European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 21, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Peseta the stars and stripes wednesday. January 21,1687 columns scenes television will never show by Russell Baker moments we will never see on television unfortunately Anton Snake game show Host of squeal with greed cries in bogus ecstasy when the big Creed. Board lights up. You Alphonse Ferguson he cries have won Italy this one of a kind package of Magenta coloured aluminium siding this custom made set of stainless steel electrical Toenail clippers this gorgeous Laven Der styrofoam replica of America s beloved and historic old Hundred gallon wooden rain barrel what a conversation piece for your living room an trial s not Alt Alphonse do you mind if i Call you Alphonse you also win this. Ferguson interrupts i did t come on this show and make a squealing fool of myself before the whole country just for a Bunch of junk Snake. I want Snake gesturing for producer to go to commercials hah hah Fin l he wonderful ftlkst1 Ferguson pull a fully loaded flame thrower. Cute off before i get my Money. Snake and the big greed Board it instant cinder he says announcing he will auction his prizes to the audience. Nobody bid so Anson Snake males a Deal s17.so for the lot and Snake pays the private trash Carter 10 get it to the dump. Beady Bohannon who yesterday realized his life Long ambition is appearing on the Spangler sump show. As he enters the studio audience applaud wildly. Not one of them has Ever heard of Beady Boltan non. During the audience Warmup however they were warned that persons who failed to applaud his Entrance wildly would have delivered to their Homes via incredibly expensive overnight delivery service styrofoam replicas of the beloved old antique Ameri can Hundred gallon rain me honestly Beady says Spangler sump exactly How much does fulfilling this lifelong Ambi Tion actually mean to you exactly he says. You be got to know exactly exactly How much it meant to me you can see Spangler sump s old pro instinct warning him he May have to replace Beady fait with the next guest one Delia Robbia a woman pole alter who plan to achieve Fame in Ripley s be Lieve it or not by climbing mount Everest the pole vaulting Over the tip. I Don t want to mislead anybody says what cries Spangler sump genially though his eyes Tell the tale the staffer who Booke Beady gets a styrofoam replica of the beloved old antique american Hundred gallon rain barrel first thing tomorrow about exactly How much fulfilling my lifelong ambition Means to me lays Beady. Would it be of if i gave it approximately Spangler sump obviously wants to scream. Instead he says sure Beady. Approximately How much did fulfilling Tail great ambition actually mean to Yout about 36 or 37," says Beady. Not As much As 40.we re talking metric of Coune it s better to be loud than smart Byar Buchwald the Young Man came into the office to apply for Ajob As White House correspondent for the daily the Veteran Bureau chief said Tell me Well sir 1 was a reporter for the Harvard Crim son and i wrote a Book on economics while i was in College " "1 Don t care what you wrote boy. Can you yell i beg your Pardon let me hear you shout. Shatter those wine glasses Over there what do you want me to yell sir yell or. President when Are you going to fire Donald Regan " you want me to yell that you Damn Well belter if you want to be a while House or. President when Are you going to fire Donald Regan the glasses did t even crack. You re going Mohave to practice a lot. Let me give you a Little lecture son. Covering Ronald Reagan is no piece of other presidents you asked questions respectfully and you got quiet answers in return. This presidents different. You Don t talk to him you shout. You have to break the sound Barrier to find if Reagan ingoing to have a Summit with a can yell with the Best of them air i m not talking about Ordinary Yelling. I m talking about getting through to the president when he Steps off the helicopter with the engines roaring and the dog Barking. I m talking about shouting to Ronald Reagan when he s on an aircraft Carrier in the Mediterranean and you re on a Tanker 3.000 Yards away. And i m talking about asking a question about his prostate from tee sidewalk when the president is in his pyjamas peering out the 24lh-Story window of Bethesda naval i know i can do it. I used la Petiau the time when attended Harvard football you re a sad sack compared to some of the while House greats. Have you Ever seen Sam Donaldson the finest presidential Souter of All time no but i be Icard Lam on television Sam has a Way of getting the president s attention that is a Joy to watch. Whenever the president sees Sam he automatically cups his car. Study Don Aldson s technique son and you la go far in the White House correspondents gosh the Young reporter said i never dreamed would be Yelling in the same reporter pack As Sam Donaldson. Don t let Sam fool you. He May seem like a Nice fellow but hell bust your eardrum before hell Lei you yell a question to the president maybe i should bring a megaphone to they won t permit it when it comes to inter viewing Ronald Reagan the Only thing you can use is your ill gargle every Day the Young Man said. The Bureau chief said come with he Loo the Young correspondent into a soundproof room with a tiny photo of Ronald Reagan in the is where we practice Yelling Al the president. Now let s hear you Here i go or. President were you involved with the laundering of the $1 trillion budget How is i hair not very Good the chief said. 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