European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 31, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 10 the stars and stripes tuesday March 31.1987 military wives give tips on How they Cope t would like to respond to the or real writer who is concerned that military wives should Lund by their men As opposed la complaining about Long term Sepa ration from their husbands. The writer had some Good Points about the fact hat Many of our husbands Art gone from the Home a great Deal and spend Long hour enduring the elements. She did not mention what channels Are available to Mili tary wives while their husbands Are at work her letter gave me the impression thai hey this is the Way military life ii bite the Bullet and accept Ftp to Start with military wives and their goals arc changing and expanding. Not All of us slay Home All Day waiting Tor our husbands. More military wives Are pursuing degrees in higher education and establishing careers. I Tor one worked hard in College sustained a car and a half separation from my husband to do this and have an extremely rewarding career which incident is just As important As my husband s career. You can stand by your Man in All respects but this docs not mean you should live Only for him and be available every waking moment to Cook clean and care for kids. As far As i am concerned this is anarchic Altitude which subsequently leads to an unsatisfying and unequal relationship. Those military wives who do not wish to pursue full time careers have several other options. There Are Many Community agencies needing volunteers. Why not Volunteer a couple hours a Day get involved with Community organizations or Volunteer  a Library Craft or exercise group. Why not help out in your child s school if you have a Smalt infant Check to Sec if your Community has a women s support Center where differ ent classes Are offered at a minimal Cost and usually Nursery is available. There Are Loo Many rewarding and great things 10 do rather than stay at Home. To each and every unhappy and unsatisfied military wife out there Start living for yourself set attainable goals and pursue them and of yes try not to forge your husband while doing this. Christina l. Judge Smith Frankfort Ever woman in the world has her own Type of stress and things to Cope with. The military wife regardless of the Branch of service has to Cope with the Long hours and sometimes Days and months apart from her spouse. At these limes the wives must Lake on the role of Mother and father financial manager doctor sole supporter and Backbone of he family. The stress on these women is rising at a horrible ale. Sometimes they find the wrong Way to Cope with this stress such As drugs and alcohol and most often child abuse. There Are women s support centers id any Branch of the service but what about friends for those of us living overseas it is very hard to be away from families and friends Back in the Stales. These arc the people we would normally turn to in limes of stress and pressure. This Type of Siren More often than nol turns into severe depression. Pur husbands have jobs to do. They do seem to adjust easier than the housewife with three Small Chil Dren and Bills to pay not knowing anyone closely As a Friend. Friends can be one of the greatest things a person could Ever have at these limes. When people move As often As the military family friends can be the support we need. They arc there when a shoulder 10cry on is needed or a Day out even if it is just for a Coke. Life As a military wife can be a very lonely one. Thefield problems thai tast for weeks or months can add to this loneliness. Taking on the Tola responsibility of the household can seem like such a big and scary thing. There Are ways to Cope with this though they May not work for All of these women. Doing the Bill paying and taking on some new duties can bring a More fulfil feeling to some women. The idea of being needed and counted on can be a real big boost in ego and your feeling of Worth. For the House wife whose Normal duties include cleaning and caring for the children laundry and All other household duties it can bring on a sense of Relief Relief from the boredom of everyday things. For the husband on Field duty or temporary duty it can be a Relief also knowing he has left things in order and in capable hands no husband wants to com Home to past due rent electricity shut off. And House hold items repossessed. He trusts his wife to handle these situations As he would if he were there. Time spent together discussing the upcoming Field duty or try and telling each other your fears and needs will be a big help. Communication plays a big part in any marriage be in military or civilian. Bei Gable to discuss everything from bids to medical prob lems can help relieve any Type of stress that May have to be coped with while you Are separated. As a military wife i know that dealing with the lonely nights can be hard for those who do have Chil Dren this time can be very Busy. This too. Can be a release from stress. Children can be a big plus game scan be played you can help with Homework visit a zoo or Many other things. Try to make the Best of . If you Are depressed your children will sense it an that can Lead to Short tempers and arguments. Try to keep things on a Happy and Normal level. If you can go through these Days As if nothing has changed you will see a big difference in not Only your Altitude but in your children s As Well. Being apart from the one we Jove can be a very hard thing. Try not to let this gel you Down think ahead to when he comes Home. Plan a night for just the two of you whether it be a candlelight dinner or just a Ham Burger and a movie. Show him in Small ways How much you Are glad he is Home. He will feel so Muc belter and be so much More relaxed knowing you coped on your own. There Are so Many things offered for wives such As Craft classes cur disc programs and College courses. Find something 16 interest you and make yourself Happy and fulfilled and you will find your life on an upswing. Your marriage and family will also gain fro your new Outlook on me and yourself. You will also meet new friends and Start some lifelong memories of what could have been a very lonely tour overseas. Good Luck and 1 Hope