European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 8, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                A drive gasp through Italy Rome frascati Naples Ope ii Al Emo Magazine Calabria stories by Linda White travel editor riving All the Way to he Bottom of Italy and Back up again with an italian As navigator should be a cinch. Mama Mia thai s the Mildest expression i used along the Way. The Fust thing i Learned is that Kali ans invariably say turn left while pointing right and vice versa. I thought perhaps i had gone Cross eyed so i tried asking directions from several people. Then vote i found reference to this disconcerting habit in a Guidebook. Ascertain which one they really mean it cautioned. So one Day i simply slopped in the Road i was in the swing of things by now and said Why do you do that my Friend shrugged and replied to an expression which covers a multitude of sins and Means you re not going to gel an answer. Driving in Nlaly is an adventure yes. But Al in t the horror that you be heard it is. It s a matter of learning to drive As he Kali ans do and they can be very polite. They Don t pay much attention to lanes. They like to use their horns not a bad idea on some of the crooked roads. They seem of Elbow out of their Way the car they re passing and Hen Cut in Loo quickly. But by the same Token they Lei you actually expect you to Cut in they move Over to let you pass. In Short they Are Frier do Drivers. In gelling the hang of this you must hold tenaciously onto your sense of humor. You need it when the elderly gentleman who has Given you directions to the hotel insists on stopping Radic so you can Lum around i vary nearly Tost mine however when i almost go stuck Between buildings on a narrow Village Street. That happened when i was looking for the Supe Stratta almost but no quite an expressway that runs through the Sila Massif. At a Crossroads my ire Raj asked a Man Lor directions. But instead of asking Lor lha town where we were headed he asked which Way is the Sila now the Sila is the whole mountainous area in that part of Southern Italy so of course the Man pointed us into the mountains. By the time i realized what had happened we were on a narrow crooked Road Wilh no Tum arounds. Where Are we i asked. Taking a Short  my Friend replied. Thai Short Cut look almost two hours the Good Road required half an hour at most. And lha villagers of san Benedetto All gathered round to watch me Back Uphill out of that narrow Street. I Mutt admit that i had a few qualms about taking my car on this trip it s a sporty Little Peugeot 205 gel and i was worried about its being either wrecked or stolen ii certainly Drew admirers everywhere i parked it and Many people asked which City in he United states my License plate was from but it did t even suffer a broken radio Antenna. 01 course. I look Normal precautions not leaving my camera w other valuables on the Seal slaying in hotels that provide garages or parking Lota. But there were plenty of times when it was sitting on the Street unguarded. Driving in City traffic was one thing walking was something else. When i was behind lha wheel my companion would throw up his hands in disgust when i slowed or stopped Lor a pedestrian. But when we got ready to Cross the Street he would saunter into the Zebra Crossings and dare anyone to hit us. They have to Stop he said As a convertible stepped on the Gas and aimed for us. Yes because they la have our bodies tangled to their wheels. Must mention tha tunnels most of them caked Wilh years of grime. It is quite a Shock id drive irom Switzerland s Lily while ones into these. The Short ones the 1,000-footers. Are Santom lighted. The others have Orange lights and the effect is of a Row of Jack of lanterns on Adark halloween. One goes Blind inthe Middle of the Tunnel. Bui the darkness is More Han made up or by tha azaleas and Hibiscus planted along the medians of in Autostrada Blooming riotously. I chalked up 3,m7 Kilometres on that trip not counting the distance irom Rimini where i put the car on Board a Irain to Frankfurt Germany. The train was three hours late us engine broke Down in he Wea hours of the mornings it was mid afternoon on a hot muggy Day when t drove off tha Irain and headed or the autobahn. The police had my exit blocked for a demonstration. I had to make a too to get headed Home. And when i got to my Street to the police had it blocked. A Parade celebrating the Centenary of the Volunteer lire department was going right past my driveway. I drove lha car Halfway there on the sidewalk before i realized 1 was Beck in Germany. My friends Here won t ride Wilh me anymore they say i m still in my italian Mode. Tuesday july 8, 1986 the stars and stripes Page 13