European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 5, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Help to prepare children by involving them in trip planning. Let them Trace the route on Road maps. Easing travel with children files a by Marianne and Stephen Garber and Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service Reader s letter we Are planning a 12-hour car trip and the idea of travelling with our 4-year old and 6-year-old puts us in a panic. Do you have any suggestions for surviving the trip and reaching our destination without distress . Dear . Strange terrain fatigue and close quarters can make a Brief trip feel like an eternity to a Young child. Long Miles and smiles rarely mix but 12 hours in the car does t have to be a disaster. Ironically if you re Able to break up the journey with a few Well planned digressions the added time May make the ride feel More pleasant. When schedule restraints prevent such activity prior planning can save your sanity and offer your children imaginative opportunities for enjoying the ride. Here s what to do prepare your child. The destination is often expected to be a child s Reward for enduring the ride. Let the kids Trace the trip route on Road maps. Pick up pamphlets about famous spots along the Way and they can search for Road signs that Mark their approach. Establish Road rules. From seat Belt safety to hands off rules Post specific instructions for rider behaviour. The night before discuss the rules of the Road and role play probable situations. Talk about the kinds of car play that can be dangerous distractions for the Driver. Reiterate the reasons for wearing a seat Belt. Organize the car. Try hanging a bag on the Back of the front seat so they have places to put drinks and belongings. Some pockets could hold crayons colouring books playing cards and a few magnetized car games. Save a Row of pouches for mystery items which will be Given out As the kids earn them for cooperating during the trip. Lap desks provide a playing surface for Many activities. Try to keep the car As uncluttered As possible. Roof storage Racks and Wise packing will leave the seats vacant for movement and naps. Paper towels for spills and a trash bag will help keep everyone and the car neat during the trip. Make it fun. Play games. Begin with the letters of the alphabet and instruct your children to search for something on the horizon or in the car that begins with that letter. The goal is to reach the letter z before the trip ends. Check out the local Library or Bookstore for books with quiet time games to Surprise your children. When you need a break turn on a tape of favorite stories and let them follow along in their copy of the Book. Two tape recorders with earphones prevent fights. Provide incentives. Use the Chain game to multiply your children s efforts. For every 10-minute period they cooperate award them with straws that have flexible necks. The first time Pinch the end of one Straw and insert it into the other. Each time a child earns a Straw attach it forming a new link in the Chain. For every three straws earned he could delve into a mystery pocket on the hanging bag for something new to do. Give your child ways to measure time and distance. Younger children get a kick out of Concrete visual measures of distance. Before you Start the motor Tell your Crew they Are at the top of their Heads and at the end of the trip they will be at the tip of their toes. As the trip progresses inform them of their whereabouts in terms of progression Down the body. Think ahead. Everybody needs bathroom stops time to get out and move around As Well As a drink or snack now and then. Combat thirst by packing Frozen boxed drinks that can be sipped As they melt. Avoid snacks that Are Sticky or Salty. Plan your trip prudently. You can get a head Start by placing sleeping children in the car getting on the Road before the kids awaken. Some Veteran Drivers suggest the More Miles you can put in before lunch the better. For breakfast a picnic in the car makes travelling More fun. Try stopping at a Roadside Park where the kids can run around. After the break they la be More Likely to Nap passing a few More hours. Praise them a lot. Tell your children what it is they Are doing right. Whether they Are playing quietly or Awakening from a snooze brag about their Back seat cooperation. Save a few tricks for the drive Home. Marianne and Stephen Barber and Robyn Freedman Spizman write a column on child behaviour for the Atlanta journal Constitution that is distributed by Cox news service. Homesickness still a mom thing by Anna Quindlen new York times remember being homesick although i d  is one of those things you can t forget if you a experienced it like sky diving or falling in love wit the Best looking boy in the senior class when you Are a freshman with bad skin and posture. Except that being homesick is More horrible than either of these and More resonant too that sense that if you were Only in one specific Ordinary place the nausea would disappear and the misery and the palpable sense of unhappiness and disaffection that keeps you Only inches from tears except of course when you Are actually crying. It makes me feel unspeakably Safe being Able to write this without actually feeling it 1 have been thinking reluctantly of the times when i be been homesick because each morning i Send a child off to Day Camp who is wrestling unsuccessfully with his first bout of it. He does not yet have the word although it is mentioned in the Book in which big Bird goes off to the Beach to visit Granny and feels so terrible he cannot eat his Birdseed pancakes. Instead he says i miss you so much and he cries. This is How he describes it missing mom and crying. It is interesting that homesickness is still a mom thing which is exactly what it was when this particular child s mom went at age 10 to the mountains for two weeks with a Friend or when this particular child s dad went to Day Camp for one summer and one summer Only. I am trying to keep the tone dispassionate Here although whether that is because i feel so bad for my child or 1 am trying not to feel so bad for my former self i do not know. Remember How Scrooge travelling with the ghost of Christmas past looks upon himself As a boy alone and abandoned in a Musty schoolroom and begins to sob you get the idea that was my worst bout of homesickness i suppose when i went away with a Friend to her Parent s summer Home with enormous anticipation and found myself overnight catapulted into an obsessive state. Looking at the Lake sitting in the boat swimming to the float All i could think of was one thing i have to get Home. One night after everyone was asleep i slunk into the Kitchen and called Rny parents Long distance begging them to come and pick me up. They thought it Best that i Tough it out. Emphasis on the word  the physical sensation would in the years to come become unmistakable the empty feeling in the pit of the stomach the sensation of having a Backpack filled with big dictionaries strapped Between your shoulder Blades. In the years to come too 1 would realize that Only two other states approximated those physical conditions unrequited love and depression. Perhaps homesickness is a Little bit of both. I would just As soon not conjure it up vividly enough to be sure i know the last time i Felt it too. It was the first Day of College at lunch with my parents in the school cafeteria. A roast beef Sandwich big and red As a Brick on Rye Lay mocking me on the plate. No Way i would be Able to eat a bite. When my Mother was gone i took a Shower which is a great place to cry if you Don t want anyone to know you Are crying. It was still a mom thing even then. I am no longer homesick As an adult. I think i am supposed to believe that this is because of growth and maturity and a willingness to embrace new experiences. I like the lies we Tell ourselves to explain what we have become. The reason that we Don t feel homesick anymore is because we Don t believe in Home the Way we once did. We feel a melancholy when we Are away from our families but we Don t really believe in one place where everything will be All right where we will always feel Safe and unconditionally accepted. Mom is no longer an All purpose metaphor for peace. Page 16 the stars and stripes Friday August 5,1988