European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 14, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns Nielsen signs up an intelligent cultured viewer by Dave Barry Knight Ridder newspapers Tim l know in Irful Yenci. But i always assumed the to ratings were based pm the viewing of people win Mink easily full hair cerebral Conice insole 4 Standard Nihil capsule. I based this opinion on us h evident e As the extreme popularity erf the television show tall eel wheel of very Lime i tune in hut show there s .1 contestant Frev Ninel Vii intense concentrations a group of tellers like i i a up a . Vihon guess in Chr missing Letler is 1 Himi the Iii by miss Vanna while displaying the have nude her one Folh Emesi it spi led a Imlah in the free world turns Over the Blank in of. No 3 "0," causing the live Ludin Ati Ulicni v l with in Nul poking of grief of i ii Lvii normally i a with i1illr,m,Lor pulls 1. Hui Liev Shiv upon the wrong Nigon. 3. But they slay and Walch anyway. Well i was wrong. It Turni out Hinl Iho ratings people sometimes select highly intelligent Mil cultured Sample families. I know this because the Kielsen to ratings company recently selected my own family which has always displayed a High degree of intelligence exc Cpl for Ilic Lime to deliberately invited an Amway distributor into our Home. When you Are a Nielsen family they Send you a Lille diary for each to set you own plus something their Leller Calls a Token of their appreciation two Crisp one Dollar Bills. You May wish to use it to brighten the Day of a child you know the letter suggests. They have a heart As big As All outdoor those Nielsen people. Every Limp you watch ,1 to show you re supposed to write it Down in the Ellary and at the end of a week you Send the diaries Back to the Nielsen people who Send the information to the to network which Send the Nielsen company a. Tokens of Ihler appreciation dumpsters full of Money. Vou May wish to me this Money to buy yourselves a Fleet of Mercedes benzes suggest the networks. I found Hal one of the benefits of being a Nielsen family besides the $2, was thai it gave me a Chance Lei Analyse my own personal viewing habits. In keeping the diary i discovered i prefer a category of television programming i Lul can Best be described As a whole Bunch of shows Allie same this kind of program Mir. Is made possible i Hough the Miracle of Remote control which enables you you have Cable to and a Quick thumb to watch. In less Llian one minute l eople committing Idu Lery in designer cd Lhing on Dallas thumb ii televised Christian giving out his toll free number thumb hilarious Beer spoke dog spuds Mackenzie thumb a person on the 24-hour weather Channel giving i Wear the forecast for the soviet Union thumb invertebrate journalist Robin Leach whipping himself into a Semise Xua frenzy no the sight of a Rich person s bathroom thumb people committing adultery in designer clothing on Falcon Crest thumb Rivera thumb one of the numerous commercials that leave you with the Strong impression thai american business executives who once Prelly much ran the world now spend virtually All their time agonizing aver what kind of telephones to buy thumb hilarious bet r Spuke dog spuds Macken in thumb Ludge Wapner explaining gently to a woman plaintiff that perhaps the reason she looks so unattractive in her Slaughtor s wedding pictures is Noi so much because her dressmaker a inca Pelc no but More because she is the size of Reno nov thumb clothing designer on knots Landing committing adultery Wilh hilarious Beer spokes or spuds Mackenzie. Finally my wife who hates ii when i do this renders me unconscious with a wrench. Unfortunately there was no Way to list All these shows in the Weensy spaces provided in the Nielsen diary so i left most of it Blank anyway having my input to the to Industry i Row have these two dollars to spend any Way i want. I was going to use them to brighten the Clay of a child i know Hul Llu kinds of things thai brighten his Day isl a minimum of 179.95, nol or Hunting batteries. I link 111 buy .1 Beer . Bartender i los in give me a bottle of any him Hal is nol represented by spoke dog Spud Chaste woman ought not be subject of jokes by miss manners United future Syndicate dear miss manners i m 21 and still a Virgin. I have found hit it rare. My is Mem Illihi i rude in telling pro Elf about his strikes with me and my Ace turns Biel red. It s not just his remarks but then they always come out Wilh Jukes about ii. I think it s Good thai i be still got my virginity because 1 never have been accused of cheating and doubt that i would be. But whal should i say to people and to my Boyfriend for thai Mailer about i hair embarrassing Virgin jokes gentle Reader this May come As .1 shuck Lull one of the Idva Lagi s e f Dimity , that i lady could not be i full talked about in the fashion Yeiyu rules tribe. Any gentlemen but particularly one who career Abtil her would make Short work of anyone who dared mention her name disrespect luny. Now you my miss manners Ihrl virtue is dining your rep Lalion. And that the chief of fender is the very in Tom Vito ought to have been your chief defender tins id Nura you hear is her sigh. Do not be embarrassed to employ the manners of h set t . I Liu includes warning the Young 111.111 anybody who discusses Wilh others the Pir or previous investments in her matrimonial venturis Uva the words this Jin utry 14, j98b ital pts
