European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - October 20, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Of for them to Walch. And plugging them in then. 1 began to observe my use of television with Iofi kids and the Way they wore watching. My kids when they watched to seemed different irom when they played o slept Thoy looked hypnos izod " from the beginning it was t what her kids watched but How much that struck mane Winn As significant. While she was also concerned about the worthwhile activities Reading music Homework that were displaced by television viewing i was primarily the one Way nature of television that bothered her. The kind of attention you pay to it is different from two Way activities she says. There Ere a variety of children with a variety of vulnerabilities. Obviously nol every child gels hooked. But often you find at least one of these in a family the child who seems to Zero in with excessive attention on the tube. The child who wants to Walch Loo much who is hard 1o distract Lufe  like any concerned. 60s Mother Winn turned to Tho child care experts for advice. Bui most of the books and Magazine articles she found focused on Content. There was Little about the acl of watching television. If she wanted solid research she would Havo to do hoi own. Ten boart after her landmark took the plug in  Maria Winn after additional research hat come up with anew Guidebook of fearless parents and adventurous children who want to take part in a daring Experiment surviving a week without to. Ita title unplugging the plug to drug in s tantrums you May feel like you re doing nothing but removing your reaction is i he quickest Way to curb the behaviour. Although tantrums feel like they last forever when you Lime each one you May discover that eternity lasts Only seven minutes. If you can t totally ignore your child then offer a Choice. It May help you persevere it you remember that your child is capable of starting a Tantrum so he s also quite Able to Stop one. But some children work themselves up to such a pitch that they Don t know How to atop and save lace so offer a Choice. Karl you May nol Hava any More cookies but when you Stop crying we can 90  the comment May be met by More screams because you have just attended to the Tantrum. Now return to ignoring. Use a timeout As an alternative if you know you can t ignore the screams whining or kicking then try another approach. Select a Boring spot like a chair away irom you and the rest of the family. It s not Means to be a scary place rather e place removed from the action when the child begins a Tantrum say you May have a Tantrum but i do nol have to listen to  accompany the child to the timeout chair set a timer for the number of minutes of the child s age Lour minutes for a 4 year old six Lor a 6-year old Tell the child if he is Quiel when the Bell rings and willing to cooperate he will be Able to gel out of inc chair you May have to closely supervise with your physical presence or place a hand on the shoulder of the resistant child follow through in Public when your child begins a Tantrum for Candy at the checkout Corner say no ignore the cries Complete your transaction and leave the store. Timeout is also effective. In the department store or restaurant when your child does t cooperate give him a warning thai s one. Two three strikes and it s  use a quiet Corner or a dressing room or return to the car with your child and sit nut the timeout period. Tell your child that you can return when he is ready to cooperate. Sometimes to prove you mean what you say you May have la interrupt your shopping expedition and return Home. Don t let the child use tantrums to avoid responsibility. When the Tantrum ends Don t comment but do Welcome the child Back or Lell him you Are pleased to have his cooperation tantrums Are great distractions. Though. So Don l forget thai you asked your child to Pul away the toys Belore the tears began Praise cooperation. Most important As your child s tantrums shorten and she begins to accept your no s More easily Praise her Coope Rahon with a Stop by step approach land rums and Olio annoying behaviour can be decreased parenting tip children want your attention and approval More than anything else Praise your child for what he s doing right try keeping a Good behaviour diary Lor Ono week write Down the Good things your child docs and. He lore be Limo. Share 1he notes with your child notice your child s reaction to hearing Good things about himself nol Long alter those first observations about her own children s viewing habits Iho tone to set in Tho household went on the blink it was never repaired b in was replaced some years Laler. There s a to More empty Lime in your lives without  Winn says. Her children filled theirs with word games and Puz Joes music and books. How did then Mother manage to write books Al Homo without relying on television to Koch her kids occupied naps she says firmly i m a Strong believer in  today son Steve is a professional violinist Mike is a journalist who As a loan Ager was already a published author. His Book beyond crossword quiz los. A volume of original word games was an outgrowth of a course he laugh at the now school As a 15-year-old in discussing the television thing As mane Winn has come to refer to it i Hale to make Mysell an example she says. I m a different  and so she is. Winn moved to new York from Prague Czechoslovakia at the ago of 2 with her Mother a lawyer and her lather a neurologist and a poet who also wrote a literary column in his native language her Sisler. Janet Malcolm Wriles for the new yorker Magazine. It s not just Chance that we both became writers says Winn. In our Home education great emphasis was placed on words our dinner table conversations were about etymology meanings the logical devices la Lor. My own family played huge amounts of word games and  Winn and her husband still Hue in the same upper West Side apartment where they reared their children Chien Luna que reads the signs on the front floor Trie dog turns out nol to Bocra a just old and hat. Inside old family portraits Are displayed on a grand piano and floor to ceiling bookshelves Are lined with Ine classics. The european intellectual decor seems an Ideal backdrop for Winn. Avant Garde in her Woven Cotton dress and Bare feel grading hair and Lor Loise Shell Redding glasses Between books she contributes pieces to the new York times sunday Magazine and translates russian and czechoslovakian tila Aluie weekends Are spent at the couple s Lolevia sinless country House in upscale new York. In her interviews with thousands of american families Winn did Lind some who concluded their no to experiments by deciding to give up television for Good others have adopted new rules Banning television on school nights while larger numbers have set aside one or two nights a Weck As no to nights. One anxiety is the Parent who worries thai choir kids will become social creeps without it Winn says they won t be Able to discuss the latest shows they won t be popular what makes a kid popular s How Lunny Nice Lun kind and generous he is not whal he watches on to even in families who Don l own televisions she says kids wind up watching to. My own kids watched some to they just watched in elsewhere. It s healthy Lobo a Par of your culture to know what s going on " that she can l recall the last program she watched on to is an admission she makes w