European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 15, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Wednesday february 15,1989 the stars and stripes Page 11 dear Ann Landers my Beautiful Bright 27-year old appeared at my Doorstep one evening last year with her 18 month old child in her arms. She had lost 30 pounds and was Fly ing High on cocaine. We put her in a Hospital but her connection kept bringing drugs to her room. Three weeks into the program her doctor called me and said come and get your daughter. She is not responding to treat  i knew she was dying so i sat and prayed. I picked up the phone called a substance abuse clinic and told them my Story. That very Day i said to my daughter pack your clothes. I m taking you to a place where you Are going to get  i prayed for 200 Miles. Today my daughter is six months clean. From the clinic she went to a Halfway House. She now has a Good Job lives with two recovering addicts and will have her Little girl with her within three weeks. She goes to Alco Holics Anonymous every Day and is very Happy. The message for your readers with loved ones who Are addicted is Don t give up remember that addicts Are powerless to help themselves. They need help from someone who is clearheaded and will stick by them and insist that they get treatment. Thanks for listening to a Story with a Happy ending no name please. N. Austin  Austin Beautiful. I m sure your letter will give encourage ment to those who Are struggling with the agonizing problem you faced awhile Back. They need the kind of Hope you have Given them. Bless you for  Ann Landers i be never seen this problem in your column and i m too embarrassed to ask anyone else about this. Hope you can help me. I am a 45-year-old woman happily married for 25years i thought. Last Spring my 16-year-old daughter introduced me to her new Boyfriend. He was 22. After meeting him i Felt As if i were 16 and it was love at first  they continued to see one another All summer and fall and she told me that she was crazy about him. Every time i saw the Young Fella my heart thumped like mad but of course i kept my feelings to myself. I prayed that they would become engaged although deep Down i knew shews too Young for that. Two weeks ago they broke up. I Don t know what happened and i did t ask. But Ann i can t seem to get Over it. I am heartbroken and there is a big void in my life. My daughter never talks about him and seems to be adjusting very Well. But i m a wreck. None of this makes any sense. I m ashamed of myself. Am i sick can you help please try. Menopausal mama san Diego dear . Some mothers have a tendency to relive their live through their daughters. I would t Call it sick but it in t entirely healthy. In time you will recover . Meanwhile i Hope you won t pressure your daughter to get Back with the fellow. It would be better for All concerned if she dated ayoung Man you did t have a mad crush on. Dear Ann Landers i hate being pestered by people who intrude on my privacy and try to sell me something Over the Tele phone. Many of these Calls originate in other  can i escape these pests Torrance  Torrance write to Telephone preference service direct marketing assn., 6 e. 43rd st., new York . 10017. Must Send Complete name address and phone number the St fan Pes european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook Usa commander editor in chief it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of de sense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. Everything advertised in this publication shall be made available for Purchase use or patronage without regard to race color religion sex another reaction to photo of helmet this is in regards to the recent letters about the photo of the helmet at the Remscheid crash site. Would it be helpful to those who disliked the photo to know that what the stars and stripes published was a Symbol that s been in use for Many hundreds of years the military has for centuries used an article of clothing or equipment often but not exclusively a Hel met placed where a Soldier has fallen to Mark his passing. An example would be that of a we ii infantryman s helmet placed on top of his Rifle with the Bayonet end stuck in the ground. This is by no Means just an american Symbol either roman greek and Many other ancient countries sol Diers swords were put into the ground where they died Shields were hammered 19 Trees and helmets have been placed on and in soldiers Graves since sol Diers started wearing them. I can even think of several movies that have used an empty helmet As a logo. Specifically the logo for the longest Day is that of an empty helmet turned upside Down lying alone discarded on a Normandy Beach. Do you think that the producers of the longest Day have no compassion or Are uncaring or unnecessarily gory i Don t think so i think we understand that picture for what it was a Symbol of a fallen Ameri can Soldier. All of us have the right to interpret a piece of Art or a photo used in a newspaper the Way we want but i think we can misinterpret an artist s intention. Before the Vietnam veterans memorial was unveiled the vow lobbied to have it