourists Are not agent of american foreign policy. Travelling a not an updated bundles for Britain pro Gram that guarantees americans All wrapped up in Nice froth Green Money and ready for airlifting. A vacation is a vacation ii a vacation. Preferably from stress. It ii however Nice to be wanted. 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