European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - October 3, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 18 the stars and stripes Friday october 3.1986 columns. Good old Happy Rule Days by Andy Rodney i d be a lot belter going to school now than i was when i went to school i would t mind starting allover in about the seventh or eighth Grade. That s when i began to lose it a Little miss Shute would stand in front of the class when she was teaching arithmetic and say something like this seven. Multiply by three. Subtract nine. Divide by two. Multiply by eight. Add two. Andrew and look at me Tor the answer. Charles Gibson and several of the brighter boys had their hands up waving at miss Shute to Call on them because they had the answer. Fifty they d shout when she pointed at them. The Best i Ever could do was guess. I Don t think i Ever Boi he right answer to one of miss Shule s exercises. Miss Boyd taught us English. He cooked the Steak a deep dark Brown she d say. What part of speech is the word deep she d ask then pause. An Drew they always were calling on me and i always was letting them Down. I did t know then what part of speech deep was in that sentence and to Tell you the truth. I m not sure now. Thai s Why i d like to Start Over. I d like to Lake advantage Ofinn education. I d work a lot harder. I took latin algebra biology and French in High school and then in College i took Good courses i american and English literature. I took lots of history and philosophy but for the most part i was More interested in passing than learning. Kids going to school now Are Lucky. When you see Whai a mess we make of our civilization it s amazing we have local governments that govern us water and sewer systems that work and conduits that Supply us with electricity and Telephone communications. To civilized As All these things Are nothing we have done with our world is any better than our determination to educate our Young. Phrases like experience is the Best teacher and there Are a lol of things you can t learn from books Are Fine to pull out once in a while. These sayings Are part True but they re most popular with people who feel inferior because they did i get a Good education. They re trying o convince themselves and their friends they did t miss anything. They missed some thing and Iney know it. Setting out to learn something in a program de signed by professionals to teach the most about a subject in the shortest Lime is a wonderfully civilized thing to do and by far the most efficient Way to Leam. Putting aside a major portion of your life often More than 20 years to cram in facts thai might otherwise never come to your Allenton is infinitely More efficient than experience. Learning from experience is slow and painful. Anyone can gain scientific knowledge about temperature by spilling boiling water on himself but it s the hard Way. Experience is a Good teacher bul it s no substitute for a real live one. The facts and background of subjects Inch As Litera Ture history science and the arts never come to the attention of people whose Only teacher is experience because these people choose to quit school and go to work. Millions of people in the world less Lucky than most of us never even have the Opportunity to quit school. They go from their mothers arms to work. The institution of school in our society is almost Loo Good to believe. In school you Aren t expected to be loing anything else. You Don t normally have a Job or ideally even any major worries about Money. You have special hours to learn in and a special place to go. Alnos none of us recognizes How Good life is in school until we re out of it. A Trout Media a Wpc tracing evolution of drug tests by Art Buchwald it All started when someone got the idea to test Jacelin rfcs for drugs. Then somebody else said As Long As we it doing in for horses Why Dpn l we test football players it seemed like a Good idea except the baseball teams complained that if the authorities were screening football players they should do the same for baseball players. The track stars said the wanted to be in in on in Loo and before you knew in they were testing basketball players croquet teams wrestlers and bowlers. A female volleyball team in Alaska went to the slate supreme court complaining that men were being tested id times As often As women. The court ruled that women were entitled to equal drug checks under the Law. Although the dope screening started in sports in soon hit the civilian population. Politicians urged that every schoolchild in Ameri cabe tested corporations gave All employees Little paper cups As they lined up for their paychecks. Banks demanded drug checks on customers in Exchange for mortgages. No one could use a credit car unless he had a favourable report from the lab. The army Navy air Force and marines declared mandatory testing for our boys in uniform. And the White House ordered everyone from the Secretary of state to the lowly Secretary of agriculture to bring in samples before a Cabinet meeting. President Reagan declared thai everybody in Nicaragua had to be tested by the contras who were already tested by the Cia. There was some hell to pay when the while House leaked a Story Hal All Heads of stale would have to take a drug, before they met with the president. Prime minister Margaret Thatcher was particularly disturbed when they sent her a kit in the diplomatic Pouch. To show there was nothing to in Reagan look a test. As everyone suspected the president passed Wilh flying colors and Nancy was shown giving him a kiss when the results were announced. Drug screening be came the most serious obstacle to foreign relations. One of the big stumbling blocks to holding a sum Mit concerned the question of whether or not Gorba Chev would Lake a drug test. The soviets insisted Hal Reagan had to take their word that Gorbachev was not on dope. Americans held out for on site inspect  Only the White House but other branches of government Are now insisting on checks for drug  candidates Are filming commercials holding up the results of their it on television and demanding their opponents do the same. A suggestion to have members of the supreme court take a lest before deciding a Case was greeted with Stony silence by the justices. The reason is that the supreme court Wilt have to decide sooner or later whether mandatory screening is constitutional or nou and if they Lake tic test and fail they could be held in contempt. I Don t wish to give the impression thai everyone in Washington is being checked on a regular basis. Many of us arc just being subjected to random testing when we re in a Public place. I be Only been randomly tested three limes once when i was drinking from a pubic water Fountain outside Jesse Helms office once when i bought Boxer shorts at Bloomia Gdaly i and once when 1 asked at Torney general Eov Meese at a press conference if be was having trouble understanding the Constitution of the United Stales. Today crossword by Eugene Sheffer across oath 4 Stern counter port7 quickly 12 period13 coach 38 broadcast 41 famed nonsense poet 45 gown feature 47 Western indian48 the Boss slut 14 a Leuman in in gangster s unit put or Ursa major18 broke rust 19 Market place 20 ulily slave22 t be million23 lie sort island27 author higher up s3 we secretly Mcarth Sythat woman spoil 57 before68 attempt down1 Gambler s city2 speech Ify 3 Type Ocolor or cooler 4 All 3 source Apan vehicle 7 Orient Lite 8 utter member 9 current bit 10 middling Grade 11 Blunder solution time 27 mans. 29 Londo landmark region34 Early Lindsl Dent 35 vip37 chem. Mirtlk38 Slaughter 1q hqhhqs1 yesterday g answer 10-3 etrtlrut31 defect 23 pint name of 4 . Zub skirt edge1a German  90 author Fleming at actor Vygoda 32 tin tin33 conceit 3d ticket receipts 37 Pencil end40-Good  42 zen 43 take the wheel44 aunt pm s husband45 lean to 46 Rule of baseball 4s plead49 labor org. 50 Dollop ii tax Lime asst. 10-3 Hubert