European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 27, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Shame Steps into sharper focus by Daniel Golem an new York times psychologists. Admittedly chagrined end a Lille embarrassed Ara belatedly focusing on shame a prevalent and powerful emotion thai somehow escaped rigorous scientific examination until now. Everybody experiences shame but Par of the reason ii has been so elusive in psychological terms is Hal it has been overshadowed by the study of guilt. It is also difficult to measure and harder to bring into the open than Many other emotions that researchers study with ease. Shame is emerging As a master emotion that influences Alt the others. Us development is being traced Back through childhood and its Roto in a wide Range o human experience from spurring the greatest of accomplishments to the bitterest of marital fights is newly appreciated. Much of the discomfort people feel in personal relationships May derive from shame experts say. Some kinds of violence May be rooted in it others say. And according to some the Way shame is handled in psychotherapy May determine the length and effectiveness of treatment. Shame it a matter emotion regulating the expression of other feelings said Thomas Scheff. A sociologist at the University of California at Santa Barbara who presented a paper on shame at the annual meeting of the american sociological association in Chicago last month. Whenever shame enters the picture we inhibit the free expression of emotion with the exception of anger said Scheft. Who studies the sociology of emotions. Unlike other emotions which tend to pass with time or with a catharsis like weeping shame is the emotion most difficult to admit and to discharge Scheff said. Also shame is the most private of emotions. Shame May be one of the Only emotions for which no facial expression has evolved said or. Paul Ekman a psychologist at the University of California at san Francisco who is an expert on facial expression. Turning away or hiding the face in some Way Are the Only objective signs of  researchers Are now beginning to use these indirect signs of shame in observations studies of infants and Small children to study How and when shame emerges in development. Guilt usually refers to feelings about an act a transgression real or imagined. It Doe not necessarily bring with it self loathing As shame does. Shame goes to one s Basic sense of self and is most often experienced As embarrassment or humiliation. Shame is in Many instances a Normal enough feeling but i becomes emotionally dangerous when in starts to color one s most Basic idea about who one is or How worthy one is. Normal shame might result from seeing a dark secret a not terribly honorable motive for helping a Friend for instance slip out. But pathological shame would be when Hal same feeling arises with every rebuke or Small failure or As a subtext in All one s relationships because of some presumed character Law such As a constant feeling of dependency. Later this year an International group of researchers will be brought together at a conference sponsored by the Sloan foundation to discuss methods for studying shame in children. We know much too Little about shame said he organizer of the conference. Or. Joseph Campos a developmental psychologist at the University of Illinois. It s been the ignored emotion in psychology feelings of shame begin to emerge in the second year of life Al the very formation of the infant s sense of self developmental psychologists say. As the infant realizes that he is a separate person he is first Able to understand that others Are directing emotional messages to him. Pride and shame appear Pride Al pleasing others and shame at displeasing them. Babies know Al a very Early Ege whether their Mother is angry or Happy but they do not yet know in in is because of them said Campos. By 16 or 18 months though they begin to be aware of whether the feelings Are directed Al  the infant comes to understand that what he does can determine those feelings and that can Lead to either Pride or shame. You see shame clearly for instance in a 2-year-old who soils his pants he looks Down or away to avoid Contact said Campos. Psychoanalysts Trace an extreme sense of shame to an Early childhood in which parents did not respond with empathy and attention to the child s strivings to show his competence. Because the child feels that his efforts do not matter to the Parent he grows up feeling inferior and unlovable. In studies of violent men under treatment at the Brentwood veterans administration Hospital in los Angeles Melvin Lansky the psychiatrist in charge found that shame played a key role in family violence among patients there. Most of the violent men Lansky found had psychological vulnerabilities a history of psychosis or minor brain damage Tor instance that made them especially dependent on their wives to function Well. Without their wives help they believed they would be overwhelmed and disorganized. At the same Lime the men were ashamed that they were so dependent. They were particularly humiliated by remarks by their wives that made them Leel incompetent and typically they reached with rage and violence. When marital partners use shaming As a weapon their fights escalate dramatically Scheff said. A sense of Shams drives some people to build an inflated self image through the Pursuit of Fame and excessive amounts of Money they Hope to convince themselves of their Worth and livability through their accomplishments. Entire families can share feelings of shame Over such events As a suicide or bankruptcy or problems like an alcoholic Parent. The sense of shame can persist Over generations according to Marilyn Mason a Amily therapist at the University of Minnesota medical school who is co author of facing shame families m recovery published by  Norton the family s implicit Rule becomes not to talk about painful life experiences of All kinds said Mason. The sense of shame leads them to become emotionally controlled and to set demanding standards for  the single most effective antidote to shame some studies suggest is a person s laughter at himself an observation made by Freud. In research by Suzanne ret Zygar. A student o Scheuf those people who were Able to laugh at their own accounts of feeling humiliated and resentful had an immediate drop in their feelings of shame but shame persisted in those people who were unable to laugh at themselves. Feelings of shame can also be alleviated it the person can admit them openly to others and teals respected instead of judged by them. Helen Stock Lewis a psychologist at Yale University was among the first to study the role of shame in psychotherapy. She proposed that intense shame led Many patients to fare poorly in psychotherapy. In a study of transcripts from 160 psychotherapy sessions Lewis found Hal when the therapist failed to recognize a patient s feelings of shame the patient s problems were prolonged or worsened. But when the therapist recognized the shame and helped the patient Deal with it treatment was More effective and Shorter. Shame is the tacit Issue in psychotherapy but its importance has been under recognized by Many therapists said or. Donald l Nathanson. A psychiatrist at Hahnemann University in Philadelphia who is editor of Tofta Many faces at Shams recently published by Guilford press Freud thought hat when a patient was silent in indicated anxiety he interpreted it As  Nathanson said but silence often indicates the patient is embarrassed he s ashamed to say what he is thinking. " sunday september 27, 1987 the stars and stripes Page 17