European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 11, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns the inside scoop on How the news game works by Dave Barry Knight Didder newspapers As a  journalist i find Hinl when i Zitti and social fund ions i in Oflyn peppered by questions Ham members of he Public who Are eager la learn More about How i he news game works. It generally goes like this you work Lor a newspaper his this Guy works for a newspaper gel him punch punch punch kick thanks to my  training i have been Abler to Deled underlying this curiosity a certain amount of Public scepticism ind yes even hostility toward thu press much of it appears to Stem from the Gary i  Mil  Rice Story which has received such inti use and widespread  that some of you h i m la think  press is exp oiling Gary Hart into Donna Rice by thinking up excuses to link their names in boldface Type like his Gary Hart and Donna Rice every trance to get bin Nuse the Only Way we know of in sell newspapers is to me live names of Gary Hart anal Donna Rice. This is of course lbs Oluic nonsense. Weill shave i irn  and Jessica i Lahn. Anyway today i thought i to explain How american journalism works in Hopes  you the Reading Public will Sain a belter understanding of Why you skip straight to the comics. The news gathering process begins of course with outbreak of the news event itself. Generally there will not be any journalists present unless the event occurs inside a newspaper building which is where we modern journalists must spend All of our time so that we can remain linked via our computer terminals to a sophisticated worldwide electronic information network which we use to transmit late breaking developments to each other. For example. If a journalist finds out from one of his sources about an important new joke such As the one about the Man who walked into the bar with a Parrot on hit head he the journalist can use advanced microchip technology of transmit this joke instantaneously to literally thousands of other journalists. They can respond at nearly the Speed of Light with the one about the Man who tells his wife that he was at a bar with solid Gold urinals. How then do we obtain our actual news we get the vast bulk of it from the wire services associated press and United press International. You would assume judging from their names that these Are vast omniscient. Information gathering machines but in fact they consist mostly of caffeine crazed individuals sitting at computer terminals and hastily rewriting stories out of their local newspapers. So to summarize the Basic journalism system the newspapers get almost All of their information from the wire services and the wire services get almost All of Ihler information from the newspapers. The result is that certain news stories lend to go around and around gaining momentum each time. A Good example of that is the Middle East. Many years ago archaeologists now believe some kind of news event actually occurred there it was Jordan rejects talks with Syria Lebanon or Lebanon Syria Jordan talk about rejection or something like that and the Story got caught up in the wire service newspaper circuit and now has attained a slate of eternal Media life appearing in every edition of every daily newspaper in America usually next to the Story headlined Dollar Falls is.  another important source of news is thin air. This is where we  journalists obtain our information about trends which Are enormously important societal changes that Are so Broad and sweeping that no actual member of society such As yourself is even aware of them. An excellent example was the cover Story in Newsweek Magazine a few months Back headlined the 80s Are  this was a wonderful piece of journal Lam taking dozens of smaller trends such As yuppies Nouvelle cuisine Couch potatoes Madonna cocooning Etc. All of which exist primarily in the minds of journalists and forming them into a Gigantic death Star of a trend spinning somewhere out in deep journalism hyperspace invisible to millions of Normal Earth people who continue to do pretty much the same stuff they be been doing since before Newsweek officially declared that the Flos had begun probably around 1973. Well i Hope that this Brief discussion has Given you a deeper appreciation for modern journalism and the kind of intensive Effort thai goes on behind the scenes from the moment that a Cirse news bulletin flashes Over the wire Syria rejects Gary Hart and Donna Rice to the moment just hours later when your delivery person hurls your newspaper into your neighbor s child s scum filled wading Pool. And next i Ime you Are feeling critical of the news Media remember what the situation is like in the soviet Union where there is no free press. Everybody Over there has to gel a real Job. When a lady advertises for a Date who pays by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners my engagement was broken off by Mutual consent almost three years after we met through a newspaper and. We were very serious about our relationship but there were differences that could not be resolved now it � single Man approaching my 35th birthday i have gone Hack to the ads. I have been receiving phone Calls in response to the letters i be sen to Blind Boi number and i need to ask some questions about quasi Blind Date etiquette. If he parties decide to meet for a drink or sunday Brunch is there any established pattern Ai to who if expected to pay for it since this is the 19bds, it should be a topic of discussion before the meeting. But when t mention in to ladies who Contact me they tee it As a sign that i am  ii ii the lady who put the and in the paper yet if a fellow responds and the rails he May be on the Hook if she decide she would like to meet him. Conversely if the follow placet the and and would Lite to Meel a lady who responds he is on the Hook again. The fellow naturally seels to avoid the appearance of being a cheap person. What s the solution gentle Reader miss manners can think of two reasons for this sort of problem and she does t care much for either of them 5. That ladies claim a i _ right to be aggressors in initiating courtship but refuse to take the responsibility of planning Ihm and paying the Bills. 2. Thai you Are being auditioned fur financial generosity by those who consider Bill paying a prerequisite for Romance. Both of miss manners objections Are related to a deeper distaste for advertising for Romance however much she hears about the Lack of alternatives in modern society. The  alternative is to get involved in society so that ineligible people one likes will Supply similar but eligible ones. Miss manners still considers Thill not Only safer and More respectable than Blind ads but More discriminating. Now that miss manners has got that off her heaving Chest let her apply herself to your problem. Such first meetings As you describe ought to be Brief cheap and Public perhaps Coffee or Lea. Then if closer acquaintance seems desirable you can work out further arrangements. If this discourages someone who interprets it As an unwillingness to invest in her All the belter. Miss manners would think that self respecting people of both genders would not want to incur obligations Al that Point. But in any Case the Bill will be Small enough to allow you to pick it up if you sense that the lady seems unable or unwilling to do so. Dear miss manners i Wai invited for dinner at the Home of the daughter of the Man i am dating. She a been married for four Yean. I a told earlier by her father that the we pre Grunt when we arrived we were greeted with warmth and i congratulated the Young people. They were very Happy and there a a lol of conversation an the tube Rel. I asked was this planned i she laughed and said yes. I replied that in is Nice thai people today can choose and plan their children. I Wai blessed with three boys but they arc Only a year and a half apart. Her brother and Hli wife arrived later and the daughter liked that we not mention the pregnancy to them became the had t told them yet. When the did announce the Good news her Tiller to Law asked the ume question i had if Iii wat a planned event and Wai told  a pleasant evening followed and everyone had a marvelous time i thought. When i Gol into the ear her father exploded. He a furious saying i had no right to Aik Luch a personal question. He Laid 1 Wai rude inconsiderate and nervy. Knowing How upset he Wai i did write a note of apology to his daughter but i Illel feel i was not out of line. I would like your View. Gentle Reader you will not like miss manner s View. She agrees that the question was outrageous and admires both your Date and the hosts for not letting ii spoil the night. Consider what you actually asked these people. Few people do and this poor lady had to face such grilling twice in one evening. You asked about their sexual habits do you practice birth control and if so did it fail and their possibly negative pre parental feelings is this an unwanted child if you do not understand the sense of privacy of a married couple please at least consider that of the child. It is a terrible cruelty to allow a child to know thai he could have been unwanted even for an instant or even just not eagerly anticipated. In is what you have told miss manners about your own children and she promises you that if they know this and someone always remembers and tells the child years later As if in were a trivial Mailer they do not dismiss it so casually. No one wants to feel unwelcome in his or her own family. Miss manners does commend you for apologizing promptly even before you sought a judgment. Reon Arr 11, i9m