European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 4, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Page is columns the stars and stripes wednesday March 4, 1987 today s crossword reach out and touch someone Byar Buchwald the rouble Al the while House hat to do with communication 1 have the transcript of the last Telephone conversation Between Don Regan and Nancy Reagan. Nancy Don can we talk Don Mold you never to Call me at the office. What is it this Lime. Nancy f want to know Why you Don t Send me Dow ers anymore Don because i m trying to run the while House and you keep bulling in Wilh some crazy idea about the president to Moke Rny life miserable. Nancy i Don l believe i m out of line by objecting Loyous sending Ronnie Down the Snake River on a raft two week Aner hit prostate operation. Don the president has a lol of admirers along the Snake River. Nancy. You font care about Ron. Alt you re trying to do i make an abrasive name for your ser. Don if you keep talking like that i m going to put you on hold. Nancy if you put me on hold i la sic my dog on you Don Nancy you have to stay out of the Oval office. Women just Don t belong Here. Nancy listen worm we had a very Nice White House until you took Over As chief of staff. Why Don Lyou pack your bags and Lake the next $39 United flight id Syracuse Don stick to baking birthday cakes and leave the business of running tace country to me Nancy Why does the president need you Don because i m the Only one who tells him what he Laid and Why he id it. Nancy do you know what 1 suspect Donald Regan. You re trying to gel me to resign As the first lady so you can have Ronnie All to yourself Don it i not True. I know the president respects you very much and it s my Job to make sure he never has to choose Between us. In the meantime i think i la hang up on you. .,.-Nancy Don t you dare hang up on me. I was talking to Ronnie last night and we though it would be Nice if you took a private Zilic next to Michael Deaver j. In that Way you d still be near to us and Al the same time be out of our hair. Don Nancy May i ask you personal question Why Are you calling me Nancy it s no mystery that the Telephone company Wantt us All to reach out and touch someone we love. Five tips on How to catch a Man by Maureen Dowd my Molher has Given me Only three books in Ray life. The first when i was 13, was called on becom ing a the second when i we 21. We called "365 ways to Cook the third when i was 25, was called How to catch and hold a because t received How to catch and hold a Man Al a time when we were entering the age of Equality i put it aside As an anachronism. After All sometime inthe 1960s, flirting went out of fashion As did the idea that men needed to be trapped or "landed.1 the Way to approach men we reasoned was Forth rightly and without frills. Unfortunately history has shown this to be a misguided notion i knew things were changing because a succession of my single girlfriends had called sounding sheepish to ask if they could borrow my Oul of print copy of Yvonne Adelle s How to catch and hold a Man. Because of the notorious male shortage a distasteful darwinian fact looms women Are going to have to Start being Nice to men again. Because Many women have for Gollen How to be charmingly insincere it will be necessary to Brush up on the venerable trick of he Trade. Required Reading includes Zsa Zsa Gabor t seminal work How to catch a Man How to keep a Man How to get rid Ofa also the Complete works of Helen Gurley Brown and Nona Jaffe and the illustrated history sex goddesses of the 1930s." Carmen Miranda movies arc excellent As Welt. Modem Advent resses will need to return to basics an absurdly charming Little laugh a pert toss of the head an sir of saucy Triumph dewy eyes and a full knowledge of music drawing elegant note writing and it will be considered captivating once More to lie on a chaise lounge pass a Lacy handkerchief across the eyelids and complain Ofa Case of springtime must disappoint those who had hoped to cadge my copy of How to catch and hold a i am Busy studying it myself. As a Public service however i will reveal the five key axioms for women who would be a fast soft mysterious Rai. Always sound delighted when a Man Calls t do not make abrupt gestures of any kind. Irhe has a Girlfriend iry to become a Good Friend of Hen. Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether. This revisionist approach to Romance May be difficult at first for women who thought that having your own american express card meant never having to feign interest. But Wilh enough practice and enough Leopard skin scarfs any woman should be Able to act As feline a a cat. And avoid sarcasm altogether. Lunn on it re pour in the new Vort Tiff la Wiki Foutt -. Bow to m Gabon Japan agrees to ease limit on foreign lawyers Washington a Japan and the United Stales have reached an agreement that will make i easier for . Lawyers to practice in Japan . Trade representative Clayton Reutler has announced. The new Accord which followed two years of negotiations will result in cased restrictions on foreign Law yers beginning on april 1, Culler said in a statement w whet he won if wwshttoeeserkw5.51lw since too a fish t Stop of Regow toned. 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