European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 28, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns in the Days of old when sports were bold by John Windrow Magazine editor i took in a medieval festival at Burg Satz vey Over the weekend and in struck a tender chord in my heart. I could t help but recall my Days As a College jousting Champion Back in the old Tri Sale league. Jousting of course is Long gone As a College sport shoved from the scene by football and basketball. Sports today is certainly exciting but in lacks the purity and innocence of Amateur College jousting. A Hose Bright shining Days when i used to strap on my Armor with the help of my freshman Squire striker mount Roosevelt my Noble Steed and Gallop off to fight for the glory of Catfish College Back in Southeast Missouri. We had the jousts on the College Green and How the students faculty and Village people used to cheer at the sight of me and Roosevelt thundering up Lance held High with the Muddy yellow and Brown colors Oica fish College proudly waving. The students always broke Oul into the famed Catfish chant i him in the knee. Sock him in the jaw. Being out the Merf Wagon Rah Rah Rah the meat Wagon was our nickname for the wooden Stretcher used to haul injured oysters from the Green. There was Gore a plenty believe me. College jousting was no sport for sissies. When some blackguard from cow College Over in West Tennessee whacked you on the Skull with a spiked Mace or ran a spin tiered wooden Lance clean through your Yuhsi just above the knee piece you knew you d been dealt a blow. We often crossed the Mississippi to Challenge the Tennessee boys or Wen Down to Arkansas to oust with the legions of Little Rock. Thai was the old Tri slate league Missouri Tennessee and Arkansas. This was before feminism and Only boys played the girls Sal up in the review stands cheering for their favourites. We used to tie some badge of their favor to our lances. Many a night at the big bonfires and Pep rallies before the tournaments we d ride Over to the girls dorm and beg them to toss Down some article of clothing a bit of lace or ribbon thai we could carry into the Battle the next Day. Most people Don t realize it by that s How panty raid Gol started. There was no Money in jousting Back then no scholarship no endorsements no professional jousting league. After graduation College Justers went out in the world to seek Irir fortunes just like everyone else. There was a Small pension fund for those who d had limbs hacked off. There was precious Little regulation. A ouster got himself a Squire usually some freshman who wanted to be a ouster a Steed and some Armor. All of this came out of his own packet or the pockets of local merchants who sponsored him. I was backed by Funk s donuts shop and had great yellow and Brown donuts painted on the cloth that 1 draped Over Roosevelt Roosevelt did t seem to mind. Frank wanted me to Wear a red donuts on my breastplate but after being knocked shimmy headed by the Arkansas Justers one weekend i realize the red donuts made an Ideal target and e gave it up. Frank understood i have to admit hat Roosevelt assured me my great Success. Roosevelt was a Brahman Bull that weighed Well Over a Ion it was t written Down anywhere that the trusty sleep is had to be horses but most people used them. When Roosevelt decided to charge it was like hanging onto a nuclear missile. Momentum was very important in Jou ti.1g inti of run Welt could Flat generate some momentum. I remember squaring off against a tennessean who decided to ride a Tennessee walking horse a crowd pleasing move but not especially Bright. Tennessee walking horses step about prettily and loss their Heads Tike chorus girls but they re slow. I la never forget the look on that horse s face when Roosevelt and i bore Down on him i could t see the Tennessee boy s fact1 since he was wearing a helmet but he ended up on the meal Wagon like so Many others who challenged us once Down in Little Rock the Arkansas team got to drinking before the tournament and decided to ride wild hogs Razorbacks. It made for a comic tournament until one of them ran a Lance into Roosevelt s right from leg. It made me so mad i smashed him d directly on the Crest of his helmet with my Mace. Roosevelt was injured and we missed the rest of the season Why you May ask did College jousting die to i Hill s Why. College jousting was a victim of its own Success. When i started Oul we were Only on radio. That was Fine people could listen in when the Home team was on the Road and a Good announcer Lent color and suspense to the spectacle. But to took a clean Amateur sport and turned it into a Money maker. Once jousting captured the minds of the masses there was too much Money floating around. When id million tune in to watch Catfish College take on cow College the Sleazy element will invariably show up. Boosters started to offer Justers better steeds stronger Armor fancier weapons and Cash payment. Simple farm boys who showed a flair for jousting were soon taking Cash to attend a particular school. Academic standards went to hell. Some Guys ousted for six or seven years while majoring in Fly Rod casting or Basket weaving Justers were graduating from old Catfish College who could t read or write. And the half time shows. Some and Man realized that the original crusaders had brought belly dancers Back to Europe after he War against Saladin they started having these Sleazy half time show with belly dancers and Pom Pom ladies in waiting pure sexual exploitation. The worst were the cow College cowgirls a couple of Justers were seriously injured when they could t keep their eyes off the sidelines and were  by i hair Rcv the big gambling scandal Down in Arkansas did the sport in. The Public realized he tournaments were fixed and College jousting had gone the Way of professional wrestling but it was a Noble Manly sport when Roosevelt and i were in our prime. See our Story on the medieval festival at Burg a Fivey on pages 4 and s. Graduation from College not a fund raising event by miss manners untied feature Syndicate dear miss manners is it Correct to tend out College or University graduation Cardi a year and a Hall latest the card do not have a Date on them. Our ton it going Back to Grad school now to can Ute the fund. I never Leitl out graduation announcement Cardi for him. Gentle Reader what about birth announcements did you Send them out when your son was born High school graduation Twenty first birthday maybe you should Send out a Complete package All at once. Lei s nol Overlook any Opportunity to raise Money. Graduation announcements Are made at the time of the graduation in order to notify people who May be presumed to be interested. They Are not Bills. A perfectly proper response to such an announcement is a letter of congratulations not a contribution to the graduate s future. Friends May certainly Send presents on special occasions if they Are so moved but they Are not required to make child support payments due on Milestone occasions. So no you May nol Send out overdue Bill notifications. If Here is anyone you neglected to Tell about your son s graduation you May mention the fact to thai person in a letter. Dear miss manners t am a happily married 40-year-old male who works in an insurance office with numerous Young women i have been there nine years. Occasionally during that time one Young woman or another has made obvious passes at me. I do not have a set Way of handling this problem. Usually the lady backs off when i Cool the situation but i. Couple of them have been very aggressive and As a remit have Felt rebuffed and Hurt when i indicated i was nol interested i do not want to be responsible for Hurt feelings. Can you give me insights into How to handle this Brt Terl gentle Reader it is port of every Young lady s education to learn How to say no miss manners is astonished to find lha some gentlemen can go quite a distance through life without having mastered this skill. Ladies know that the sort of hurl pouting that rejected gentlemen engage in in the Hope of creating the responsibility to accept them As a sort of duty toward mental health is nol to be taken seriously. The easiest Way to reject an Advance is to pretend to be so obtuse As not la notice it. Failing that it is kind to make your rejection part of your general situation the fact that you Are married rather than a reaction to the particular suitor. But if neither of these is sufficient you must stale plainly that you Are not interested. Naturally the lady is going to be disappointed in any of these instances and the More blatantly she forces you to spell things out the More embarrassment she is bringing on herself. But finally there is no Way that you can reject someone effectively without making her feel rejected. That is the idea. Miss manners promises you a they will All live through it. Have a question on etiquette write to miss manners in care of the stars and stripes Apo 0921j, your question will be forwarded to her. Miss manners regrets that she can Only answer questions in her column. Hripto Migu int nay 23, 1987