European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 7, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                F careers Rhood business school oilers a workshop on Iho biological clock. At tha workshop the most popular in a series entitled happily Ever alter a psychologist and an obstetrician provide information on she Medico and emotional consequences of waiting 1o have children. They want to know what in Means to wait what Are the Odds what ate the risks said Saraino Zappert the psychologist who leads the works hip. There is a sense of i want to make sure i know every thing they seem very attuned to the scientific findings. They re saying if. You re 40, what is tha exact probability of having a child with Down s syndrome they wan to precisely plan  Zapp Crl who is 43 and has two children hears similar concerns from women Al Stanford s medical and Law schools. For the first Timo she said women at Stanford Are having children in their first year of medical residency this is a burning Issue Light now Lor a lol of Young women she said. They  i be got o think. About this sooner. I want to be aware of what is ahead of me they re smarter than my generation of women. We thought about these issues when we were 37,38.". Even As they grapple Wilh shared concerns women in their 20s lend to feel dissociated from the movement Hal inspired women to Blaze the career Trail to gel More women thinking about issues of career and children in the context of the women s movement higer Moriz and several friends Are organizing a conference in Washington next fall. They Are Caling it i m not a feminist  and plan to invite 500 Young women from the Easl coast. Heidi Hartmann director of the nonprofit Institute Lor women s policy research and Gale Nemec an Independent television producer have signed on As advisers for what the women Hope Nii Ghl become an annual event. The organizers say women need to enlist in causes like belter child care and leaves of absence Lor new patents. People Don l think about child care is. Higer said. Thoy think Well Lind a place when a have kids or i la quit my Job they Don t know How difficult it s going to tie to work out.". They have Learned though How High the Price can be Lor not examining  and emotions. Many Young women say they know at least one older. Woman an employer a Coll Garwuo a Friend a Sisley who has confided deep sorrow at Pul Ling career ahead of children sometimes without Ever making a conscious. Decision to do so. A 27-year-old venture capitalist in Chicago who did not want her name used talked about her Mentor who worked .100 hours a Waak and became one of the first women to be a partner on Walt Street. She s 38," said the younger woman. Sue s Brilliant she s wonderful and she worked incredibly hard to gel for Many women in careers the question of when to have children hat taken on major importance. Where she is. About three or Lour years ago. She old me All i think about is having children. She recently married. Now she s trying to decide whether logo through Wilh having children All the tests and everything else la wih require Al nor age. She said to a you Don t have to do what i did i had something to prove v the younger woman who is engaged to be married said Sha would like to have a child by her Early 30s. To love this woman she said. But i Don t want to be her that Lear seems to inform a Range of decisions. Marcia Watley 27, is a management consultant at a Boston firm she chose partly because it oilers Lien Ilc part Lime arrangements and generous parental leave to women with children. I think we re All afraid of looking Back one Day and saying i wish i d done it differently " she said. Virginia Fleisher 23, is an assistant investment adviser a i a Boston Lile insurance company and the Mother of a 16 month old girl. 1 we had Iho baby right after i Grad salad from business school so i could do a self planned leave of absence she. Said. I went Back when she was 7  Marcia Sells. 28, an assistant District Allor Noy in Brooklyn is undecided about what Many of her colleagues see As her next logical move to a prestigious Law firm. I m  Sells said. And 1 think Well if i go into a firm and work lots and lots of hours Hen i m going to definitely make sure i won t meet somebody and Ihen i won t be Able. To have a family i might look or one with More flexible hours one Wilh women partners who have children.". Her role Model is a 30 your old woman who Heads the child abuse unit in her office. The woman recently had her. Second child. She s made the decision to work in a place that allows her to work Lour Days a week Sells said and they re promoting her Ellen Galinsky the project director of the work and family Lite studies at Bank Surcel College in Manhattan says All this questioning has made women More astute As they Survey the Job Market. When i go to business schools she said they ask questions like. Who has the Best child Core who has the Best parental leave policy.  that Hose concerns Alon witha shrinking labor Force will Lorea employers to be More accommodating. Women now make up 44.b percent of the labor Force according id the labor department. In the 1990s women will fill go percent of All new Obs so Hal by 2000 women will account for almost Hall the work Force. ". Y. We re at a Crossroads Galinsky said. " companies. Are beginning to think about How to be More flexible in order to get the latent they want and not lose people.". Not everyone is so sanguine Katharine Esly founder. And executive vice president of the ibis consulting group in Cambridge mass., advises organizations on issues involving work and family. My speculation is Hal women will lower their aspirations again Shis said. Anne Machung a research associate at lha Institute for the study of social change in Berkeley calif., surveyed graduating women at the University of California Berkeley As Parl of a 198? study on sex dil Serences and work and family expectations. Almost All plan to have careers and children at the Samo Lima she said there is enormous contusion among Young women about Haw they be going to do this. They have this fantasy Hal they can get their careers established by age 28 or 29, have children then. A Oiler the labor Force. They re not aware of the difficulties of staying Homo and then re entering the work Torce. They Don t realize there Are  " has mastered a series of readiness skills. Use the Points below As a checklist Lor readiness and a teaching guide Lor the child who is old enough but not necessarily ready. Does your child have Bowel bladder control can she go or several hours before  her bus. Well formed rather than Little movements All Day Long if nol Ihen it s questionable whether she could hold urine or Bowel  enough to get to a toilet in Lime. All children develop differently but in this concerns you discuss it with your child s doctor can she identify body parts and functions by name. Teach the names of the parts of the body and words associated with using the toilet. Some parents Are More  euphemisms or shortened versions such As tee Lee or  it does t Mailer which words Are used but it is important everyone understands. Does your child correctly identity when her diaper is wet dry or soiled Praise her awareness. These distinctions Are important and the fact Ihal a child is uncomfortable in a wet diaper is encouraging. Is1 your child aware of the urge to eliminate some children will go to a Corner while others will make a Ace or Squi Nch Label the action As it occurs Laurie has to make poppy. Good now let s change your diaper.". Is your child Able to follow simple instructions will she walk to the bathroom if you ask her to lower and raise her pants by herself some clothing is easier to v  others. For the purposes of toilet training put your child in Loose fitting pants with Egasti cited.  your child afraid of the toilet fears hinder Progress a fear of Lushing or falling in the toilet can be. Overcome. Let her practice Flushing and watching her bus go Down the commode. Does your child have any pain during elimination i your child strains when making a Bowel movement talk to your doctor about your concerns. It s important thai pain and using the toilet nol become associated. Your daughter has interest in using the toilet can take off her clothes and has delighted in her occasional Success so she May be ready to develop Independence. Take a positive approach to toilet training. Some people suggest that you totally follow the child s Lead. It you area very Tow key Parent with Lota of patience and no immediate deadlines for toilet training this natural approach May work. If accidents upset you however. The no pressure method will be frustrating other. Methods rely on direct instruction positive reinforcement and practice. In our Book Good behaviour we presented Saveraid. Approaches to toilet training. Other sources of 1 information Are Joanna cotes s parents Book of toilet teaching and Nathan Azrin s and Richard Foxx s toilet training in less than a Day which represent very different views once upon a potty by Alona Frankel and going to the Polly by Fred Rodgers Are excellent children s books Lor teaching toll Al training concepts. However you go about it begin your toilet training during a Long weekend spent close to Home or at a time you can give your child plenty of attention the key element for both of you is Liming. Sri your to Toni u Oom b4luvlor,cftti� aunt  . 6o tet. Atun i on. 30302, december 1988 the stars and stripes Page 15