European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 21, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Tuesday february 21, 1989 the stars and stripes Page 11 dear Ann Landers you recently printed a letter suggesting that it was unwise to Tell a grieving Divorcee what a Jerk her former spouse was. That letter was great As far As it went but it did t go far enough. It is amazing How Many people have no idea How to handle themselves around a divorcing person. A Good Rule of thumb is this if you would t say it to a widow Don t say it to someone who is going through a divorce. Here Are some examples when a Friend sister daughter Etc Calls and says her husband died you would t say Are you certain you could be mistaken. Maybe hell come Back. Go to the morgue and stick a pin in him just to be  rest assured your divorcing Friend is in a pretty Good position to know whether or not her marriage is  her judgment. Would you ask a widowed Friend if she killed her husband even if she had made a mistake that contributed to his death would you add to her guilt and grief by asking what happened show the same respect for the Divorcee. Would you Tell your widowed Friend How much Hap pier she is going to be without her husband Why then say this to a woman who is being divorced the death of a marriage is often depressing even though she maybe Well rid of the bum. Like the widow the Divorcee must go through Many stages of grief. There Are no shortcuts so Don t suggest any. Whether she is gleefully proclaiming her Freedom or sobbing in despair she is in the stage that she needs to be in at that moment. Your patience and under standing Are the Best gifts you can bestow whether she is blaming herself blaming him or jumping into the arms of another Man. Both parties in the divorce will go through the stages regardless of whom left whom. Divorce is never easy but it s not the end of the world either. It May be the end of a lifestyle but it can also be the beginning of another one that might be better. Sometimes family and friends try so hard to protect the institution of marriage that they forget what really matters is the Well being of the people involved. Believe me the Best thing you can do is be non judgmental and supportive. I know because i be been there in grand rapid dear grand so have i and you be made some excellent  for those sensible guidelines. Dear Ann Landers my husband has a Job that keeps him on the Road 20 nights out of the month. Six months ago i was sexually assaulted by an intruder who gained Entrance to my bedroom by climbing the Balcony and prying the window open. Since that terrible experience i have been afraid to sleep alone so i asked my two sons 10 and 12 years of age to share my King sized bed. It is a great Comfort to have those two warm bodies next to me. There is no nudity involved. We sleep with our pyjamas on. Some relatives heard about this and told my Hus band it is disgraceful. I think they Are evil minded. My husband in t so sure. He said i should write to you. Your word is Law in our House. Please give me you opinion. Worcester mass., Mother dear Mother beef up the Security system and get those boys out of your bed Pronto. Those warm bodies May be a Comfort to you mom but the arrangement is unhealthy for your sons. Los Angeles times syndicated columnist Landers welcomes your letters. You can write to her in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces Cavern construction questions answered this letter is to the individuals responsible for the development of military caverns . Leighton bar Racks at Wirzberg West Germany. What i and probably hundreds of other service members would like to know is exactly who is responsible for this development we would like to know who is responsible for paving a parking lot one month so that about one month later the same parking lot can be dug up and made part of the Marne Garden who is responsible for putting a Road by the commissary and then putting the pipes in Don t we have to pay to have those sections of Road repaved also Why does Leighton s dig personnel have to be Road guards at construction Sites off the installation i understand that the Road goes through military housing but it seems that just As Many local nationals trave this Road As do americans. What s the use of having a chief master planner if he does t sit Down and think out these developments i realize that i be asked quite a few questions and raised a sensitive Issue but i feel that the taxpayers not to mention those of us who live Here have a right to know where their tax Dollar goes. Pfc. Dave Ross Wurzburg West Germany editor s note it. Col. Richard l. Trombley director engineering and housing . Military Community Wurzburg replies the a 210-20 paragraph 2-6a delegates development of installations to the installation commander who will have total responsibility for the installation master plan in the Wurzburg Community the Deci Sion making body is the master planning Board which consists of All installation commanders and representatives of the major tenant units. The Deh master plan Ning Branch makes recommendations to the Board but the members of the Board make the final decisions As to the development plans for the installations. Many factors May cause development plans