European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 14, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page the stars and stripes thursday. January 14,19ss column apologize but whatever for by Russell Baker new York americans arc cruel to their journalists they say we would rather Lake cyanide than confess error. Nonsense. I am no different from the nest journal Isi and i am always eager to retract and apologize if i make an error. The truth is 1 love to confess to error and wish i could do in constantly. Unfortunately i cannot since never seem to make an error. The editor chides me for this weakness. She says it helps a newspaper s credibility to publish a lot of correction. Thro in a Little error now and then so you can follow up with a correction she urges. To err , to forgive divine. Toss in a harmless Lillic error you can apologia for and make the Reader fed  no. Madam editor thai is not my Way. Like presi Dent Niton t will never Lake the easy Way. Much As i would love to Grovel with Apalo Giet for carelessness and Mupi Dily i will never betray my profession by erring deliberately. If or honestly however to i yet May do before my career ends you will not find me too arrogant to confess. I recently hid to explain this to a factotum of Continental airlines who is under the illusion that my column entitled milking a Deadbeat was net out dead wrong in saving his company would t refund Money towed me for cancelled airline tickets. In fact. He us Continental refunded the Money on july -1. A casual Reader might say heavens that was three and a half months before you wrote the column saying Continental would t give in  Here is an example of How easily casual Mcaden ran go wrong when accusing the press of error. The fact is that for technical reasons these columns must be writ in 19 Days before they Ere published. Since the Deadbeat column Wai written on sept. 3d, not on on. 18, when in was published it is wrong to say i had already had the Money far three and a half month when i complained thai the company would t give it Buck. I had had the Money less than three months lint pickers and other Small minds in capable of grasping the philosophical difference Between fact and error will Cavil they will say three months or four months it makes no difference. When you accused Continental of Chisling you d already had the Money for works and probably already spent  Here s the difference in makes t did not in fact have inc Money. Continental had not cent me either a Check Orcas. It had merely instructed a credit card company to credit the Long overdue Money id my account. Is ii a citing your Money Back when a debtor fails to come Ai Ross with a Check Money order or wad of Federal Koru notes that you May then choose to squander or save is it gelling your Money Back when the debtor mates a computer transaction that turns Courmon Yover to  restaurants which you May  to stiff fora few More months before he writes the careful journalist needs to be aware of a Csc Many Subtle nuances of truth. Complaining airlines on inc other hand need not worry Abom such subtleties when they howl injustice it was fun being a Yuppie until the Stock Market ran out of is. Since Ihen it s been pain and suffering. 1 have in first hand from Duffy the  that s to distinguish him from Duffy the Pushcart pretzel Ven Dor who was known As Duffy the scruffy. Duffy the Yuppie for deals Duffy the scruffy for pretzels they used to say in the Street. That s How big my Friend was. You could mention him in the Sam breath with a pretzel Salesman and he Street knew which one you were talking  were the Good old Days. Now it s buddy can you spare a disc time. Tote worst of it for Duffy is the vicious gloating of people who enjoy seeing a Yuppie suf Fer. One Day the Market bombed next Day people he thought friends were suddenly Letl ing Yuppie jokes. These were people who would tit Tel polish jokes norwegian jokes tahitian jokes not even russian  even byelorussian jokes. They were too decent in Hurt anybody feelings by Teumin Gjoke. Except Yuppie  Yuppie joke Wai socially of if it was vicious enough hey  people shouted Al him. How can a Ruppie Tell when ties Gol an elephant in his 1987 Mer duty tried id smile through his pain at the answer. If the passenger asks Matte Are the peanuts instead of How come you re still driving last year s Model it s an  Weil what was he to do the Condo gone the Bow gone the order of leather clothes Wilh italian labels cancelled after the leather people and the italian Label people both said they d have to see some Cash first what with the Stock Market suddenly so wobbly. What he did  move in with his parents. When he sticking of hard limes together until Ronald Reagan could get Roosevelt out of the while House and bring Back serious big Lime  s parents Wen glad to Sec him. Being Long in the tools decrepit and omitted from invitation lists when thereat parties were being readied for the caterer the puffy pen1 and Mere Laid. Of boy Al last we re going to Nave a Little of the youth and fun of Yore in the  it typified inc problems Duffy faced living with his Sweet old folks. No use explaining that life nowadays was too hard for Young people that marriage in such hardship conditions was impossible. The folks would never understand. His problem dissolved when Girlfriend Jess Learned that Duffy s shelter was a House. Duff baby the said much As 1 love you i Creason 1 grew up to be a Yuppie Ess was to gel oui of houses and into condos. I cannot let myself be dragged bark inn thai kind of residential Structure without risking heavy psychological  was not cruel enough to insist on the mutilation especially since mom and pad Duffy had old him he could bring a Yuppie Ess into the House if he wanted to but one of them would have to sleep on the Couch and the other on a col in the  thinks sleeping underground causes the croup. In hard limes you Vegol to Compromise says Duffy which is Why he s trying to persuade mom that beef Wellington is just As easy to make As Macaroni an cheese. 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