European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 31, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 10 the stars and stripes tuesday March 31,1987 military wives give tips on How they Cope 1 would like to respond to the recent writer who is concerned that military wives should stand by their men. As opposed to complaining about Long term Sepa ration from their husbands. The writer had some Good Points about the fact that Many or our husbands Are gone from the Home a great Deal and spend Long hours enduring the elements. She did not mention what channels arc available to Mili tary wives while their husbands Are at work her Citer gave me the impression that hey this is the Way military life in bile the Bullet and accept ill to Start with military wives and heir goals arc changing and expanding not All of us stay Home Ali Day wailing for our husbands. More military wives Are pursuing degrees in higher education and establishing careers. I for one worked hard in College sustained year and a half separation from my husband to do this and have an extremely rewarding career which inc Dently is just As important As my husband s career you can stand by your Man in All respects but this does not mean you should live Only for him and be available every waking moment to Cook clean and care for kids. As far As 1 am concerned this is an archaic attitude which subsequently leads to an unsatisfying and unequal relationship. Those military wives who do not wish to pursue full Lime Careen have several other options. There Are Many Community agencies needing Volunteer. Why not Volunteer a couple hours a Day get involved wit Community organizations or Volunteer associations. Join a Library Craft or exercise group. Why not help out in your child s school if you have a Small infant Check to see if your Community has a women s support Center where differ ent classes Are offered at a minimal Cost and usually a Nursery is available there Are too Many rewarding and great things to do rather than stay at Home. To each and every unhappy and unsatisfied military wife out there Start living for yourself set attainable goats and pursue them and of yes try not to forget your husband while doing this. Christina a judge Smith Frankfurt every woman in the world has her own Type of stress and things to Cope with the military wife regardless of the Branch of service has to Cope with the Lon hours and sometimes Days and months apart from her spouse. At these times the wives must take on the role of Mother and father financial manager doctor sole supporter and Backbone of the family. The stress on these women is rising at a horrible ale. Sometimes they find the wrong Way to Cope with this stress such As drugs and alcohol and most often child abuse. There Are women s support centers inane Branch of the service but what about friends Foj those of us living overseas it is very hard to be a from families and friends Back in the states. These inc people we would normally turn to in times of s and pressure. This Type of stress More often than not. Luis into severe depression. Our husbands have Job to do. They do seem Load just easier than the housewife Wilh three Small Chil Dren and Bills to pay not knowing anyone closely As Friend. Friends can be one of the greatest things a person could Ever have at these times. When people move As often As the military family friends can be the support we need. They Are there when a shoulder to cry on is needed or a Day out even if it is just far awoke. Life As a military wife can be a very lonely one. The Field problems that last for weeks or months can add to this loneliness. Taking on the total responsibility of the household can seem like such a big and scary  Are ways to Cope with this though they May not work for All of these women. Doing the Bill paying and taking on some new Dulles a can bring a More fulfilling feeling to some women. T idea of being needed and counted on can be a real boost in ego and your feeling of Worth. For the h wife whose Normal duties include cleaning and a Fig for the children laundry and Alt other Hogue Jiw duties it can bring on a sense of Relief Relief we the boredom of everyday things. For the husband on Field duty or Lempar duty Itcan be a Relief also knowing he has left a pts in order and in capable hands no husband Inu to come Home to past due rent electricity shall but. And House hold items repossessed he Trust a wife to handle these situations As he would if he Jfe there. Time spent together discuss the upcoming meld duly or toy and telling a aether your fears and needs will be a big help.  plays a big part in any marriage be military or civilian. Being Able to discuss eve rhythm a m Bills to medical prob lems can help relieve aah Rype of stress that May have to be coped Wilh who left Are separated. As a military Wivi know that dealing with the lonely nights can by Pard for those who do have Chil Dren ibis Lime a tube very Busy. This Loo. Can be release from stolid children can be a big plus games can be  can help Wilh Homework visit a zoo or Many Tobt things. Try to make the Best of this Lime. Of  your children will sense it and that canted to Short tempers and arguments. Try Lokeel to japs on a Happy and Normal level. If you can go throw Wincse Days As if nothing has changed you will Sec Ptg difference in not Only your Altitude but i Udren Saswell. Einz apart from the one we love can be a very hard no. Try not to let this gel you Down think ahead to Hen he comes Home. Plan a night for just the two of you. Whether it be a candlelight dinner or just a Ham Burger and a movie. Show him in Small ways How much you Are Gad he is Home. He will feel so much better and be so much More relaxed knowing you coped on your own. There arc so Maity Thi Craft classes exercise find something Sohappy and fulfilled upswing. Your maj " your new outly meet new frien what could i Good in As full of. Thai life a than Ift Rcd for wives such Asir is. And College courses you and make yourself you will find your life on an t and family will also gain fro life and yourself. You will also Start some lifelong memories of a very lonely Lour overseas i Hope thai your tour overseas