that your Lour overseas will Beas full of memories As mine. Just always remember that life can be full and Happy but Only if we make it hat Way. Nunu withheld Hanan Germany this it in response to some of your Fellers thai con Mem on the title of spouse and the stereotypes that accompany Luch a word. All married people have a spouse. Some Are female in gender and some Are male. 1 am a female spouse an frankly very lived of hearing other spouses both male and female telling me what i Slud do and what i should be. I am me whether that Means thai i stand by my Man or i retain my birth name and pursue my life goals and dreams or even develop and maintain a career instead of a family of 2,5 children a dog two Ais fish Lank Garden and a station Wagon is my business. If i want to Cook sew clean do laundry and chauffeur the kids around Lawn or perhaps write a Book study to be a nuclear physicist become Politi Cally Active or save the whales is a Choice thai 1 Mak forme. Being married brings sacrifices not death. It s a two Way Street hat at times requires one to sacrifice More than the other. If both spouses in the marriage arc truly considered equal than Only Short Lorrn individual goals will be pursued so that both partners have a Chance to set actualize without becoming Burden or a Crutch to inc other member. Sacrifices Are different for each individual marriage so those of you who practice wagging you Finger and telling other people what they should or should nol do or should or should not be think first Carol p. Harrison Bam bolder Germany i m seeing red All 1 can say to that uninformed lady is consider where your place would be if you lost your dear husband through a divorce or death. No we Don t like to discuss these things. Bui be realistic get some Job skills to strike out on your own. Slaying in a dependent situation sharing Only what his career yields is not doing your self Este Many Good. I m not saying you should run out and join now or anything just consider your future in a different Light. Realize you Are just As important As he is. You need not be a second class Cit Izen. Kay Romblad Frankfurt cafes defends sales of foreign products the falling of inc Dollar is the direct result of Ameri cans Rushing oui to Purchase foreign made goods with out thought As to who pays for their monthly paycheck. When americans buy american made goods there is a direct relationship to the strength of our Dollar. An american working in the Homeland pays taxes to keep us overseas and the Dollar Strong. When an Amer ican purchases a foreign made Auto for instance for eign workers profit from this Exchange not the United states. There was a Lime when american workmanship and Quality was not of the highest level but this has changed. Foreign made goods May be at the Lime of Purchase somewhat cheaper but in the Long run they Cost much More in Upkeep and in inc Protection of american values. A very Large Drain on the Dollar is our worldwide Post Exchange system of making Money. This business Orts on a bails of profit not of Quality. An example of this is the Large amount of foreign made goods in the audio Section. Foreign made audio items Are lower priced to begin with and arc on Sale much More often than Quality made american audio goods the whole world knows that the Best made audio equipment is made in the United slam but through a system of false information the , Soldier does not know it. We Are not Given the Chance to make judgments of authority in the Post Exchange system. 1 would like to know Why this system does not further the american Way of life. Love of my country Means More to me than your targe profit margins. What Are you important leaders doing to win the Trade War Are you driving pm to win in your foreign made Aulo id the beat of America com ing from your foreign made car stereo do get an answer stating everyone is doing every thing possible that can be done or will America and 1 get a helping hand born in the  Means More than just lip service staff sgt Harold w. Goodman Schawel Tafurt Germany with All the emphasis on buying american to the extent that our government is trying to devalue the Dollar to Force americans id Purchase Domestic products i want to ask Why cafes carries so Many for eign made items Especial in the audio visual depart ment i think Loo much emphasis is placed on the greater Quality of foreign built items. I suggest thai the Quality of . Products has greatly improved and these goods deserve another look when we make major purchases. Senior airman Gregory j. Freader Tilburg a Germany editor s note col. Donald e. Gilbert Deputy commander he makes Europe replies your Contention that american audio items should be carried in your Exchange just int valid .-Mtde electronics Aren t widely available. There ire few  of esoteric components but Best products collectively nuke up less than 1 percent of the Market. Stereo components tvs Vars and most other audio video items Ait almost exclusively made id the far East primarily in Japan and Korea Eren items with is. Brand names Are manufactured in the far Eul. If we eliminated items not nude in America there d be no audio deportment in our stores. As for other foreign made Good cafes stocks these items for two valid reasons first our customers want them and will Bay themon the Economy if we Don i Stock them. Second we am offer the products to our custom ers it a lower Price than is generally available from commercial outlets. Our merchandising decision will continue to be based on several key factors Cunt Maicl data from the states. A specific product s track record performance la the cafes Market. Quality of after Sale sir run to our customers. In the Deal anal Sis the cafes customer deter mines what it Stock. If product Sells we Coati of to Stock ii. If in does tire drop it from our inventor. It s important to remember Lluu shopping your Exchange enhances cafes earnings generating Money that s returned directly to you in the form of Mph contribution and improved facilities. A final note cafes began an Active program last fall to put additional emphasis on buying american. Ask that you visit your store and ask the manager to explain the made in .a." program to you and show Yon featured merchandise manufactured in the slates