European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - November 12, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse Imbalances or psychological problems generally feel no sexual urge. The second emphasis is on the psychological and emotional interactions of couples that can destroy desire in people who in other situations might have Strong sexual urges. The impetus for the studies has been the realization by sex therapists that Many patients who had been treated Lor difficulties with the mechanics of sexual performance Buch As impotence or a failure to reach orgasm suffered from a Lack of sexual desire. Desire and arousal Are two entirely diff Ernel processes each under the influence of differ enl actors said Gayle Beck a psychologist at the University of Houston. Problems Wilh sexual desire rank As the most common complaint treated by sex therapists even though it is Only in the last decade that the problem was Given an official diagnosis. A recent Survey of 289 sex therapists found thai the most common complaint of partners in 31 percent of couples seeking sex therapy was a discrepancy Between partners in their desire for sex. The second most common complaint reported by 28 percent of patients was individuals troubled by either too Little or too much sexual desire. Much of the Rete Erch focuses on the biochemistry of desire particularly the role of hormones especially testosterone. Testosterone is often called the male sex hormone because it is More prevalent in men although it fluctuates in the individual with Lime and plays a key role in development of masculine trails. But it is also found in lesser quantities in women in whom Ita Levels fluctuate Over the course of the menstrual Cycle. In a study of men who suffered irom extremely Low Levels of desire As the result of underactive gonads reproductive gland doses of testosterone increased the men s frequency of is Iqual fantasies and restored their sexual desire but he testosterone had no it decl on the mechanics of sexual arousal such As their Genita arousal while watching erotic videotapes or fantasizing. This study and others with similar results have led scientists to conclude that testosterone regulates sexual desire. The study done by Julian Davidson a physiologist end colleagues at Stanford University was reported in patterns of sexual arousal published this year by Guilford press it s now very Clear that testosterone is the biological substrata of desire at least in men Davidson said. Their is less agreement on the relationship Between testosterone and desire in women. Studies by lie and others have found thai in Many women sexual desire peaks in the Middle phase of the menstrual period when testosterone Levels Are at their highest. But other researchers have tailed to duplicate the findings biochemistry aside every couple who have Ever been at Odds know that emotional life shapes their sexual life. Studies Are pinpointing More precisely which emotions have what effects. The most common cause of Low desire clinicians say. Is marital conflict. Laboratory research shows that like depression anger is particularly devastating to erotic desire. Anxiety can sometimes fan desire but interferes with the sexual act. In men desire is More vulnerable to anger while sexual arousal is More sensitive to anxiety. Beck has found in research reported at a recent meeting of the american psychological association someone who is preoccupied by worries would be Likely to eel sexual desire but might have trouble getting or slaying aroused she said. Lovemaking is vulnerable to intrusive worrisome thoughts because it is largely a skill while desire is More vulnerable to anger because it operates much like an emotion. While an argument will Dampen partners desire for sex they could still follow through if they were to become aroused.". The judgment of what level of desire is too Tow or Loo High is of course a relative one. But to gel a sense of what the usual Range of desire is Tor married couples Joseph Lopiccolo a psychologist at the University of Missouri and Jerry Friedman a sex therapist in Stony Brook n.y., surveyed s3 couples who on average were 34 years old and had been married Lor 9 years. The men generally expressed a greater desire for sex than did their wives. More than 11 percent of the men said they preferred Intercourse More than once a Day while about 3 percent of women expressed the same preference on the other hand about 4 percent of men and 10 percent of women said they desired Bax just once a week. The most common preference was for sex three or four limes a week. Fifty percent of women and 42 percent of men expressed this preference. Desire outpaced reality. Just 2 percent of men and 1 percent of women said they actually made love More than once a Day while 12 percent both of men and of women said the rate of lovemaking in their marriage was once every two weeks or just once a month. And 3 percent of men but no women said they made love less than once a month. The discrepancies Between the men and women reflect the different perceptions of their sex life. When a couple seeks treatment for a problem with sexual desire i often hear he s oversexed or she does t love me anymore but i quickly Learned to speak Only in terms of a discrepancy in desire Beck said. To see one partner or the other As too highly sexed or As having too Little desire is All have More women than men on their books Korobkov said. The one in Tallinn Estonia lists 7,000 women and Only 2,000 men. But you know in reality there Ere probably the same amount of lonely men for lonely women Korobkov lonely women Are not ashamed to come Here and look for a partner. Men believe it is below their dignity to search Tor a Wile through a computer. They have a Way out they marry the bottle end women especially those Over 55 Are looking More for companionship than love. The cases Are touching. They Are ready to marry a sick Man an invalid. They Are ready to look after. Someone. They have nothing to do. They Are retired their children Are grown up he said. One Baltic match making service was closed by police because it was running a Call girl ring. Authorities believe some others to bypass strict residence control Laws that require government. Permission to live in an Urban area. A Moscow residence permit is a prize Gem of soviet life. These services subvert the Law and have nothing to do Wilh love. We would never accept such cases but they Are common Korobkov of the 300-Odd personal ads in a 38-Page Book published by the Alliance cooperative boldly stale that a prospective partner is interested Only it the other has a Moscow apartment. 37 year old siberian woman doctor seeks a Man who has the proper conditions Lor residence in Moscow and who is in need of special care said one and. Ii May not sound romantic but Many modern russians seem to have Little time for Romance. Erma Bombeck. All of us have Momenta in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a House with a while carpet is one of them. Buying a secondhand car from a Friend who says Trust me is another. Living with a Jogger who cannot jog for a week is right up there in the top 10. But possibly the ultimate display of True grit is the ability to live with a teen Ager who is wailing Lor her hair to grow Cut. It s a High Price to pay Lor a vegetable Slicer that makes Roselles out of radishes As a Mother s Day Gill. There Are different theories about How fast hair grows. If it s a bad haircut that you can l Wail to get rid of it will grow one sixteenth of an Inch every five years. If you have paid a bundle to get a designer Cut it will grow four or five inches in a week. First you have to understand thai a teen Ager s hair is the Bane of her existence. Her entire life revolves around shampoo mousse gel. Conditioner dryers rinses Curling wands curlers Combs clips bleach perms color styling brushes and her own water Heater. When she makes s decision to Cut it trading on Wall Street goes crazy. You May have heard in your High school science class that hair is dead material. There is no pain when you Cut ii. Fool two minutes after the hair is gone regret turns to tears and tears evolve into a mourning period. Every morning of a Mother s dreary meaningless life she will be subjected to heavy whining and an update on her daughter s hair How she can t do anything with it How it s too Short for a rubber band and Loo Long to curl. Her grades Are going Down because it s at that in Between stage where she can t see but she can Leel drafts on the Backol her neck. Her social life is the pits because no one wants locate a girl whose hair is uneven. If you say something Nice Shell retaliate i Don t want advice or one More stupid word about my hair i Don t even want the word hair mentioned again do you hair hear you say lamely i did t mean to get in your hair. That is there s no need to tear your hair out Over this. I. Thought we could have a Nice discussion let our hair Down so to speak. Why i could Tell you stories about me that would make your hair stand on the door slams and she of your life what seems like years later she awakens one morning to Long hair. Life is Back to Normal again then As she searches frantically on every Doorknob in the House Tor a rubber band to gel it out other face she announces i m going to get a Short haircut Start packing. 01588 Emu Boshek saturday november 12, 1998 the stars and stripes Page 17
