European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 23, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                What Yotanta birth control device Revou  a someone miss  for thai you Kendo counsels teenagers the Challenge of sex education by Lawrence Kutner new York times Hen Sharon Satterfield s daughter was 11 years old she asked her Mother How old she should be before having sex. Satterfield was taken Aback. Her work As a child psychiatrist at the program in human sexuality at the University of Minnesota should have prepared her for the question. She just had t expected it till her daughter was older. Parents Are always at least two years behind where their kids Are she said. There May be a biological reason. While children Are developing emotionally at the same rate As their parents and grandparents their bodies Are maturing significantly faster. Studies by the world health organization show that girls from industrialized countries can expect to begin menstruating one year earlier than their mothers and two years earlier than their grandmothers did. Those differences appear to be linked to changes in nutrition. Yet the Challenge of teaching children about sex and sexuality lies More in issues of responsibility than in the details of reproductive biology. Although Satterfield s daughter raised the Issue herself some children do not. A child s failure to ask about sexual responsibility does t mean she knows All she needs to. More Likely child psychologists say she senses her parents discomfort with the issues. The mechanics Are easy but when it gets Down to talking about ethics and emotions most parents get cold feet said or. Kathleen a. Mccluskey Fawcett a developmental psychologist at the University of Kansas who works with High school and College students. Admitting to your child that the subject makes you uncomfortable despite its importance can allow her to talk about her own concerns. Sexual responsibility has taken on new importance for this generation of children. Aids More than anything else has raised the stakes in teen age sex. Normal adolescents have three character traits that make them especially vulnerable to aids. Their sexual behaviour is very impulsive they feel they re immortal and they have difficulty planning ahead said or. Ronald f. Levant who directs the fatherhood project at Boston University and has been developing aids prevention programs for teen agers. These characteristics often continue into Early adulthood. Research comparing the sexual behaviour of College students today with that of their counterparts before the aids crisis indicates that simply knowing the facts about the disease in t enough. They think about aids but they Haven t changed their sexual behaviour at All Mccluskey Fawcett said of the College students in her study. One Way to instill a sense of sexual responsibility in children is to talk with them about control and self image. For example a Parent might discuss the Issue of How to handle pressure to do something you Don t want to do. It s important to Start these discussions Early. Teen agers who had t been sexually Active Felt very comfortable talking to their parents about sex said Mccluskey Fawcett describing a study she conducted using Junior High and High school students. Once they were sexually Active they became  you Don t have to worry about whether you re going to be putting sex into your child s head said or. John e. Schowalter chief of child psychiatry at the Yale child studies Center. It s already  besides he said the majority of your teaching comes from How you behave not what you  even so there Are some things you should discuss with your children to help them Deal with the confusing and conflicting feelings brought about by their emerging sexuality. Many values that children bring to sexual relationships Are rooted in things they began learning As toddlers. As an introduction to How adults feel responsibility for other people 2-year-Olds should be told Why parents take care of babies. Every time we teach our children about that we re teaching them about sexual responsibility Schowalter said. Elementary schoolchildren need to learn about respecting other people s values when they Are different from their own. Do you Force another child to do something simply because it s what you want to do again the Content does t have to be sexual to teach the child the lesson. Use the plots of television programs and the lyrics of songs As springboards for conversations. What might happen if those two characters decided to have sex what does the woman find attractive in that Man what do those lyrics mean to you does that make sense avoid preaching. In fact you should probably listen More than talk. It s deadly when you sit the children Down and give them a lecture Schowalter said. Some experts on sexuality recommend talking to More than one child in your family at once. Eight year Olds will ask the questions that teen agers Are afraid to ask said or. Sharon Satterfield of the program in human sexuality at the University of Minnesota. Teen agers want to appear More sophisticated about sex than they really Are. They hide what they Don t  finally let children know that you respect their ability to make their own decisions about these issues. Sometimes parents Are so sure that their children Are going to do the wrong thing that it almost becomes a self fulfilling prophecy Schowalter said. Children will most often live up to your  saturday july 23, 1988 5-Yearmaternity leave associated Presse ight years ago Britain s largest Bank discovered it was being Hurt because More and More of women managers were leaving to have babies and not coming Back. That s when National Westminster Bank became the first of a number of British institutions to take a Radical step. It offered maternity leaves for As Long As five years. Open mainly to Young executives Nat West s pioneering career Breaks program also is open to men but the emphasis is on women and could help revolutionize Britain s tradition bound working world As a labor shortage looms As the Economy soars. The programs have been criticized however As too limited. Career break programs Are very much geared to managerial and professional occupations said Carole Truman a research fellow and author of a study of career Breaks. They re still very few and far Between but it May have opened the door to enabling people to take a More flexible approach to  Zeena Gooch a 30-year-old Nat West assistant manager who recently returned from five years off says that without the program she May never have come Back. You lose your Confidence when you re away and you re out of touch she said. Companies offering career Breaks include several other Banks As Well As Esso us pc a computer company and six government ministries. But Overall Britain is behind others on National leave programs childcare facilities and flexible working hours. In terms of a Range of options. We re lagging far behind other european countries said Bronwen Cohen head of policy at the government funded but Independent equal opportunities commission. Under a 1976 Law Only about half of working women qualify for maternity leave Cohen said in an interview. Only women who have worked at least 16 hours a week for the same employer for two years or at least 8 hours a week for five years can get their jobs Back after 40 weeks off. The government is considering raising the limit to 20 hours a week. In France most pregnant workers get maternity Breaks for As Long As two years and in Spain three years Cohen said. The european economic Community is studying a three month parental leave As a Legal minimum for All 12 member nations in the United states Congress is considering legislation to create a National 25-week leave Only 20 to 25 states have Legal maternity leaves averaging two months according to the congressional committee on women s issues when British women quit their jobs to have children most Don t return to the same company studies show. The equal opportunities commission found 20 percent of non working mothers stayed Home because they wanted to care for their children but two thirds said they quit working for Lack of childcare or flexible work hours. When they return to work usually after five years they often must take lower paying lower status or part time jobs Truman said. Gooch said that without her Bank s program i would have had to Start again or come Back As a  Nat West lost three quarters of the 80 women a year who took maternity leaves before the five year plan was introduced. It now offers Breaks to men and women with managerial potential who have been with the Bank for five years and will stay 20 years More when they come Back. Those who take the Long Breaks work for two weeks a year attend annual seminars and receive regular updates on the office. Annette Weller a Mother of two on a civil service career break said it does t keep you up with the work you were doing but it keeps you in touch with what s happening in the office. It s an initial step  the stars and stripes Page 17