European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 19, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 16 the stars and stripes Friday september 19, t9ss columns the new fax Low it s wonderful by and Rooney All or you arc interested in what the new income tax Law will mean o you so today i d very much like to id you How much More or less you re going have to pay and How much harder or easier it s going to be. To fill out the new lax form. Unfortunately As much As i d like to do this it s impossible because t Don t have inc vaguest idea. Short or being Able to do thai i j give you my personal opinion of the tax Bill. My opinion is based on important research i be done. I went to the Man who helps me with my taxes. Take my last years income and re figure my in come tax i said to him. Tell me How much income Tai i d have paid if this new plan had been in two Days later he called me Back. I m nol going to give you the exact numbers because i Don t want my sister to know How much i make bul he said i would have paid two third As much la will in other words save me thousands of dollars. On the basis of this report i m prepared to say thai he new tax Bill is one of the greatest things that has Ever happened in America. This new tax Bill is fair Lowas designed by honest sensible High minded americans with inc Good of the country at heart. No one can Tell me what it s like to be broke and without a Job because i be been both. In recent Yean i be made Good Money but if you be Ever been broke you Don t target in. Once 1 answered a newspaper and for a Job Selling Kitchen Scales door to Calaor. Because 1 could t Wilbrd to spend any of what Little Money i had on Bui fire i walked More than two Miles to the downtown Loca Tion of the address in the and. After on interview of Many sell i the kind of 1iu1i us lilt Usu ice 44 f c 4fu. Of Hal Uji 1uicj Al fun less than a minute the manager of the company. Ing the Scales told me Curtly that i was t the Hunt representative they wanted. I left depressed and angry although in retrospect 1 have to concede that he was probably right. Selling Kitchen Scales is not the thing id do Best. Another Lime t applied for a Job with an Advertis ing Agency in new York City. When i arrived Al the Plush office there were at least 15 other applicant there and More arrived after i did. After wailing for More than two hours Lor the Man doing the interview ing we were told dial he was leaving the office briefly bul would return. Fearful of losing our place we All sat there while the executive went Oul for a two hour lunch t clearly recall asking the person sitting next to me if he d hold my place while i went to the men s room. I hurried to the elevator and went to the lobby and bought a bag of potato chips and ate them for lunch. When the interviewer returned he started again and the interviews seemed to be getting Shorter. With Only four people in line ahead of me he Secretary came out and made an announcement. She was terribly sorry she said but the Job had been tilled. It s the closest t Ever came to the electric chair. For the past 20 years my income has been Good to very Good bul my tax Bill has been bad to very bad have almost no legitimate deductions to make and the few Shady ones i take Don t amount to after year i be fell the same toward general dynamics As i Felt toward that interviewer in the and Agency because general dynamics along Wilh hundreds of other major corporations have paid no count it Zero taxes. All this accounts for Why this one taxpayer is exhilarated by the new Law. In appears now As if general dynamics will pay More taxes than i do next year. I la no longer be paying for those battleships single hand edly. Pity poor nes Herb and Lormor Byar Buchwald whenever i have no one else to feel sorry for ache for the Hunt Brothers of Texas. The reason i cry for them is because no one else will. Nelson Bunker Herbert and Lamar Art Down on their Luck facing hard limes through no fault of their own. In 1980 the three Brothers were won More than$6 billion. Bul now they Are barely Worth $2 billion. Is there a sadder Story in America today 1 am glad i was t sitting at the breakfast table the morning the Hunt Brothers found Oul they were nearly Brake. Gosh dam it. Bunker i told you this would Hap pen if you riddled in Silver Lamar said. You did t complain about diddling when Silver hit 150 an ounce Bunker snarled. Don t you snort at Roe Lamar said. The reason ivc re in such bad shape. Bunker is that you never know when to pull Oul. We must have dropped $2.$ billion because you swore that americans would kill for what s the big Deal Bunker shrugged. Anyone can drop a few Bucks in die futures Why Are we in so much trouble for just losing s2billion? Herbert asked. Daddy left us a lot More than because Herbert said Bunker it in l just Sil ver we re up to our Bell buttons in. We re drowning in sugar. We bought All those refineries after the lady in Fanny Farmer Lold you there would be a sugar shortage. Do you know How much we re Selling now one Lea spoonful a you re a financial Genius Herbert. What did the sugar Cost us Lamar asked. Another billion Bunker replied. Are we wiped out Herbert said. We re Flat busted said Lamar. I figure we re Down to $4 billion give or take some How can we he Down to 14 billion we still have our Oil Herbert said. Bunker answered we put up the Oil Wells to Bor Row Money from the Banks on the Silver we gambled on which we could t even sell Wilh sugar on in the Oil Wells would t have made much difference any Why because we drilled too Many dry Wells no lunar because we drilled too Many wet ones. We struck just when the Price Sank to 19 a Bunker you should not have loss my Money Herbert protested. When you were a kid you always cried about anything 1 did. It was l your Money in was dad s Money Bunker Lold him. Daddy would Roll Over if he knew you were Chok ing on sugar Lamar pouted. Of shut up Herbert said. How bad is it Bunker scribbled some figures on a pad. It looks As if All we be got left is 12 Lamar cried who can live on that two billion in t even a safety net Herbert declared. Bunker replied we re going to have to make do Guys. There Are lots of Brothers in this country living on 12 billion and they Don t complain. Remember we re not always going to be in such sad shape. When lady Luck smiles again Well took on these times As the happiest years of our cd lot aa0mj tar tit if of aloft Fth shemms to Huetso today s crossword achoss1 Darken plan nor Kinuno 4 \frapnnrf8 Campus area in Short 12 coach 37 car game 39 Dull Hinn 13 roadrunner s utterance14 drs Ray i but by Spanish is i Hon 9 qum.1 191k in Thi mi21 regret 22 Thunie engine 26 Seaside Millers in annoy 30 Spanish wave 31 pious 32 secreted 33 puck lawn34 Scolie Dule abbr.35 glow com apartment item 41 reception aid45 return of the Jedi creature 4s Salty and specially 50 brill51 goad on 82 Spanish heros3 enlisted 84 whoppers 10 fruity off computer language Down lehorwract1 dad Milf 20 taper shot material 2 exam Type 23 painter3 author Mara 24 Shade just Vars grey4 of ral rulalor5 re Liardi of if Ennis 6 on of the ulue women 7 made fun finish20 Beau Grant personage27 composer nina28 Ladd of Shane 29blgwlk8 n,.cliessmw 33 Sinai 9 los psf i retch yer Tenily i Wuwer 9-19 49 exodus Hera 9-19 Hubert India trick to pick. Up the v1pratiow of approach in