will be iries As mine. Just always remember full and Happy but Only if we make it e withheld Germany is is in response to some of your letters that com fit on the title of spouse and the stereotypes thai company such a word. All married people have a spouse. Some Are female in gender and some Are male. I am a female spouse and frankly very lived of hearing other spouses both male and female telling me what i should do Ai should be. I am me whether that Means thai i and what stand by my Man or i retain my birth name and pursue my life s goals and dreams or even develop and maintain a career instead of a family of 2.5 children a dog two cats fish tank Garden and a station Wagon is my business. If i want to Cook sew. Clean do laundry and chauffeur the kids around town or perhaps write a Book study to be a nuclear physicist become Politi Cally Active or save the whales is a Choice that i make forme being married brings sacrifices not death. It s a two Way Street Ifni at limes requires one to sacrifice More than the Oiher. Of Bolh spouses in the marriage Are truly considered equal than Only Short term individual goals will be pursued so that both partner shave a Chance to self actualize without becoming a Burden or a Crutch to the Oiher member. Sacrifices Are different for each individual marriage so those of you who practice wagging your Finger and telling other people what they should or should not do or should or should not be think first. Carol p. Harrison Bitu Holder Germany i m seeing red All i can say to that uninformed lady is consider where your place would be if you lost your dear husband through a divorce or death. No we Don l like to discuss these things. But be realistic get some Job skills to strike out on your own. Staying in a dependent situation sharing Only what his career yields is nol doing your self Este Many Good. I m not saying you should run out and join now or anything just consider your future in a different Light realize you arc just As important As he is. You need not be a second class citizen. Kay Romblad Frankfurt cafes defends sales of foreign products the falling of the Dollar is the direct ref of Ameri cans Rushing out to Purchase foreign maj goods with out thought As to who pays for their Manly paycheck. When americans buy american mad Ghods there is a direct relationship to the strength aft Dollar. An american working in the hoi end pays taxes to keep us overseas and the Dollar stamp. When an Amer ican purchases a foreign made Apo for instance for eign workers profit from this Jaf canc not the United states. There was a time when Raff can workmanship and Quality was not of the so Friesl level but this has changed. Foreign made ens May be at the time of Purchase somewhat Cheaver but in the Long run they Cost much More in up Jap and in the Protection of american values. A very Large dial off the Dollar is our worldwide Post exch Ige by Sleski making Money. This business works on a basis Omro Fil not of Quality. An example of this is the Laif amount of foreign made goods inthe audio Section foreign Madi audio items Are lower priced 10 begin with and Are a Sale much More often than Quality made America audio goods. The whole world knows that the bes made audio equipment is made in the United Slaw but through a system of false information the a Soldier does not know it. We arc of Given the Chance 10 make judgments of authority in the Post Exchange system. I would like to know Why this system does not further the american Way of Fife. Lave of my country Means More to me than your Large profit margins what Are you important leaders doing to win the Trade War Are you driving on to win in your foreign made Auto to the beat of America com ing from your foreign made car stereo do i gel an answer slating everyone is doing every thing possible thai can be done or will America and i get a helping hand born in the  Means More than just lip service. Staff sgt Harold w. Goodman Schweinfurt Germany with All the emphasis on buying american to the extent that our government is in Yang to devalue the Dollar to Force americans to Purchase Domestic products i want to ask Why cafes carries so Many for eign made items especially in the audio visual depart ment. I think too much emphasis is placed on the greater Quality of foreign built items. 1 suggest thai the Quality of . Products has greatly improved and these goods deserve another look when we make major purchases. Senior airman Gregory j. Fremder Billburg a Germany editor s note col. Donald e. Gilbert Deputy commander to. Cafes Europe replies your Contention that american audio items should be carried in your Exchange just int valid.  electronics Arent widely available. There Are a few is. Product of esoteric components but these products collectively nuke up iks than i percent of the Market. Stereo components tvs Vars and most other audio video items Are almost exclusively nude in the far East primarily in up a mid Korea. Even item Wilh is. Brand Dames ire  id he far East. If we eliminated items not made in America there d be no audio departments in on stores. As for other foreign made goods cafes Stock these items for two valid reasons first our customers want them and will buy them on the Economy if we Don l Stock them. Second we can offer these products to our Cullom m Al a lower Price than 9 generally available fro commercial outlets. On merchandising decisions will continue to be based on several key Curtoni current Market data from the states. A specific product s track record performance in the cafes Market. Quality of after Sale service to our customers. In the final analysis the cafes customer deter mine what we Stock. If a product Sells we continue to Slock it if it does to we drop it from on inventory. It s important to remember that shopping your Exchange enhances cafes earnings generating Money that s returned directly to you in the form of a Var contributions and improved facilities. A final note cafes began an Active program Tut All to put additional emphasis on buying american. Ask that you visit your store and ask the manager to explain the made in a a program to you and show Yon featured merchandise manufactured in the states