European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 3, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse The Case of the missing Garter Snake. And a parakeet that flew the Coop by William Geist new York times he parakeet hew out 1ho window its whereabouts unknown la could to sitting in a ire some place Happy As a Lark or it could to somewhere with a rag in its beak another innocent victim of Iho Petra ppm Scourge. It is a mystery without Cluss another Case Lor new Vork City s Irving West Pel detective the first thing you have to do is Calm Thorn Down said Wesl. Referring to a Hys Leneal owner calling the other Day about a loss pot he lakes 45 to 50 such Calls a Day tracking Down eight or nine loss Pels each week he took Down the description of the animal a horse Brown in color with while on the Tower legs and a plumed Tail. When the owner starts to Tell him about the pet s personally to has to interrupt please just the there was no mystery Here West working out of the Manhattan Mollico of his self indoors Agency knew of a horse Matching the description that had been caught near Gardiner . In Ulster county. Case closed. Horses Are easy West explained. On the other hand we be got a Garter Snake Case Green about is inches Long that disappeared in porn Jervis that one s cats take time he said they Imd shelter and there is great food in the Gatteys " Why he asked would a cat living behind a sushi restaurant want to go Home he next received a tip on a Domestic Pigeon Gray Wilh White wings found in Massapequa . He made a menial note in Case it is reported missing. The net Call was from an owner of iwo Jack Russell terriers missing from slate Hill . In Orange county Rural people Aren t so hysterical he said. They re More accustomed to life coming and going. People in the cily tool loss in the crowd with no close human Contact. They become far More Allacher to pets. With humans everything becomes so a Man who had Lound his Boxer called. West estimates that 60 percent to 70 percent of All lost pets Are found by owners keep a close Eye on West said. He May try la relive lie from Hli office in Manhattan West works on cases throughout the Eastern United Stales me advertises in newspapers and issues a lost pet report to shelters in several states. About 18,000 pets Wear tags with his toll free Telephone number. He Sells the tags for $19.50. Among his cases is the Tough one of the while Rabbit missing from its fort Lauderdale Fla Home and one he Hopes will be easier the White Rabbit with Iho distinctive Black markings from port Lucia Fla. He has a backlog of 30 lost ferret cases. Ferrets Are very fashionable pets he said. "8ut they re born escape artists they Burrow i found one Between a Box Spring and the mattress. We Are dealing Wilh a lot of exotic pets now he added. What it comes Down to in new York is what s fashionable what others Don t have. If it s endangered and illegal people want it. Pets gel Tost in Everyway imaginable he said. There is a whole pack of wild dogs in the Jamaica wildlife Erma Bombeck part Gat lost in every Way imaginable preserve on Long Island thai got Loose one by one from baggage handlers at adjacent Kennedy West said that he deals increasingly with pet nappers. If you Ever want to see your fish alive again thai Type of thing he said. They steal pets Ihen they wait for a lost and found and and demand a Ransom he went on. Or they might sell the Pels right away on the Streel for a Little drug Money or in some cases they might just want to keep the pet or their own. There s a Guy in Greenwich Village Wilh a French accent said West who makes $500 to $600 a week on such a Racket. He does t steal pets he just reads lost and found ads. Tells the owner he has their Pel takes the Ransom Money and runs West has been working on a big lost dog Case medium sized dog maybe so pounds but carrying a handsome $1 ,000 Reward. There have been Many leads but West has Learned to take them with a Grain of Salt. There Are people who would do anything Tor a thousand Bucks he said noting this is a dog Wilh a Price on his for a thousand dollars to said there Are probably people who would drag Steak Bones around on strings i was so thrilled to find out about Irving the dog Del Clive said Mac Griswold owner of the dog. Named Alan Des Ziz Aines a rare Griffon for a $45 fee West advises her on such things As How to write posters and the handling of Ransom Calls and lists her dog for four months in his lost pet reports West has become so popular that he does More phone counselling than sleuthing these Days. When he received a tip about a dog Matching Alan s description being walked Early each morning on 155th Street he passed it on to Griswold. She went up there herself Wilh a Kitchen knife to Check it out to no Avail. And. When he received a request that to track someone s dog to sea where it goes Irving West pet detective had to remind the caller thai he does no Tail dogs. On the heels of the Success of the Cosby show a rash of family sitcoms has blossomed on prime time. Not just your Ordinary families mind you but children who not Only talk to their parents but who say amusing things. Have you any idea How that makes me feel knowing my kids could t perpetuate a 30-Minule weekly sitcom Rotten. Just Rotten. Where is the kid on television who goes in the bathroom at the age of b and does t come out until it s Lime to get marked and his Only words during All that Lime Are we re out of shampoo and when the phone rings take a message where s the child who talks about you like you re no there. She s hovering Over me i la Call you Back is she going to slay while Iho party is going on where s the rebellious teen Ager who regards summer school As Parent brutality kids on television lie but Are sorry Lor it. When parents say go to your room they go and they May screw up royally but in 24 minutes they turn their life around in Lime Lor the credits Soroll by. I find myself laughing at the kids who in real life i be forbidden my children to associate with. Why the discrepancy Between real life situations and those we see on to they re basically the same and yet Wilh one we laugh and the other we cry. I think the answer has to do with overexposure. Real families Are so. Daily if we Onsy saw them once a week after dinner we d All get along belter. And god knows we could use a summer off. Reruns would be optional. As it is families Are Day in Day out week in week out year in. Year out. The lines and the characters become quite predictable. Would t it be great to live through a Nightmare of a kid who flunked Hia sat scores wrecked the car Tost his part time Job and decided he d hang around Home for a year to find himself.,. Only to see him come out of the Shower one morning and say get hold of yourself mom. Ii was All a dream. I m leaving tomorrow for Bui Why Why would you do his to your Mother sweetheart a would say our family ratings were slipping. Do you want the Carrington and the families at knots Landing to get ahead of us and be honest now who of us has not toyed with the idea of writing out a couple of siblings whose characters were becoming tedious just the other night i watched a Mother order her three sons to sit on the sofa As she proceeded to dissect their rottenness. Not one of the kids hummed through the whole speech. No one interrupted her and blamed his behaviour on the threat of nuclear War and not one of the kids had to go to the bathroom. Bad they Don t Call hem situation comedies for nothing id i Ait Tiu Traat s monday november 3, 1986 the stars and stripes Page 17