dismantled and a new design built they called it a Black Gash of  that s what they saw but i doubt seriously if the Young woman who designed it meant it that Way. Neither did the general Public. We have All seen pictures of  ple s reactions. Two totally different reactions to the same piece of Art but each valid. I suggest that what the stars and stripes did was to publish a picture of an ancient military Symbol that some readers May have misunderstood possibly be cause the air Force is so Young and does t have a thousand years of tradition behind it. Possibly because it hit so close to Home. The Rifle with the helmet on top was put in the ground 40 years ago on a Hilltop in Italy or France. While we still Honor that Man and still Grieve for his loss it s not the same As a Young Captain who died just the Day before in an Accident in a Village not far from us. Yes you Are right. The photo was gut wrenching and heartbreaking. But it was supposed to be. How else Are you supposed to feel when a Comrade in arms has died it s of to feel grief you Are allowed. You Are supposed to walk out of  Happy but wiping tears away. You Are supposed to look at a picture of a starving african child and feel horror. You Are supposed to have an emotional  s what is supposed to happen. It s one of the reasons the artist or sculptor or film maker docs what he does. He wants to make you feel something. It is also by the Way one of the criteria we use to judge apiece of Art. The veiled suggestion that the editors and by implication anyone else Are not True americans be cause they did not interpret a photograph in exactly the same Way As one gentleman did is unspeakable i would ask what else the gentleman would like to inter pret for us which books should be published what museums should be open to the Public is he going to make these interpretations alone based on his own personal definition of what True americans should or should not think or is he thinking of setting up Apanel Connie Bryant Rhein main a West Germany male Secretary claims sex discrimination the . Government. Recently i went on yet another interview and did not get the Job. This Job was Given to someone who has less experience than i have. You see i am a minority. I am not Black yellow or Green or a female i am a male Secretary. Because i am a male Secretary i stand Little Chance of getting Many jobs. When i am called to come for an interview i hear comments like of i have never seen a male Secretary before or Why Are you a Secre i can t imagine that you would say to an overweight lady of i have never seen a fat Secretary  i have been turned Down for a promotion because a supervisor thought a male could not serve Coffee. Give me a break a Secretary is More than a waitress waiter we Are professionals and the work is hard and demand ing. The next time you interview a male Secretary give him a Chance read the of 171 he brought along go to co and review the official personnel file off ask. A u female  Are just As Good As our female counterparts and would like the same Chance to Advance. We Are not something from the circus we Are professionals an would like to be treated As such. The other matter is discrimination on housing allowances for those of us who Are hired overseas. If a spouse is separated or divorced and decides to stay overseas he or she become eligible for the housing allowance. If a military person gets a european out and obtains a civil service Job within six months he or she is eligible for the housing allowance. These people have chosen to stay overseas As we have. Those of us who did not come Over with a spouse or Are not Lucky enough to get a european out should not be discriminated against. We do the same Job As they do and should be entitled to the same benefits As they Are. I guess our government can pass Laws affecting the individual states about discrimination but if you work for the government then the Laws Don t apply. Name withheld Stuttgart West Germany pen pals please print my name in your pen pal column. I am 20 years old. My hobbies Are singing Dancin and Reading. Ronald Alum Aglipay st., Bais City Negros Oriental Philippines i am 25 years old and would like to have pen pals. My hobbies Are Reading aerobics cooking dancing travelling and writing letters. Nas Hroon Mohammed rally Road. Now Village California Trinidad and Tobago i would like to be ii sted in your pen pal column. I am 32 years old. I am interested in writing let ters music cooking travelling and photo Rahv i will answer All  Reyes co mrs. Gomez Tane Bush 16 5300 Bonn 2, West Germany i am 37 years old and would like to have pen pals. I work As a dressmaker and am a moslem by Faith. Melissa p. Gregana co Mansura p. Milan . Box 4617, jeddah21412 kingdom of saudi Arabia please place my name in your pen pal column. I am 28 years old. My hobbies Are pen pal writing travelling playing guitar and stamp collecting Eppie g. Laranjo 279 Salvador Lanao Del Norte Philippines i am 36 years old and would like to have pen pals. I enjoy outdoor activities listening to music Reading cooking sewing and playing Tennis. I Ama teacher. 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