to become outdated or seemingly inefficient. New commanders have new ideas and Are constantly revising the master plan for their installations. Congress can authorize funds at unexpected times which can wreak havoc to the planning process. Although it would seem logical mixing funds from one project to support another . Preparing Road Cross Ings for future projects or upgrading utilities to support a future project is prohibited in most cases. In addition it is More Cost effective to include Small repair jobs in construction contracts than to pay High fees for delaying contractors schedules. An example of this situation is the destruction and repaving of roads on a seemingly unending basis. It is impossible to assume that All contractors will begin and conclude construction As scheduled therefore any construction contracts which May affect the condition of roads have costs included to repair any sections which Are destroyed. The main Road on Leighton Barracks which was an existing world War ii Airfield runway was repaved in june 1987 at a Cost of $4 per Square Yard. The four Road crossing made on what was the runway destroyed about $500 of the new pavement. Even though postponement of the paving work was impossible the $6 million commissary $5 million sewer upgrade and $15 million District heat projects had costs included to repave areas which would be destroyed during the construction. Could we have waited to pave until completion of these major construction projects yes but the Cost would have been the inconvenience of an unimproved Road surface to the thousands of Drivers coming in handout of Leighton daily. Residents of the Wurzburg Community have endured ongoing construction Over the past three years however the following is a list of the improvements on Leighton Barracks audio photo Center dental clinic moms & babes Burger King child development Center renovated apartments in Skyline commissary under construction Middle school under construction additional parking areas nearly doubled on Leighton. As a result of the cooperative Effort by the  office and the contractor to make Road closing As painless As possible for the occupants of the Skyline housing area Leighton s  personnel were directed to be Road guards at construction Sites off the installation. Although the Deh master planning Branch and the Wurzburg Community master planning Board do our Best to prevent the waste of our tax dollars members of the Community can submit their opinions to their installation commanders who will make the decisions that will affect the installations and Wurzburg Community. Reader wants to receive his magazines i have a complaint to take up with the military postal service maps. I have six subscriptions to various magazines and hardly a month goes by without at least one of the magazines missing. The worst Case is my Reader s digest subscription. In the 10 months since i received my first Magazine i have Only received five magazines. That is 50 percent of my magazines missing from just one subscription. I have gone four times to complain but All i get is the Label must have fallen  if that Many labels fall off then maps must have thou Sands of undelivered magazines sitting around gathering dust. I personally feel that there must be some pilfering going on to cause such a bad delivery record especially in the Case of the Reader s digest because of its Small size. It fits perfectly in the Side pocket of a pair of Blu pants. If it is indeed labels falling off then the maps needs to find a Way to improve handling procedures to prevent so Many labels from falling off. I never lost a single subscription in the United states in the two years that i was there and there should be no reason for maps to lose the magazines Here. Sgt John e. Gossett Hanau West Germany editor s note capt. Gary Way chief mail services Branch . Army postal group 1st personnel come he Usa eur replies unfortunately publishers do not Send All magazines in a plastic wrapper which provides Protection to the item and the address Label. Some publishers place magazines inside a paper sleeve with the address Label affixed to the sleeve not the Magazine. Magazines Are transported in Large Canvas bags or plastic trays from new Jersey to ports in Germany and the Netherlands via containerized shipping. Mailing labels do come off when this happens Post Al personnel May by regulation provide those magazines to hospitals clinics Day rooms chapels or destroy the item. The same Rule applies to magazines that cannot be forwarded to a new address. Some publishers will mail subscriptions via priority mail As an additional service and Cost. You need to Contact the publishers of the magazines you receive to see if this service is available. At the same time you May want to ask the publisher to place your Magazine in a plastic cover prior to mailing. When you have information concerning pilfering or theft of mail please Contact the local postal officer or use the postal crime hotline at ets 379-7673. Theisman Snipes european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook Usa commander editor in chief it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of de sense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. 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