European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 27, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Kids need to be kids by Bernard Schoenburn associated press Arents and teachers Rushing to Insl in More skills in children Al earlier Ages May be croaking unhappy people who will Long Lor he childhood they never had a psychologist said. We have to recognize that children arc not digital clocks. They go on biological Lime said David Etkind. A clinical psychologist and professor at Chile study Al Tufts University in Medford. Mass. During a recent interview Elkind Cilcy increases in teen age suicide and eating disorders since the trend began in the 1960s. Olen we re not giving kids the kind of fundamental learning that they need he said. They know a lot More than they  children can be shortchanged with Broad but shallow knowledge if they Are Laughl. For example to Road and Wile before they have a Good understanding o language Elkind said. Parents or guardians should t worry if a 3-year-old is not learning tort and because Here Are other things to be discovered Al that age Elkind said. Whal children need to do is explore to said. They re no born Wilh concepts of up and Down Square and round Blue and Black. We Don Loach High school curriculum Al the Junior High  to said. Why should we Leach Tho elementary curriculum at the pro school level Elkind spoke Al a three Day meeting in Chicago of of Frima children new Lime to explore says a psychologist and professor of child study at Tufty University the Valiona association of Homes for children recently. The Millbrook  group represents non profit residential Loster Caro centers. Eikin s books on child development include hurried child All grown up and no place to go and one that will be released nox month. Misc Duclion preschoolers at risk. He said that through television even preschoolers know about Rock stars and clothes kids really Don t need to be concerned Aboul that sort of thing. They should to concerned about playing Wilh the dog playing with friends and building with  single parents or families in which both parents work often find advanced learning programs a Good Way to induce children to act More like adults and slay out of the Way. Parent Are very stressed and it s helpful if children grow up faster he said. It s convenient to have kids who can Lake care of fiem saves. It becomes a rationalization Hal it s Lor the child s own Good that i m putting a child in his program Elkind said. That gets us off the  Elkind said he does not oppose out of Home programs but said parents should realize the stress involved in some of the activities and show their children they understand and care by explaining their Lime constraints. Increases in teen age suicide drug and alcohol abuse and eating disorders May reflect an increase in people who feel Ifrey have missed childhood Edmnd said. In his counselling work he said he sees Many people who seem to mourn for a lost childhood it s almost a sadness he said. These people have a kind of emptiness that can never be filled. Childhood is a stage of Lite Elkind said. We Don t want to hurry old ago. Why should we hurry childhood taking Stock of schoolchildren s needs Cox news services Larm clocks car pools. Left lunches and misplaced Pancis school has begun and the flexible Days of summer eel Long gone replaced by a balancing act of new schedules and responsibilities. Is s not Loo Lale to Lake Stock o review last year s problems and proven new ones in general we work belter and Are More Likely to succeed when we know the expectations others have Olus. During Tho first weeks of school teachers present the rules and advise students about classroom procedures. The More you know Aboul those requirement the More you can help your child assume responsibility Tor them. Nybo you should help a 6-year-old remember his lunch or closely Monitor the Homework of some 8-year Olds but should you assume Iho same responsibilities for it year Olds what should be your role in your child s education Here Are some suggestions to help you answer that question. Before there s a problem initiate communication Wilh your child s teacher. Allend the firs Parent teacher meeting or arrange for a conference. Your goal is to become familiar with the educational program and the teacher s expectations your presence Mill Snow your child and his Leacher that education is important to you. That you support i hair efforts. Also you will learn valuable Inlo Malion that will help you Leach your child How to organize Lor the school year. Design a Homework plan with each child the ultimate goal is to remove yourself from this Effort bul initially you must be involved. Help your child find a quiet study spol and a definite place to keep his school supplies thai will make i easier to Lind them each morning. Together decide when Homework will be done on a regular basis. Some children need Lime to unwind Atler school before lacking Homework. Oiher children will be More successful it they do their Homework before playing. Then playtime serves As an incentive to Complete Iho tasks. Match your involvement Wilh your child s needs. A younger child Musi earn How to study. Children who have difficulty studying also will need More supervision at first. Help the child Structure his Lime and task. You May need to Sil near him As he works. Split work periods Wilh a break and help him Divide the work Inlo manageable parts As your child becomes successful in completing assignments remove yourself irom direct supervision. Let him know you Are available to answer questions and that you d like to co his work when he s done. When there Are errors encourage him to review ims work lolling him Correct himself when he can. Lead. To term photo parents should talk to train children Huc want and become familiar with the tote Hon expectation. Him to the answer Wilh a guiding question or a bit of information. If your child has repealed difficulty Wilh a topic discuss it Wilh the teacher. Teach Long term organizational skills. When planning your schedule or budgeting Lime to accomplish a task whether it s a business report or birthday parly share the process with your child. If your child has a special project test or Book report coming up Mark it on the Calendar too. Then working backward irom the due Dale help him decide what he must do each Day to accomplish his goal so that he will be a planner rather than a Crammer. Have realistic expectations. Talk Wilh your child s Leacher or the school Counselor to gain an understanding of your child s potential and level of achievement. A review of achievement or other tests May give you the information you need. Sometimes it May be appropriate o request further Lesting by the school if you advocate that doing your Best is Good enough then a child often never eels Good about his Etlor. Rather help him set reasonable goals. If he s made a c in math this semester does he think he might be Able to improve to a a what will this require help him define the Exira Effort 10 minutes More study Lime daily Homework checks tutoring. Use a family meeting to solve problems. Create a special Lime during the week to Pat each other on the Back and to identify kinks in lha routine. Not meant to be a Gripe session Here s the perfect Opportunity to resolve problems and prevent disputes. Is getting Margaret up in the of Ning a problem did Sam leave his lunch Home three limes last week or is dinner running so late that bedtime gets pushed Back each evening design a solution then try it Oul and evaluate the results at he next meeting. Use a Kitchen timer to Leach your child to study longer. Set True Limer Lor the length of time he is ate to study. Add one minute each time he studies until he is Able to concen Laie or a reasonable time. When us Bell rings Praise his efforts Lor studying More and Page 16 the stars and stripes sunday september 27,1s87