European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 11, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns the gun fired feathers flew and Sarah fell by John Windrow Magazine editor once upon a time i had a Bantam rooster i named fearless because he was. Fearless did t realize that he was less than a foot tall and weighed Only a few pounds beak comb claws feathers guts and All fearless was Long on the guts. Fearless lived for one thing the love of the attack born in a heart of joyous courage. I did t understand it at the time but i realize now it was a sexual thing. He was insanely jealous of his 12 hens and hurtled himself at anything he Felt was a threat to his territory. Evidently he considered my old Man the chief enemy. I had t reached puberty at the time and fearless left me alone. My dad would be leaning against a Fence and feel something brushing against his trouser leg. Eventually he would look around and there was fearless furiously flapping his Black Gold speckled wings pecking madly with his yellow beak tearing with his Home claws. My old Man would turn slowly thoughtfully and then propel fearless skyward with a mighty kick. The Little rooster would Salt through the air feathers Drifting gently Down i his path and land on the run soldering with hatred. He d Dart around the Comer of the smokehouse and position himself to attack anew his Little red eyes shifting Back and Forth with rage. Fearless attacked cats dogs Swine even cattle and horses. Finally one Day something did him in. R suspected a Raccoon. I have no doubt the Coon was minding his own business when suddenly he realized that fearless had fallen upon him like a Kamikaze crashing itself into the deck of an aircraft Carrier. Fearless came to mind the other Day when i read about Evie Seay in the stars and stripes. Evie is 86 bless her heart and lives in grand Bay Ala. The associated press made her briefly famous with a dispatch on the loss of her rooster. The sheriff Down in grand Bay has agreed to pay Evie $15 for her rooster which was gunned Down by one of his deputies. It s a strange tale. The Deputy Paul Edmondson showed up to Deal with a Domestic disturbance in Evie s neighbourhood. He says he walked into Evie s Yard and the rooster named Sarah attacked and he shot him in self defense. Perhaps he was trying for a warning shot to Wing Sarah or Stop him with a carefully placed round in the knee. I had a Cousin in my Hometown who claimed he shot the toes off All the sheriffs chickens with a .22-caliber Rifle rigged with a tin can and Burlap bag for a Silencer when he was a kid but that s another Story it s hard to hit a rooster i any particular spot especially in the Blind heat of a ferocious attack and Sarah was wounded mortally. The a did t say if Sarah was rushed to a Hospital. In Alabama i rather doubt it. If it had been los Angeles i m sure Sarah would have been hauled off in a clanging ambulance and slapped onto a heart lung machine while a worldwide to Appeal went out for donor organs. All of that of course is irrelevant at the moment As far As Sarah is concerned. There Are some who will scream about police brutality. I say let s give the Lawman the Benefit of the doubt. Maybe Sarah like fearless was nuts. First of All How would you like to be a rooster named Sarah All the other roosters snickering All the time and tormenting you with snide remarks about having a feminine name going out to scratch for feed with the girls today Sarah of Sarah Don t we look Nice today Lay any big ones lately Sarah it could get pretty miserable. Perhaps Sarah Felt driven compelled to constantly prove his masculinity. That s Why he attacked an armed officer of the Law. Maybe Sarah wanted to end it All and chose Deputy Edmondson As the unwitting agent of his destruction. There s another Angle to this. Evie had a guard dog named Bear on the scene. Where was Bear while All this was going on cowering under the porch because according to Evie Bear is afraid of guns. So Brave Sarah girded up his loins and defended the old Homestead All alone. I have never met Evie Seay but she obviously has a weird sense of humor. Many of us southerners do she gives her suicidally courageous rooster a Hen s name. But her guard dog that runs and hides when trouble comes is named after one of nature s fiercest beasts. I used to Hunt with a Blu Etick hound that was afraid of guns. If you fired once she ran All the Way Home. I used to carry my gun under my coat and Hope for a Good first shot. Nothing like Hunting with a concealed weapon. Mans the Day i went Home empty handed. If i could have trained fearless to Hunt with me i d have probably had the local Fauna on the verge of extinction. But fearless would never have gone so far away from his hens and they were Loo Many to drag along. Besides How could you sneak up on any game with 13 chickens i Tell you one thing if that Deputy had taken on fearless it might have been a different Story. It just depends on How much ammo he had wild him. What s the bashful boy to do Why just say no by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners my grandson 15, would he to know what tactful answer he could make to an invitation to a dance from a girl he really does t on to take. He u hoping that another he would like to Lake will invite him. Gentle Reader miss manners thinks it Likely that you know the answer to this question from your girlhood and Are unnecessarily distracted by the gender reversal. The proper reply is of i d love to thank you for asking me but i just can to with no excuses Given your grandson is free to accept a better offer which will then be assumed to have been a previous engagement All without his making a single misleading statement. Dear miss manners my co workers and i know that one should never eat from a Container or Carton but what about Coffee or teat almost everyone picks up a Container of Coffee every morning. Mint we Transfer it to a regular cup must we have a Saucer Are mugs acceptable gentle Reader what do you mean must if you do not will miss manners come to your office every morning and Knock the paper cups out of your hands no. Why should she someone probably you is bound to Knock them Over anyway All Over the work you just finished. Ask rather if life and Coffee Many people think you really cannot have one without the other will be More pleasant if you use cups and saucers. Yes indeed. Dear miss manners what to the Correct response when your pregnant friends insist on showing you the photographs from their sonograms this has happened to me three times and i somehow feel that saying of How cute is inappropriate. Any suggestions gentle Reader none better than of How  miss manners presents her compliments to you. Dear miss manners i was seated at a counter i my favorite restaurant enjoying my dinner when a lady asked me i minded moving Over one Stool so that she and her daughter could sit together since there was one empty Stool on either Side of me. I might add that these stools Are not stationary and Are very difficult to get on. I told her i minded moving Over and let it go at that however she began making remarks about me which i ignored. I would like to know if it is Correct to disturb people while they Are eating. Was she Correct in asking me to move gentle Reader exactly How difficult is it to get up on those stools and if it is a major climbing feat Why is this your favorite restaurant no the lady was not rude to make you such a reasonable request. But she was rude to make remarks about you in retaliation for your so unreasonably refusing a civil request. Dear miss manners we live in a Community that consists mainly of retired people 60 and 70 year Olds. The social scene verges on the ridiculous. A Friend told me that she and her husband at one Point were indebted to 150 couples. When you Are warm Friendly people As they Are who hate to owe anyone or worse Hurt anyone s feelings How do you hold Down your engagements to one or two week even More Tricky How do you see the people you Are really fond of and skip the rest to make it worse the Community is Small and everyone knows that you Aren t out of town or Don t have House guests. What do you say to the hostess who Calls two months ahead of time please mis manners help gentle Reader How did All these people manage to reach their 60s and 70s without knowing How to say no gracefully the Way to avoid social debts is to refrain from incurring them. This Means that you do not just drop by someone s party in the Hope of being polite and then despair because politeness requires you to reciprocate. What you do is to decline invitations politely of i m so sorry. We won t be Able to make it. Thank you so much for thinking of  even in Large towns it is unwise to claim that one b leaving town or having House guests. There is a punitive social Law operating in the universe by which anybody who does this will be caught red handed by the prospective hosts who will have done something like cancelling the party and going around collecting for Charity that night in the prospective guests neighbourhood instead. As for limiting your engagements that is something to which you can Freer admit. It is especially useful for those months in Advance invitations. We find we really can t manage going out that often and it just happens we be already made More engagements for May than we should have. But thank you so much your party sounds like great  t tripes Magazine june it 1987